What do I tell my family

LegacyUser

Hiya, need advice on what to tell my family.

I had a small group of friends in school and college and within the past few years our lifes has taken different directions and I've lost contact with the friends that I had. Friends moved away due to college, work and travelling. I'm a lady in my late 20s and living at home. Moved out for short periods of time but always came back home. Hopefully this situation will sort itself out soon because I intend on joining classes in the hope of meeting new people. Within the past two years my only social outings have been family gatherings. have noone to hang out with socially. I'm good though - I'm kept busy in work in a job that I love.

Have been single for some time. Happily may I add. I've had so much heartache from men in the past. Due to being so busy at work I currently have no time for relationships.

Have joined an online dating site recently looking for men for discreet, casual sex. Got plently of replies and I'm definately going to go ahead with meeting someone for sex.

Considering that I haven't been out socially for some time - what do I tell my family when I do go ahead and meet a guy? I certainly can't tell them that I'm meeting a guy of the internet and will be staying in a hotel tonight. I'm going to have to tell them something or they would be worried if I don't appear home.

mood

Why not just move out?

PinkCandy

You say you have a job that you love, I agree with the above post, why not just move out? If you don't want your parents to know what you get up to, you're in your 20's, it really is time to move I think...

mood

Yu could also get in touch with old friends again as well as make new ones.

LegacyUser

i'm in the same boat start going out on your on maybe say your going the pictures and come back a two 2 three hours later so when u start going to meet people no1 will notice

LegacyUser

Tell them you're going out for the night with a crowd from work & you're staying in one of their houses afterwards? Or going away for the night to meet an old work / college friend?

In the long term, you'd be better off moving out of your parents place if you can afford it at all - what about a house share?

sachamama

hi
i'm just wondering as you call yourself a lady in your 20's, do you actually see yourself as a woman in your 20's who doesnt have to lie or make up stories to her family, nor does she have to explain herself ?

wouldnt it be better to just say im going out see you when i see you?

username123

sachamama wrote: »

hi
i'm just wondering as you call yourself a lady in your 20's, do you actually see yourself as a woman in your 20's who doesnt have to lie or make up stories to her family, nor does she have to explain herself ?

wouldnt it be better to just say im going out see you when i see you?

Id imagine its less a case of explaining yourself and more a case of living under your parents roof and them quite naturally questioning a sudden change in behaviour and being curious as to whats going on. Maybe Im old fashioned but to me it just seems plain good manners to say 'im off to such and such a place' so that the family are not worried about an absence (in the context of the OP saying she never socialises).

OP, Id just say Im away overnight for a visit/work/trip alone and not make a big deal over it. Like 'listen, Im heading to wherever on friday night cos im seeing 'whoever' or doing 'whatever' - see you sometime on saturday'.

LegacyUser

When you do eventually go to meet somebody, make sure that you follow basic safety rules & tell someone where you are going & who you're meeting.

LegacyUser

Hi im in a sorta similar situation, i drifted apart from my best mate at the end of 2006, in 2007 i had next to no socil outings except the odd nite out with people from work or family gatherings.

I also joined a online dating site, although i would like a relationship i never seem to get very far but i have been out on alot of dates. I started meeting men from the internet at the beginning of 2008, over a year since my socil life ended, i live with my parnets too and this may sound bad but i just lie to them and prented that i have a group of new friends like drinking buddies. I know that lying is wrong but i have good reasons to ( my rents wouldnt understand me meeting ppl from the net, they would worry about me and try to stop me going, so if i didnt do this i would have never gotten out of the house and would have absolutly no hope of ever meeting anyone) so basiclay it saves a whole lotta trouble and grief if u just say a little white lie. Tell them that youve made a new friend from work or something, or gotten in touch with one of your old mates, i was nervous at first and felt guilty but now im used to it, just have a few made up names of people and your sorted, as for staying over in hotels or whatever, well ive stayed the nite round some of the blokes places and just said to them the next day that i kipped on a mates sofa, i know its bad but your in your 20's like me and were adults so its not breaking the law or anyhting, just let em kno that u wont be home so they dont worry.

One thing i will say is careful who your meeting as there is some oddballs on the net, so trust your instincts and maybe meet them somewhere public first. good luck and have fun!

R.D. aka MR.D

Definitly tell them that you are going to such and a such place, say with a work friend or something.

You don't know what could happen to you and the extra few hours that people are confused by your lie could make all the difference.

It sounds alarmist but better safe than sorry.

chuckles30

+1 for telling someone where you're going!! You never know who you're meeting and it can be handy to have someone to phone you if you need an 'out'. As for the parents....I think the others have pretty much covered it

newbie2009

There's no need to tell them anything unless they ask and just say your meeting a friend. Why not rekindle contact with your previous friends..I don't see why you'd have something to lose in that regard. Even if it's just texting it might eventually lead to meeting up for drinks and stuff to catch up with one anothers lives.