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Moving away from child

  • 30-08-2009 9:56am
    #1
    Jessiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 148 ✭✭


    I am separated with an 8 year old son. This year (long story) we have had major custody problems and behavioural problems with our son. At present he is in the system for therapy.
    He has not lived with me (bar a few nights) for 4 months. He does not want to live with or spend time away from his dad (lot to do with his dad). It will take months to slowly turn this round and that's ok, so long as he gets help and is happy. He's settling lately and things are better. However I envisage he may always favour his dad and if I only have him at weekends or similar I will accept this, so long as he is happy. This is the worst case scenario I have to accept.
    I am in a relationship with someone 2 hours away. We had a serious chat about how we would manage if we got very serious. Now people can move, change jobs but for now he's in a permanent public sector job and unless he could re-locate chances are I'd end up having to move there for the time being. I could accept my son is happy with his dad majority of the time and come back a couple of days a week/holidays. Ideally a move to somewhere in the middle would be best and nobody knows what life will bring. If we get to that stage I'd try and work it out for everyone.
    Unfortunately this is the type of thing you have to think about if things are too move forward, otherwise you need to call it quits.
    Everything is very up in the air at moment so who knows what 6 months will bring. I just wondered are there any other weekend mums about? At the moment I don't have my son at all so a couple of days a week etc. would be marvellous.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Jessiegirl,
    I'm not a mum but I am in a relationship with a man with a child and the issue of parenting and time has come up. Clearly the situation's not ideal but I think the best way to approach it is working out what's enough time for both the parent and the child. If you're satisfied that a few days a week and holidays are enough for you both and that that situation works for the child's father then where's the problem. Sure, situations can change over time but nothing is permanent. If you felt your son needed more time with you, you'd find a way to do it.


  • #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    There's a parenting forum here where you might get some more feedback on your particular situation.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=251

    And Rollercoaster.ie is (more or less) specifically for parents.

    I have no experience of this but, for what it's worth, it sounds like you're being perfectly level-headed about your circumstances and very considerate of your son's needs and wants.

    See how your new relationship evolves and remember you can have an important and fulfilling role as a parent even if you're "part-time".

    Best of luck


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