Tributes to the living.

Pighead

One thing that really annoys Pighead is the fact that people are generally going to wait until he's dead before speaking about how brilliant he was. You see all all these people dying and before you can say "It's not much use to me now" you've got people falling over each other to pay tribute to "such a warm, loving and generous person".

Old Johnny Dullaghan died last week and everywhere Pighead went people were bigging him up and singing his praises "Ah Johnny was a great man, best drinker I ever seen" or "Johnny had the strength of two workhorses and a heart to match" The thing is Johnny lived alone for the last 10 years of his life and rarely socialised or made contact with the locals. Poor miserable fcuker had no idea that he was so revered.

Why can't we have a "Tribute Day" for people, say on their 70th birthday or thereabouts where a large hall is hired out and people take turns to point out how great the tributee is. Maybe get a local singer in to rearrange the words of a classic song and play it over a backdrop of images and highlights of said persons life.

They should have brought this in years ago. Would have saved Mike from Mike and the mechanics getting royally pissed off that he forgot to tell his Pa how much he loved him before he croaked it.

My name is URL

It's easier when they're dead, you don't have to do anything but say words

besides, the excitement of such a big occasion would probably kill a 70 year old

Biggins

Pighead wrote: »

...Why can't we have a "Tribute Day" for people, say on their 70th birthday or thereabouts where a large hall is hired out and people take turns to point out how great the tribute is...

Well for a start Harneys hall would be near empty by then! :rolleyes:

Pighead

My name is URL wrote: »

It's easier when they're dead, you don't have to do anything but say words

besides, the excitement of such a big occasion would probably kill a 70 year old

At least they'd die with a smile on his face. Pighead's pretty sure old Johnny would have preferred to have died in the local community hall surrounded by people saying great things about him rather than in the cow shed out the back of his house face down in a lump of fresian droppings..

Wazdakka

Because the Funeral process and the general practice of speaking well of the dead are used by people to gain closure for themselves.
I could be wrong but I dont think the dead give a toss what is said about them after they die.

Also speaking well of somebody who has died recently is a way for people to feel better about the fact that they have been ignoring / fighting with / hated the deceased for years.

Long Onion

I will agree to back Pighead's proposal but only if i get written confirmation that by doing so, I am excused from miserable, boring and thoroughly hypocritical funerals.

Davie_m

wasn't there a tv show where they showed someone videos of other people talking about them and then they brought these people out and everyone acted surprised..
at the end they give them this big red book...

dont think they let normal people on it since who would be bothered watching a tv show with normal folk wandering around...

Pighead

Long Onion wrote: »

I will agree to back Pighead's proposal but only if i get written confirmation that by doing so, I am excused from miserable, boring and thoroughly hypocritical funerals.

Yeah you'll never see so many hypocrites in your life as you will at a funeral.

Danno speaking on Monday: That prick Ollie Maguire sat beside me in the pub again last night and proceeded to bore the absolute arse off me for nigh on four hours. I'm gonna have to change pubs.

Tuesday: Ollie dies

Danno speaking Thursday at the funeral: Ah God rest his soul. I'll miss poor old Ollie badly. We used to have a drink every Sunday evening and a brighter, funnier more intelligent man you'd struggle to meet.

RHunce

what if the poor fúcker dies at 69??

he'll never know great he was :pac:

Horsefumbler

My name is URL wrote: »

It's easier when they're dead, you don't have to do anything but say words

besides, the excitement of such a big occasion would probably kill a 70 year old

Off topic: how many f*cking times have you been the first to respond to a new thread on ah? you must hold the record

Pighead

RHunce wrote: »

what if the poor fúcker dies at 69??

he'll never know great he was :pac:

That would be unlucky alright. Although Alanis Morrissette would probably call it ironic.

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's like dying at 69, when they're about to do a tribute of your life
And isn't it ironic, dontcha think?

Nope Alanis, Pighead most certainly does not.

Daroxtar

Biggins wrote: »

Well for a start Harneys hall would be near empty by then! :rolleyes:

Heart attack or diabetes will do us all a favour before she reaches 70.

My name is URL

Horsefumbler wrote: »

Off topic: how many f*cking times have you been the first to respond to a new thread on ah? you must hold the record

What I lack in life, I make up for in epic F5 skills \o/

pikachucheeks

Pikachucheeks suggests that Pighead leads by example.

If Pighead would like tributes to the living implemented for himself and for others, then surely the wisest move would be for Pighead to begin this process and highlight to others why this is a good idea.

RHunce

Pighead wrote: »

That would be unlucky alright. Although Alanis Morrissette would probably call it ironic.

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's like dying at 69, when they're about to do a tribute of your life
And isn't it ironic, dontcha think?

Nope Alanis, Pighead most certainly does not.

at least he got 69 :pac:

Pighead

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Pikachucheeks suggests that Pighead leads by example.

If Pighead would like tributes to the living implemented for himself and for others, then surely the wisest move would be for Pighead to begin this process and highlight to others why this is a good idea.

Nah, Pighead is an ideas man. Ideas men don't do the donkey work. Donkeys do that. Pighead's no donkey. You wouldn't see an architect building a house.

Hopefully a representative of the government is reading and they will propose "tribute day" during the next sitting of the Dail.

RHunce

pighead for president!!!!

Biggins

Daroxtar wrote: »

Heart attack or diabetes will do us all a favour before she reaches 70.

...or liver failure.

ejmaztec

If there's going to be a Tribute Day, there should also be a dual-purpose Bastards' Day. Cards could be sent to those individuals born outside marriage, and the other "bastards" would get cards full of uncensored abuse.

pikachucheeks

Pighead wrote: »

Nah, Pighead is an ideas man. Ideas men don't do the donkey work. Donkeys do that. Pighead's no donkey. You wouldn't see an architect building a house.

But you would see them designing it and planning out the layout of the house. My point being, if you have an idea, if you want something to work, you put effort into it.

You don't just whip out your magic wand and make something happen, in an instant!

... Unless you're Harry Pighead Potter!

Pighead

Poor old Harney. She's getting it from all angles these days. Even in a thread about tributes the poor womans getting bashed. Pighead bets that if a thread was started entitled "Thread specifically about the Anobon Province of Ecuatorial Guinea" Harney would still be somehow shoehorned into the conversation.

Well if "Tribute Day" ever does come about Pighead for one will be attending Marys bash. Pighead shall tell her that she was magnificent at generating lively debate on boards in the early years of the 21st century and would also tell that she has lovely shiny hair.

Pighead

pikachucheeks wrote: »

You don't just whip out your magic wand and make something happen, in an instant!

Pighead can. He creates instant wetness.

PirateShampoo

Maybe Johnny hated you all so kept to himself.

PK2008

People generally tell me Im brilliant everyday so I wouldnt have to wait until my 70th birthday

Maybe Pighead needs to work on his brilliance

Captain Slow IRL

On a similiar vein, but I don't think it's worthy of it's own thread - why are people so quick to sing praises for people when they pass away anyway? Everytime someone famous dies, loads of famous people appear saying this generic bullsh1t - "what a tragic loss", etc. No-one comes out (except Michael Parkinson and Bill O'Reilly) and says what a paedophile or poor excuse of a human being the deceased person really was.

What's gonna happen when Gary Glitter kicks it? Are the same celebs gonna be lining up to talk about the good times?!?!

humberklog

Oooh I think it can happen. Immediately Seamus Heaney and Mandella spring to mind. I suppose you're always hoping that Heaney isn't a closet remote control horder and Mandella doesn't take roundabouts in the wrong lane...the dead make safer baskets for the eggs of one's optimistic ego.

sceptre

Pighead wrote: »

One thing that really annoys Pighead is the fact that people are generally going to wait until he's dead before speaking about how brilliant he was.

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dead.

Just in regard to the Pighead persona, we'll just assume you've stopped posting and moved on to greener pastures rather then pastures green.

Pighead

sceptre wrote: »

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dead.

Just in regard to the Pighead persona, we'll just assume you've stopped posting and moved on to greener pastures rather then pastures green.

Pighead's not sure what any of that means but has a feeling you're calling him a dead dog?

At Pighead's "Tribute Day" the people will say "Ah yeah he was a great man and he was always in touch with the common people, never really bothered with the intellectual crowd. Or to put it another way he was as thick as pigshit".

humberklog

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead's not sure what any of that means but has a feeling you're calling him a dead dog?

At Pighead's "Tribute Day" the people will say "Ah yeah he was a great man and he was always in touch with the common people, never really bothered with the intellectual crowd. Or to put it another way he was as thick as pigshit".

Didn't realise the thread was about your own tribute.
But it could go like this
"Pigman...what good can one say that he hasn't said about himself already"

pikachucheeks

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead can. He creates instant wetness.

Ain't no pig that sexy.

Wreck

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead can. He creates instant wetness.

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Ain't no pig that sexy.

He might have meant he makes mouths water at the thought of a lovely sausage.

Pighead

humberklog wrote: »

Didn't realise the thread was about your own tribute.
But it could go like this
"Pigman...what good can one say that he hasn't said about himself already"

It's not bad but Pighead would prefer that people say all the good things again anyway. Maybe they could recite Pighead a poem

Please don't get a bighead,
when we say "We love you Pighead"
we're so very glad you're not dead,
the love for you is widespread.