Please review this email for me

LegacyUser

Hi XXX,

I felt I didn’t leave you on the best of terms with me. I just wanted to say sorry to you for the way I acted towards you that Thursday night. I don’t know why I acted like that and tbh I didn’t know I could act like that. It was such a double standard, considering that that Saturday night I could be found running around XXXX with a traffic cone on the head at two in the morning. You’re a nice, fun and really cute girl, who didn’t deserve that.

The times when we hung out were a lot of fun so I hope it wouldn’t be awkward if we ran into each other or something. Have fun in the future and hopefully I’ll see you around sometime.

XXXX



A bit of background. I went on 4/5 dates with this girl and had a lot of fun. But on a thursday night she asked me to meet up with her friends in a bar for a few drinks. I had work the next morning and she didnt. So i was taking it easy while she was pretty drunk and running around the place. I kinda was left sitting with her mates for most of the night so I kinda felt left out by her. So i got a small bit narky at her about drinking (dont know why cos i was having a good time with her mates at the time). Anyway i walked her out at the end and she hugged me...waiting for a kiss and i felt awkward about the situation i didnt make a move and she just left.

I texted her the next day making jokes about 'Hows the head?'. She apologized to me for being drunk even tho i didnt really care about that and should have probably apologised to her then about my behavour but i wanted to do that in person. I texted her then twice about meeting up in the coming days and she said was busy maybe next week. So two weeks ago i texted her and got no reply, now i feel i have pissed her off and she thinks im a bit of a dryballs/ahole. I had a conversation with her about drinking before and i was a small bit defensive about it saying i wasnt big into it like all Irish people just in case she thought i was a drunken mess or something (she's american).

I like the girl but i dont know if id like to go out with her fulltime so i dont know why i need to write this email but i feel i have to.


So what im asking is: how does this email come off to you, if you were receiving it?

Staph

I think it's a nice email. Fair play for trying to sort it out!

SarahMc

I don't see the point in sending it, and if I were her, I wouldn't see the point in receiving it.

vibrant

Please Review wrote: »

Hi XXX,

We didn't leave on the best of terms the last time we saw each other. I just wanted to say sorry to you for the way I acted towards you that Thursday night.

The times when we hung out were a lot of fun so I hope it wouldn’t be awkward if we ran into each other.

Have fun and I’ll see you around.

XXXX

I've manned it up a bit for you! Phrases like "hopefully I'll see you around sometime" and "you didn't deserve that" are just kind of a bit needy... well, maybe that's not the right word, perhaps wistful - like you're only sending it in the hope she'll agree to see you again.

The way I read it, YOU actually did nothing wrong and you've ended up apologizing to her? She was acting like a twat, you didn't find it attractive and you left.

Anyway good luck to ya!

wylo

I don't see the point in sending it, and if I were her, I wouldn't see the point in receiving it.

+1 , Why are you bothering if you dont want to go out with her? 5 dates isnt much but its enough to start considering whether ye should be going out or not.

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks for the replies.

After reading my post and the replies and being honest with myself i do feel id like to see her again even tho after the last night i saw her she wouldnt be "going out" material for me.

Thanks Vibrant the email defly needed to be manned up a bit. lol


What do people think of the timing? It was 4 weeks since that Thursday night and 2 weeks since she ignored my text. Is it contacting out of the blue and a bit stalkerish since i have never emailed her before with the email she gave me. In a small way i feel it is but im also thinking i have nothing to lose so fcuk it.

LegacyUser

OP, I'm not really sure what you're apologising for?

She got a bit too drunk and left you with her mates a bit too much. So, what did you do that was wrong?

wylo

OP here wrote: »

What do people think of the timing? It was 4 weeks since that Thursday night and 2 weeks since she ignored my text. Is it contacting out of the blue and a bit stalkerish since i have never emailed her before with the email she gave me. In a small way i feel it is but im also thinking i have nothing to lose so fcuk it.

I think youve answered your own question, what have you to lose? Go for it.

Chinafoot

OP here wrote: »

After reading my post and the replies and being honest with myself i do feel id like to see her again even tho after the last night i saw her she wouldnt be "going out" material for me.

Little piece of advice for you....don't ever say that her. She's not "going out" material for you because she got drunk on a night out with her friends, yet you are "going out" material despite running around at 2am with a traffic cone on your head? You're right, MAJOR double standards. Why bother apologising for the double standards of your behaviour when you think like that??

She hasn't contacted you in the two weeks since your last message. Leave the girl alone.

RossFixxxed

Why don't you just call her? Apologise for double standards and see if she wants to go out again. Forget emails or texts. Man up properly on it.

Babooshka

...if she's not going out material for you why are you that bothered?
If you see her again you see her again, I don't see why it should be so important to email her if she's not bothered. Sounds like you are over analysing. Or else you're lying to yourself and you fancy the pants off her.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

Sounds to me like you are concerned about what she thinks of you and you're trying to have what you can't get cos she has ignored you.

You shouldn't send the letter. No point. If a girl ignores you, it's not a good sign. Leave her be. If it's not working out at this early stage, it won't in future.You said yourself you don't see a future with her, so again why bother?

I don't see what you did wrong really, so what are you apologising for? If she thinks you're not "cool" enough cos you didn't want to get hammered, that's her being immature - let her off.

Move on, forget about it.

LegacyUser

OP Here

Thanks for the replies.

I've seen the errors of my ways and I'm not going to bother emailing her or contacting her.

I had a small look in the mirror at myself and relized the only reason i wanted to meet up with her was to escape the boring social life i have at the moment (that and she was hot). So i need to fix that first, before i do anything else.

Had a conversation with a couple of friends and they told me i was way too nice to her. I took her out to dinner and brought her places, replied to all her texts, etc. while she didn't make as much effort. I think the only time she went out of her way for me as after the first date when i knew she wasnt 'going out' material i was kinda reserved in conversation and didnt bother all that much, she texted me the next day about going to the cinema. Because i made it easier for her, she took it for granted that she could leave me sitting with her mates that night and come back over to me whenever she liked and i'd still be there.

I think i phantomed a reason to apologise to her so i could accept the reason she didnt want to meet up anymore.

A girl friend of mine said i need to be a less of a gentleman and more of an ahole, or girls will not find me much of a challenge. I think its a bit sad you have to act that way but i guess it kinda makes sense.

As for not 'going out' material, it had nothing to do her drinking or my drinking habits, it had more to do with personality's not matching and i knew that before that Thursday night.

Thanks guys for the persective, i needed a slap of reality in the face, you live and you learn.

So at the end of the day im going to quote Jay from the Inbetweeners "Plenty more clunge in the sea"

LegacyUser

OP I think you are right not to bother sending this email. It doesn't sounds like you have much to apologise for (unless you are leaving something out). You don't really like her anyway, and she doesn't seem that into you. I wonder if the real reason you wanted to contact her again was more to do with your own ego and not wanting to accept that she wasn't that into you, making up this story of having offended her in your own mind to mentally dodge the fact she wasn't really interested anyway.

Please don't start behaving unpleasantly to women thinking this will get you more success. I am a firm believer that the concept of being 'too nice' is a myth. Women (and men) like people who are nice to them. It is however possible to come across as too needy or desperate, there is nothing as unattractive as a desperate person.

puglover

OP Here Again wrote: »

OP Here

Thanks for the replies.

I've seen the errors of my ways and I'm not going to bother emailing her or contacting her.

I had a small look in the mirror at myself and relized the only reason i wanted to meet up with her was to escape the boring social life i have at the moment (that and she was hot). So i need to fix that first, before i do anything else.

Had a conversation with a couple of friends and they told me i was way too nice to her. I took her out to dinner and brought her places, replied to all her texts, etc. while she didn't make as much effort. I think the only time she went out of her way for me as after the first date when i knew she wasnt 'going out' material i was kinda reserved in conversation and didnt bother all that much, she texted me the next day about going to the cinema. Because i made it easier for her, she took it for granted that she could leave me sitting with her mates that night and come back over to me whenever she liked and i'd still be there.

I think i phantomed a reason to apologise to her so i could accept the reason she didnt want to meet up anymore.

A girl friend of mine said i need to be a less of a gentleman and more of an ahole, or girls will not find me much of a challenge. I think its a bit sad you have to act that way but i guess it kinda makes sense.

As for not 'going out' material, it had nothing to do her drinking or my drinking habits, it had more to do with personality's not matching and i knew that before that Thursday night.

Thanks guys for the persective, i needed a slap of reality in the face, you live and you learn.

So at the end of the day im going to quote Jay from the Inbetweeners "Plenty more clunge in the sea"

Bit I've bolded there is bad advice.

TBH I can see why she didn't want to see you anymore. You sound a bit hippocritical and needy. So maybe you should work on fixing those things instead of being more of an a**hole

LegacyUser

OP here.

Ok, ahole might be too strong a word but i got what she ment. I dont think id be able to change who i am and going around being ahole but I was most defly needy and i understand its something to work on.

Yes i do agree my ego was part of it and it has taken a brusing!

Hypocritical? maybe. But i dont think that alcohol was a major issue here.