Life in absolute ruins - Need advice

cesarbart

I had a relationship for abotu 3 years, i was unhappy in it and so was she btu now ive started to work on my own issues and i still love her and she loves me but she wont get back with me after breakign it off in fear of going through the same thing again. Never cheated or anything. Just controlling issues and stuff. I've worked on my stuff now which is great but she shows no internest right now in reuniting as it were.

Recently, my car broke down and i live in country, the car is right off, im stuck in country side, lost job, no money, cant get rent allowance as im fighting with HSE over cohabiting(dont ask), the only hobbie i liked an dkept for years is Training my dogs and without car cant do that anymore after makign so much progress, 4 college exams on monday and havent studied because i cant disicpline myself and depressed over broken heart. no life now and feel absolute ****ty all the time, wake up late, fed up with dogs that were my life.


thanks sorry about length but would love your help and advice on how to cope and i mean cope.:(

Lucyx

Ok theres a few things there cesarbart but in relation to your girl, I think you have to earn her trust again cos its so awful when someone breaks your heart. If I got back with my ex, I know I'd be terrified that he'd just feck off and leave me again so I think you should work on the friendship with her first. You both love each other (which is fantastic) so I think you need to give it time and work on it together and things should fall back into place in a matter of time when you guys feel good being together.

Are you still looking after your dogs properly cos I don't like you saying that you're fed up with them. Its not their fault that your car is a write off. Could you even get a lift or borrow someones car to continue with their training?

Regarding the exams, you can't help now that these things have happened so can you do the exams again at the end of the year or whats the story there? Only you can get your sh1t together so that you can have a better life. Think of it this way, things can only get better for you cos they are quite bad now.

I'm in the sh1t too: breakup back in May, no job and back living with my dad. I've never had it this bad but I just keep thinking that its not forever (please God!!) and I'm doing everything I can to push on and make things better. Its tough but you have to try to get your head together and try to focus on one task at a time. I do understand how you're feeling.

Good luck to you.

cesarbart

Hey, thanks for posting especially so rapidly and thoroughly. Didnt think im in thsi with anyone else, goes to show that alot of people are in the same boat. Really love the trust advice and girl advice despite it being hard.

In relation to my dogs, i love them with my heart and soul and would never let anythign happen to them, they're as happy as larry around the house and outside but i just feel depressed alot so im nowhere as fun and exciting as ive always been with them, and i mean i am always fun and energised with them. They are not suffering in anyway except that im not in my normal fun self. There still very happy alright though.

I cannot train anymore since ive no car and i cant even borrow or buy a car. I suppose ill have to see what happens.


Really appreciate your words and help. Means a lot. thank you


also she broke it off with myself but before that i broek it off 3 times but always ran back.

VaioCruiser

cesarbart wrote: »

I had a relationship for abotu 3 years, i was unhappy in it and so was she btu now ive started to work on my own issues and i still love her and she loves me but she wont get back with me after breakign it off in fear of going through the same thing again. Never cheated or anything. Just controlling issues and stuff. I've worked on my stuff now which is great but she shows no internest right now in reuniting as it were.

Recently, my car broke down and i live in country, the car is right off, im stuck in country side, lost job, no money, cant get rent allowance as im fighting with HSE over cohabiting(dont ask), the only hobbie i liked an dkept for years is Training my dogs and without car cant do that anymore after makign so much progress, 4 college exams on monday and havent studied because i cant disicpline myself and depressed over broken heart. no life now and feel absolute ****ty all the time, wake up late, fed up with dogs that were my life.


thanks sorry about length but would love your help and advice on how to cope and i mean cope.:(

Hi OP - I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.

I really think you need to focus on getting yourself sorted out before you can ever deal with a girlfriend and dragging her into your challenges.

Your college education is your escape route - but you have not bothered to study ? Don't blame your girlfriend for not coming back to you. You need to take responsibility for your own actions and inactions, and get a grip on YOUR life.

What will happen if you fail your exams ? will things get better ? I doubt it.

If you want to impress your GF, then do what needs to be done and get your exams and qualifications and start on a road to recovery. THAT will impress her more than any words you say or promises you make.

All the best.

cesarbart

thanks a million. Good points. Just when i thought it wouldnt get any worse, our house mate is moving out, so ive to find a new place with 2 dogs, in city because no car and we wont be near each other anymore. great stuff.

vibrant

You mentioned that you live in a rural area, is there a local message board for your community? Perhaps you could put an ad on to help you look for a new place... hell, even putting an ad in your nearest big supermarket could sort this out for you. Get the word out that you are looking for a new place, can you text 10 people over the weekend asking them to keep an ear out for you?

Everyone copes with these rough patches in different ways... don't go down the smoking/drinking route as it's counterproductive! Sometimes just switching off the phone and going for a walk can help, or just getting rid of the stress by blasting out your music! By the sounds of things you have 2 great dogs, get out with them and some dog toys and treats and enjoy their company, they will love the attention and will probably lift your mood if you are running around with them!