Marriage - Why do it?

LadyJ

Just wanted to throw a quick question out to everyone.....

If you're not religious and you're not particularly arsed about the tax breaks, why would you get married?

I know for the men, you might be thinking about your rights as a father if you were to have kids so let's count that as one reason. Common law marriage (ie. co-habitation) can be somewhat legally binding anyway with regard to equity I think so it's not totally essential to be married for that kind of thing I suppose.

Anyway, what I'm getting at (albeit, not too coherently) is: do you see a point in marriage purely for the sake of love? What does it mean when you take away all of the religion/legal rights etc? Do you see a point? If so, what is it?

alabamawhurley

I see both sides really.

I'm not religious, never wanted the "big day" (& didnt have it)& we have no kids.

But for some reason I did want to get married. So we did & I have to say we feel a lot "tighter" in our relationship.

I'm sure it's the novelty to a point (been about a year) & I'm sure it will wear off but we just feel I suppose an achievement that after a very long sometimes very hard road here we are & we're comitted to eachother.

It's different to when we were just living together. I still cant really put my finger on whats actually different but we're a lot happier.

Each to their own I suppose.

ChocolateSauce

I see marriage as an antiquated ritual.

I don't feel the need to use marriage to prop up my relationship- it is doing just fine on its own. Indeed I see marriage as a buttress to a healthy relationship: you're saying "I haven't got enough confidence in our relationship to trust it to last on its own, lets lock ourselves in with this".

I can appreciate that not everyone feels this way, but it's how I see it with regards to me. I would consider a civil union as a lesser option for the legal recognition (tax breaks, here I come!).

I would probably get married if I had children, but again for the legal reasons only. I don't think marriage is needed for a healthy family.

Poutbutton

The first word that springs to mind is "Ownership"...but other than the tradition of it all and usual reasons like coming before God or the Law and society to declare your love for someone, I dont see the point either. I do respect anyone who goes for it & sticks it out though
I guess if one partner is more influential over the other and convinces them that mariage is the bee all and end all of life then perhaps thats why a lot of people do it. Also, the societal & familial pressure must weaken those who would prefer to just co-habit or in some cases: not even that! If you get married, it's far more difficult to leave...it's almost agreeing to be "stuck" with someone you find out a few years or even months down the road that you dont want to be with anymore :eek: I've never married, I've turned down 2 proposals just because I knew they were'nt lifetime material for me. I love my freedom. I love partnership too. I've seen many couples, MANY, cheat on each other. Marriage is meant to mean fidelity, I think a lot of people have trouble with this aspect.
I'm not totally against it, never say never! But all the same, however lovely and securing it may make some people feel I dont see an absolute need for it. It's an institution afterall so it has it's good functions and it's bad. I do feel for those that get all caught up in the Wedding rather than thinking about the actual marriage, you see girls rushing in & getting all tied up in knots,{excuse the pun} about the dress, the flowers, matching frilly things with the grooms tie etc etc or guys who might have been turned down before and have a mission to get married and really they have''nt spent much time thinking "Do I really want to spend the rest of my LIFE with this person", Marriage to some IS a life sentance LOL What's your own feeling on it?
Mine:Horses for Courses!

LadyJ

Poutbutton wrote: »

What's your own feeling on it?

I don't really know, tbh. I guess I like the idea of standing up in front of the people closest to you and making a committment to the person you love. I think it shows a sort of solidarity.

I don't like the idea that people "need" marriage as "proof" of their love or that it's out of insecurity just because they get married without any real reason (by this I mean religion, kids, tax etc.) though I'm sure for some people insecurity is the case.

I just think it strengthens ties and bonds in a way. I'm not saying that people can't practically be family without it but I guess, personally, I would feel more like family if I was married to someone....

I dunno...it's all a bit confusing. In a way, I suppose I just think it's nice. I don't think that the person who marries someone loves that person any more than the person who just stays in a long-term relationship. I guess I just like the idea of celebrating that union. However, I don't mean to say that the wedding is more important than the marriage......

Reason I'm posting is to get a clearer opinion for myself from reading others' opinions. As you can see, mine is pretty malformed.

Ickle Magoo

We just wanted to married - I can't really explain why. I wanted him to be my husband and I his wife. We lived together for 4rs or so and we just wanted to be Mr & Mrs, I can cite all the old clichés about wanting to declare our relationship officially in front of friends & family, tax reasons, kids, next of kin rights - there are actually very few countries that officially recognise "common-law" spouse, etc but there is much more to it that that.

It's about creating an official family unit together, sealing a relationship with the ultimate in declarations to each other, it's saying we can't walk away from this now even when the going gets tough. It's about knowing he's my husband and I'm his wife & loving that title, it's about a partnership recognised in any country, its, its, not something that is very easy to define.

On a practical level, legalities aside, it is completely pointless. I'm sure there are plenty of legal documents which can be signed to cover everything marriage does - and yet it's just not quite the same thing, either.

Tricity Bendix

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

I don't feel the need to use marriage to prop up my relationship- it is doing just fine on its own. Indeed I see marriage as a buttress to a healthy relationship: you're saying "I haven't got enough confidence in our relationship to trust it to last on its own, lets lock ourselves in with this".

Why, then, do you think marriage is still so common in societies where it can be dissolved easily and frequently? If it lacks the "locked in" aspect, why is it still so popular? Is it just out of habit?

Its a pity that threads get archived/deleted so quickly here. There have been some great threads covering this in the last few months.

Goduznt Xzst

Why not?

I mean when I argue with my OH I buy her flowers. But that's pointless right? I mean the flowers will wilt and die and anyway, I said I'm sorry so why get her the flowers. Wasted money when words accomplish the same thing.

At Christmas, I mean why buy someone presents, just show up and say "missed you, it's good to see you again"... the present really isn't needed, it will lose its value, probably have little use and is a wasted expense.

Sure my friend accomplished something that means something to him in his life, but a party is pointless. I should just tell him "well done" and then be done with it. Saves me money, time and the effort and for what? He knows he did well and I let him know I think so also, so that's all that should be needed right?

....

Sometimes humans like to celebrate things, and also to symbolize them openly and to each other. Love is a pretty powerful emotion so it would follow that the celebration and symbolizing of this emotion shared between 2 people would be proportionally important.

MiCr0

klaz - i doubt that thread is gone anywhere

this one?
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055517201

ChocolateSauce

Tricity Bendix wrote: »

Why, then, do you think marriage is still so common in societies where it can be dissolved easily and frequently? If it lacks the "locked in" aspect, why is it still so popular? Is it just out of habit?

Cultural reasons, religious reasons, etc? I wouldn't presume to tell others what they should think about a personal decision like this. To view marriage like I do takes a certain level of what might be termed "cold logic", and also a sceptical view on the importance of tradition and cultural norms.

Joey the lips

LadyJ wrote: »

Just wanted to throw a quick question out to everyone.....

If you're not religious and you're not particularly arsed about the tax breaks, why would you get married?

I know for the men, you might be thinking about your rights as a father if you were to have kids so let's count that as one reason. Common law marriage (ie. co-habitation) can be somewhat legally binding anyway with regard to equity I think so it's not totally essential to be married for that kind of thing I suppose.

Anyway, what I'm getting at (albeit, not too coherently) is: do you see a point in marriage purely for the sake of love? What does it mean when you take away all of the religion/legal rights etc? Do you see a point? If so, what is it?

Very interesting. The problem is I am religious. I am not arsed about tax though.

As for men, a good friend of mine was with his o/h 10 years they have a child 6 years. They broke up. All the usual problems visits, custody. His solicitor said it would have been much easier if they were married.

I imagine a kind of contract like a pre nupt would need to be done if your not married.

However I think if the truth be known no man cares about marriage so to speak. I would not have cared but having said that if my wife thinks it a good way to prove i love her then what the hell. you get loads of pressies though.

Babooshka

I like the idea of marriage. Not for tax breaks or legal reasons. For the idea of a "union", temporary and all as it may be. I think it's a human desire to merge with one another for a significant period however long it is, or at least is for some people.

The old saying "we come into the world alone and we die alone"... I think most people spend their adult life struggling with independence and trying to reconcile themselves to bonding with others as they're conflicting emotions and yet both are necessary. A strong feeling of security can come from having that union with one other person who in theory will put your wellbeing on the same level as, if not at times, above, their own. To me that is what marriage means, the strength of the power of two as opposed to just one, for however long it may last.

Poutbutton

Just thought I'd add that in Ireland, pre-nups are'nt worth the paper they're written on. They can be "taken into consideration" by the judge but they have no legal standing here as yet.

philologos

LadyJ: Leaving aside my understanding of a man and a woman being joined together as one under God. I think marriage still has great value.

I think making clear commitments to eachother in a relationship is a sign of how seriously you want to be married. I also think promises to be together until you part, and promises to remain faithful are important. Especially in a society which isn't regarding faithfulness, or commitment as a permanent thing as being important any more.

Marriage also encourages deep family connections between the bride and the grooms family. It's a family event for a large part. It really depends on how much you value the family in this respect of my argument for marriage. If one doesn't see family as important it is less likely that this part of the ceremony will be appealing. If one does however, then this certainly is an argument that bolsters your position.

Marriage encourages a life long memory of ones love and trust in one another to be laid down. I.E It can serve as a foundation for a life long relationship.

Just on the tax thing. I would have to ask, why if both of you are hard workers for the State, would you not be interested in receiving the tax benefits that you truly deserve?

I realise my views may seem "antiquidated" to others, but I think marriage is so important to our society it would be a right shame to see it dismissed as a cultural norm within our society.

PANADOL

Jakkass wrote: »

LadyJ: Leaving aside my understanding of a man and a woman being joined together as one under God. I think marriage still has great value.

I think making clear commitments to eachother in a relationship is a sign of how seriously you want to be married. I also think promises to be together until you part, and promises to remain faithful are important. Especially in a society which isn't regarding faithfulness, or commitment as a permanent thing as being important any more.

Marriage also encourages deep family connections between the bride and the grooms family. It's a family event for a large part. It really depends on how much you value the family in this respect of my argument for marriage. If one doesn't see family as important it is less likely that this part of the ceremony will be appealing. If one does however, then this certainly is an argument that bolsters your position.

Marriage encourages a life long memory of ones love and trust in one another to be laid down. I.E It can serve as a foundation for a life long relationship.

Just on the tax thing. I would have to ask, why if both of you are hard workers for the State, would you not be interested in receiving the tax benefits that you truly deserve?

I realise my views may seem "antiquidated" to others, but I think marriage is so important to our society it would be a right shame to see it dismissed as a cultural norm within our society.

This is without exception one of the greatest load of bollox i have read here on marriage , the point of marriage is there is no point all it is a legal document in effect an insurance policy against things not working out you get your money, religion god completely irelavant , talk to any barrister he will tell you the amount of men in this country under the thumbs of their wifes all she has to say is things didnt work out she takes half his wealth because of a piece of paper wake up live in the real world stop being so naieve , maybe your v young and realise this not a country with christian values , but a dark legal system if you love someone you dont have to marry them unless you live in a tower block in ballymun not for the middle classes

dvpower

I'm with Jakkass on this. I think that a commitment made publicly in front of family and friends can be very positive.

Joey the lips

Cause i love my wife she loves me and not in a particularly heavy way we both love god! Why else do you think we'd spend 15k on a night out!

The sex is good but its not that good!


ps: i do think without realising it that you have hit something else though. The world is looseing all its morals and while i could not really care cause i have not i think it leaves those who have empty. I wake up every day and i give thanks. I give thanks for the simple things(No not me) I give thanks for my life i give thanks for my kids then i turn over see the fine looking thing next to me and reaslise there is a god and thank god she married me!

PANADOL

with respect i see what you are saying and i think what you have is beautiful , but in fairness its hard not to be cynical . i just dont know why you have to marry except if you are religious , and it is a very personal thing something i must admit makes no scence to me if history and science are to be considered . To me in a country were pre nups are not recognised its an impossible equation to solve. another thing to say about it couples that never attend mass etc suddenly turn up in front of a priest to be married now thats insane , I could never trust anyone that much too much of a gamble in todays world were women have become impossible and are all about their rights when things go wrong if you take the vows literally till death do us part its a long time. Anyone of moderate wealth is walking on a knife edge talk to anyone involved in family law as all cases are in camera and you get a picture of whats going on , on the other hand if you have nothing , you cant lose anything .However true love is a beautiful thing i wont deny, for me its more appropriate to gather on a beach or hillside and declare my love in front of the sun with family and friends in toe quote=Joey the lips;61854987]Cause i love my wife she loves me and not in a particularly heavy way we both love god! Why else do you think we'd spend 15k on a night out!

The sex is good but its not that good!


ps: i do think without realising it that you have hit something else though. The world is looseing all its morals and while i could not really care cause i have not i think it leaves those who have empty. I wake up every day and i give thanks. I give thanks for the simple things(No not me) I give thanks for my life i give thanks for my kids then i turn over see the fine looking thing next to me and reaslise there is a god and thank god she married me![/quote]

philologos

PANADOL wrote: »

This is without exception one of the greatest load of bollox i have read here on marriage

It depends on how you view relationships or love I guess. If you are a skeptical of the latter, it is no doubt that you will disagree strongly with my views of marriage.

PANADOL wrote: »

the point of marriage is there is no point all it is a legal document in effect an insurance policy against things not working out you get your money

Marriage has some gravity to it, it has some kind of resolve to it, when you say those words "I do" it is a binding agreement you have made with another person. You aim to fulfil the terms of your marriage to the best of your ability.

PANADOL wrote: »

religion god completely irelavant

To whom? If you believe in God you certainly would want Him to be a part of your relationship to strengthen it.

PANADOL wrote: »

talk to any barrister he will tell you the amount of men in this country under the thumbs of their wifes all she has to say is things didnt work out she takes half his wealth because of a piece of paper wake up live in the real world stop being so naieve

This is based on the view that every marriage is destined to fail. It might be true that many fail, but it is evidenced that many do not.

PANADOL wrote: »

maybe your v young and realise this not a country with christian values

I'm a person with Christian values, whether or not this country is is irrelevant to me.

PANADOL wrote: »

but a dark legal system if you love someone you dont have to marry them unless you live in a tower block in ballymun not for the middle classes

Yes, but marriage has it's positives. That is my point.

Ickle Magoo

Jakkass wrote: »

Marriage also encourages deep family connections between the bride and the grooms family.

Eh, I'd have to dispute that - based on the numbers of families who clearly do not get along regardless of a marriage between them.

I think you're views on marriage and love are very sweet & I hope you don't ever get an in-law like my sisters mother-in-law to make you all cynical.

stovelid

In Ireland, to increase a Father's rights from non-existent to paltry. This to me is the key factor. Sad but true.

Also tax and inheritance.

I'm one of those people who sees both sides: it's an unthinking thing for many people which can be wrong. It doesn't confer a superior relationship. That said, there is something fundamental and nice about the ritual, even when you take out all the religion (I'm vehemently non-religious personally) and Bridezilla pollution. It's not for everyone though.

philologos

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Eh, I'd have to dispute that - based on the numbers of families who clearly do not get along regardless of a marriage between them.

I think you're views on marriage and love are very sweet & I hope you don't ever get an in-law like my sisters mother-in-law to make you all cynical.

I said encourages, whether or not this good will comes into fruition depends on who is involved

But yes, I see your point.

PANADOL

Jakkass wrote: »

It depends on how you view relationships or love I guess. If you are a skeptical of the latter, it is no doubt that you will disagree strongly with my views of marriage.



Marriage has some gravity to it, it has some kind of resolve to it, when you say those words "I do" it is a binding agreement you have made with another person. You aim to fulfil the terms of your marriage to the best of your ability.



To whom? If you believe in God you certainly would want Him to be a part of your relationship to strengthen it.



This is based on the view that every marriage is destined to fail. It might be true that many fail, but it is evidenced that many do not.



I'm a person with Christian values, whether or not this country is is irrelevant to me.


Yes, but marriage has it's positives. That is my point.

Nobody is arguing that marriage does not have its positives my point being yes but whats the cost ?marriage without kids is pointless better off having a few kids first then you might as well get married , the concept of marriage belongs in 1960s ireland

philologos

PANADOL wrote: »

Nobody is arguing that marriage does not have its positives my point being yes but whats the cost ?marriage without kids is pointless better off having a few kids first then you might as well get married , the concept of marriage belongs in 1960s ireland

The rate of marriage in Ireland in 2007 is much higher in Ireland than in the 1990's and only slightly lower than it was in the 1950's.
http://www.cso.ie/statistics/bthsdthsmarriages.htm

CathyMoran

PANADOL wrote: »

Nobody is arguing that marriage does not have its positives my point being yes but whats the cost ?marriage without kids is pointless better off having a few kids first then you might as well get married , the concept of marriage belongs in 1960s ireland

What about the concept of lifetime companionship and love? My husband and I married when I was very ill and we did not know if we could have children.

Sleepy

TBH, I'd imagine most men get married for the same reason we do most things for women: for a quiet life that doesn't exclude the possibility of regular sex...

rainbow kirby

To me, the purpose is to make a lifelong commitment to your partner, basically publicly stating "I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives". Whether you're talking religious or civil marriage, there's something quite meaningful there that can help to strengthen the union.

PANADOL

rainbow kirby wrote: »

To me, the purpose is to make a lifelong commitment to your partner, basically publicly stating "I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives". Whether you're talking religious or civil marriage, there's something quite meaningful there that can help to strengthen the union.

complete nonsence you remind me of my religion teacher in school 20 years ago you must be very young , stop being so naieve

philologos

PANADOL: Where is the evidence to back up your assertion that marriage is antiquidated? Marriage is about as popular as it ever was according to the statistics.

b3t4

Outside of all the practicalities, I think marriage is good as it forces you to answer the question "Am I intending on spending the rest of my life with this person?"

It forces you to stand back, take a look and see what you have, what you don't have, what you want and what you don't want.

PANADOL

Jakkass wrote: »

The rate of marriage in Ireland in 2007 is much higher in Ireland than in the 1990's and only slightly lower than it was in the 1950's.
http://www.cso.ie/statistics/bthsdthsmarriages.htm

yes marriage is now a fashion not to mention the bridzella element

PANADOL

b3t4 wrote: »

Outside of all the practicalities, I think marriage is good as it forces you to answer the question "Am I intending on spending the rest of my life with this person?"

It forces you to stand back, take a look and see what you have, what you don't have, what you want and what you don't want.

yes it forces you to stand back an realise after this marriage iam automatically forced to surrender half my wealth over if this does not work out pre nups are not legal in this country , insane so you see you cant take the hippie view of sweetness and light unless you both are poor have nothing cant loose anything:eek:

philologos

PANADOL wrote: »

yes it forces you to stand back an realise after this marriage iam automatically forced to surrender half my wealth over if this does not work out pre nups are not legal in this country , insane so you see you cant take the hippie view of sweetness and light unless you both are poor have nothing cant loose anything:eek:

This assumes that every marriage or even most are bound to fail. Divorce rates in Ireland are also rather low in comparison to other countries from statistics.

CathyMoran

PANADOL wrote: »

yes it forces you to stand back an realise after this marriage iam automatically forced to surrender half my wealth over if this does not work out pre nups are not legal in this country , insane so you see you cant take the hippie view of sweetness and light unless you both are poor have nothing cant loose anything:eek:

Sometimes you just know, I trust my husband totally.

Ickle Magoo

PANADOL wrote: »

yes it forces you to stand back an realise after this marriage iam automatically forced to surrender half my wealth over if this does not work out pre nups are not legal in this country , insane so you see you cant take the hippie view of sweetness and light unless you both are poor have nothing cant loose anything:eek:

Or you could take a chance/work hard on being in the still considerable majority of marriages that don't end in divorce?

PANADOL

Jakkass wrote: »

This assumes that every marriage or even most are bound to fail. Divorce rates in Ireland are also rather low in comparison to other countries from statistics.

Stats aside the possibility is there , if prenups were legal in this country yes take a chance its the only way i can look at it otherwise illogical

Goduznt Xzst

PANADOL wrote: »

yes it forces you to stand back an realise after this marriage iam automatically forced to surrender half my wealth over if this does not work out pre nups are not legal in this country , insane so you see you cant take the hippie view of sweetness and light unless you both are poor have nothing cant loose anything:eek:

Ah... so instead of marrying the woman you love you'd choose to marry Capitalism. Good luck with that. I hear she's very hard to satisfy in bed, and her constant nagging that you just aren't good enough will lead you to feel very unfulfilled.

PANADOL

Goduznt Xzst wrote: »

Ah... so instead of marrying the woman you love you'd choose to marry Capitalism. Good luck with that. I hear she's very hard to satisfy in bed, and her constant nagging that you just aren't good enough will lead you to feel very unfulfilled.

your obviously poor

The Corinthian

Jakkass wrote: »

I realise my views may seem "antiquidated" to others, but I think marriage is so important to our society it would be a right shame to see it dismissed as a cultural norm within our society.

Oh dear. As touching as the arguments of commitment and bringing families together, yadda-yadda, are, the reality of modern marraige is that it is a temporaty affair as we have divorce. Of course, you may disagree with divorce on principle and may even stick to those principles, but that's not how divorce works.

So, I would agree that your views are "antiquated", but only because you are talking about a legal and social definition of marriage that vanished a while ago.

Just on the tax thing. I would have to ask, why if both of you are hard workers for the State, would you not be interested in receiving the tax benefits that you truly deserve?

Think of forgoing those tax brakes as a form of spousal maintenance insurance.

philologos

The Corinthian wrote: »

Oh dear. As touching as the arguments of commitment and bringing families together, yadda-yadda, are, the reality of modern marraige is that it is a temporaty affair as we have divorce. Of course, you may disagree with divorce on principle and may even stick to those principles, but that's not how divorce works.

The vast majority of marriages are a temporary affair?

I'm not sure I agree with you at all considering that the divorce rate is about 18%. Most marriages do work out.

The Corinthian wrote: »

So, I would agree that your views are "antiquated", but only because you are talking about a legal and social definition of marriage that vanished a while ago.

According to whom?

The Corinthian

Jakkass wrote: »

The vast majority of marriages are a temporary affair?

I never said that. I said that marriage is temporary - it is no longer an insoluble bond onto death. You are harking to an institution that is no longer what it used to be. You might never want to get divorced, but tough - if your spouse does, there's nought you can do about it.

According to whom?

The law. It's called no-fault divorce.

stovelid

PANADOL wrote: »

your obviously poor

We cant all be heirs to a painkiller fortune.

tundra

do you see a point in marriage purely for the sake of love?

Yes. Marriage involves an expression of commitment and has I think more to offer than many other alternatives which can leave one or both of the partners high and dry on what may be nothing more than a passing whim. Sure it may not be the perfect institution but it can be made to work and when it does it has a lot to offer not least for the bringing up of children.

Sleepy

Jakkass wrote: »

Divorce rates in Ireland are also rather low in comparison to other countries from statistics.

While I'd imagine the majority of marriages in Ireland aren't failing, any statistics are going to be skewed by the still relatively recent introduction of divorce in Ireland, the lead in time for the stigma surrounding divorce to be eroded by time and the Irish implementation of divorce law which requires a fairly prolonged period of 'separation' before a divorce will be granted...

CathyMoran

I think that for most people there is a huge fear of marriage failure understandably but if you are with the right person it is the best thing in the world.

The Corinthian

tundra wrote: »

Yes. Marriage involves an expression of commitment and has I think more to offer than many other alternatives which can leave one or both of the partners high and dry on what may be nothing more than a passing whim. Sure it may not be the perfect institution but it can be made to work and when it does it has a lot to offer not least for the bringing up of children.

Unfortunately the way modern divorce works in law is that the person who is financially better off and/or male will tend to be left "high and dry". So really not getting married is equally an expression of commitment by your logic.

Joey the lips

TBH i have already answered this thread in my typical fashion but if i dig deep down I need to ask would I marry again if this relationship finished?

No!

Why not?

Because aside from the religious aspect there is no reason in my mind to marry again and although i am religious I dont think i would bother! Now that i have my kids i think the 15 - 20k would be better spent on them. TBH

CaoimheX

CathyMoran wrote: »

I think that for most people there is a huge fear of marriage failure understandably but if you are with the right person it is the best thing in the world.

I agree about the fear of failure, I mean there is so much to lose, children, financial. Another sad fact is that many unhappy couples stay together for the above reasons. I nearly did it myself (glad now I didn't)
It would have to be someone really special to change my views

Ashlinggnilsia

For me i think its about showing that, that other person is more special and more important than anyone else in the world to the other. Its not about a big do, I personally would spend the money on a deposit for a house or something, think weddings are way to overpriced these days but shur each to their own. I dont want to get married in a church, dont really care where just not a church and not by a priest. Religious stuff freakes me out! Would want alot of people their either. All i want for "the big day" if it ever happens is a pretty dress, sunshine and to be happy. Main reason for the pretty dress is because well the only times ive worn a like ball gown dress was my communion and debs... debs dress was everything i said i didnt want! ha ha! I just want an excuse to wear a pretty dress too and that would be a good one! But in relation to being married itself I just think it shows what ye are to eachother. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend when your a teenager i dont want one for the rest of my life i would like a husband. I think it also shows progression in a relationship.

Well i know for definite that myself and the boyfriend dont agree on marriage in the same way. I do want to get married (at some stage) he doesnt see the point but I would not agree to marry him unless it was something he wanted too! I would hate if the only reason he proposed was to make me happy... because it wouldn't! I would want him to want it to! Whether that will happen who knows! But im in no rush now!

I think marriage means different things to each person. Like i would see it as a statement that the reason the other proposed was to show how much they loved the other .... actions speak louder then words i spose! Like if you were told for a month or two that you were loved but no love was shown you wouldnt believe the person! Thats my two cents !

The Corinthian

Ashlinggnilsia wrote: »

But in relation to being married itself I just think it shows what ye are to eachother. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend when your a teenager i dont want one for the rest of my life i would like a husband. I think it also shows progression in a relationship.

The problem is that the progression does not necessarily end there and can 'progress' to the stage of divorce, where typically (due to legal bias and social convention) the man will end up in indentured servitude for the rest of his life.

Of course, in Ireland the chances of a divorce occurring are in the minority - around 18%, I believe - which is ironically roughly the same probability of losing a game of Russian Roulette.

Well i know for definite that myself and the boyfriend dont agree on marriage in the same way. I do want to get married (at some stage) he doesnt see the point but I would not agree to marry him unless it was something he wanted too!

It's called the marriage strike. Get used to it.