Double standards

useful_contacts

Ok i have 2 friends -

A. 23 female- ive known her since i was 15.

B. 24 female , known her about a year and a half.

They both hate each other because friend B dated friend As bf for a few months about 8 years ago

Friend A thinks friend B is a slapper who still wants her bf

friend B hates friend A because she attacked her in a pub because she thought she "still wanted" her bf

God this all sounds like a 15 year olds squabble

Anyhoo Friend B recently left her abusive bf of 5 years for another guy she had fallen for. Hes a lovely guy and they are v happy. But keeping it quite ATM as its only been a few months.

So friend A saw friend B and this guy out in the pub and basically started asking me stuff , were they together etc, was she finished with the bf etc etc. Now this girl (friend A) is v private. I told a friend of ours that we BOTH knew 15 years that she was pregnant and she ATE ME. So she doesnt want people knowing her business, but wants me to spill every detail about my friends business.

I ate her and called her a hypricote, said "if i couldnt tell a friend of ours you were preg then why the hell do you think id tell you my other friends business "

And she basically threw a hissy fit and said if i didnt tell her she would never speak to me again.

I just dont get these double standards!!!

useful_contacts

any advice?

kjl

well, just dont say anything in future.

You're mate will get over it, but its things like this that get you in trouble.

useful_contacts

kjl wrote: »

well, just dont say anything in future.

You're mate will get over it, but its things like this that get you in trouble.

I didnt say anything- thats why shes mad because i wont tell her my friends business

THINGS LIKE WHAT?

Chucky the tree

Stop hanging around with muppets? Why you want to hangout with people who try and blackmail you is beyond me.

martdalto

It's all very childish to be honest.
You shouldn't have told anyone else that your friend was pregnant. You said yourself she's very private, and as a mother of 3, I can say with some authority, announcing a pregnancy is a very personal thing.

You had no business telling her news.

Just as you now have no business telling your others friends news.

These 2 girls don't like each other. So friend A just wants to have a bit of gossip on friend B.

If you want to keep both their friendships, then you have to keep them both seperate. If you're not bothered and are getting sick of all the childishness, and game playing, then you need to cut one out (The one that causes you the most hassle!! Regardless of how long you have been friends!)

15 year old friends should not be the same people by the time they are 23. If they haven't moved on and grown up... maybe it's time for you to move on?

kjl

useful_contacts wrote: »

I didnt say anything- thats why shes mad because i wont tell her my friends business

THINGS LIKE WHAT?

sorry, i mis read your post.

useful_contacts

martdalto wrote: »

It's all very childish to be honest.
You shouldn't have told anyone else that your friend was pregnant. You said yourself she's very private, and as a mother of 3, I can say with some authority, announcing a pregnancy is a very personal thing.
You had no business telling her news.

For the record i didnt announce her pregnancy.She was 4 months gone and had a bump (shes stick thin normally) and a friend asked was she sick and i said no that it was cos of the pregnancy(assumed she knew since her and my mate were great friends) but turns out she had not and i got ate (funny since she announced on bebo a month earlier she was pregnant!) but when i tell a close friend i get the head bitten off me

The Recliner

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Stop hanging around with muppets? Why you want to hangout with people who try and blackmail you is beyond me.

Chucky we don't really approve of using pictures in posts here. This is a forum for grown ups, use your words

martdalto

For the record i didnt announce her pregnancy.She was 4 months gone and had a bump (shes stick thin normally) and a friend asked was she sick and i said no that it was cos of the pregnancy(assumed she knew since her and my mate were great friends) but turns out she had not and i got ate (funny since she announced on bebo a month earlier she was pregnant!) but when i tell a close friend i get the head bitten off me

Fair enough, I still think the whole situation seems very childish.

If she's 4 months gone you could blame hormones, and go easy on her! Only you know if the friendship is worth pursuing, or if it has just run it's course and it's time to move on.

Taltos

useful_contacts wrote: »

Friend A thinks friend B is a slapper who still wants her bf
friend B hates friend A because she attacked her in a pub because she thought she "still wanted" her bf

friend A saw friend B and this guy out in the pub and basically started asking me stuff
...
And she basically threw a hissy fit and said if i didnt tell her she would never speak to me again.

I just dont get these double standards!!!

I just don't get why you are hanging around with someone like this?
> Opinionated
> Violent
> Nosey
> Bitchy
> Threatening - ultimatums

I think you need to do some soul searching here.
Either accept her as all of the above and live with her outbursts etc
OR
Distance yourself asap from this so called friend.

She obviously cares alot for your friendship if she is going to stop talking to you for not spilling the beans...

Trixielicious

Taltos wrote: »

She obviously cares alot for your friendship if she is going to stop talking to you for not spilling the beans...

I completely agree, if she was any sort of friend and really respected privacy she wouldn't have put you in this situation by asking questions that are none of her business. Whether or not she likes your other friend is irrelevant, she should still respect this girl's right to privacy.

IMO she is a complete hypocrite and had no right demanding you tell her or else. Sorry not even 15yr olds would act like that. That is something a 5yr old would do.

Cut your losses, nobody needs friends like that!!!!

d'Oracle

Taltos wrote: »

I just don't get why you are hanging around with someone like this?
> Opinionated
> Violent
> Nosey
> Bitchy
> Threatening - ultimatums

Abusive mate?

Dancor

Friend A sounds like a complete nutjob TBH.

redfacedbear

Yep, friend A sounds like a headwrecker to me too. It can be very hard to face up to the fact that somebody you've known for years isn't a nice person but sometimes that's all there is to be said.

I'd be inclined to let her off on her hissy fit and be done with her.