Wedding Gift Request!!

MWK1811

What's the general opinion out there regarding (written) preference by Bride&Groom for cash presents?? & how to word it..has anyone added it to the bottom of their invitation?

TBH Haven't the space to keep typical wedding gifts..we're not a young couple starting out...but could really do with the extra cash for our honeymoon..Venue is min 100 pp for reception..hmmm

Toots

My advice is don't do it. A friend of mine suggested to me that I put it on my invites, but TBH, I think it's incredibly crass. If you're already together a good while and you've already gotten your own place, it won't take a genius to figure out that you'll already have all the kettles, toasters etc that you need. Often in situations like that, the easiest option for a guest is to throw a few quid in a card.

In all honesty, I've seen invitations with 'cash gifts only' on them, and I've also seen one that had that sentiment expanded in this stupid little poem thing:

We are sending out this information,
in hope you will join our celebration.
But if a gift is your intention,
may we take this opportunity to mention,
we have already got a kettle and toaster,
crockery, dinner mats, and matching coasters.
So rather than something we have already got,
we would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot.

and I think there's no way of putting it in print without looking cheeky and detracting from the significance of the invitation. I know a few of my relatives who've been chatting to my Mum have asked is there anything specific we'd like as a gift, and she's just said 'They haven't mentioned anything, but I think they would probably appreciate something towards their spending money for the honeymoon' or something like that. Would your parents/bestman/maid of honour be in a position where you could arrange for them to tell any guests who ask that you'd probably prefer cash?

There's another thread about how much to give as a gift, and the subject of requesting cash gifts has come up, and the general consensus is don't try to budget for your wedding by including gifts, and asking for cash gifts in the invitation is pretty tasteless.

implausible

My advice is DON'T DO IT! Have you read any of the other threads here?!

Most people would be highly affronted and consider it extremely bad manners to be directly asked for cash.

What you can do is, put the word out, via close family or friends, that you have everything you need and that you would prefer cash gifts. That should do it rather than demanding cash.

For our wedding, the vast majority of presents were money, with a few lovely personal gifts for our home. We didn't ask for this, but people who knew we had a house already.

SeekUp

Toots* wrote: »

I know a few of my relatives who've been chatting to my Mum have asked is there anything specific we'd like as a gift, and she's just said 'They haven't mentioned anything, but I think they would probably appreciate something towards their spending money for the honeymoon' or something like that.

This would be the proper way to get the word out to guests -- let your parents/MOH/Best Man know that you would prefer not to get housewares, etc., and the guests can ask them if they need suggestions.

I agree with Toots that a mention of any kind of gift request (cash, a wedding registry, or otherwise) on the invitations is in poor taste.

iguana

I agree with the others, putting it on the invite is extremely crass. And what has the price of the venue you chose got to do with anything? Expecting guests to pay to attend the party you invited them to is all kinds of rude.

Saint_Mel

As I said in another post, I recently heard of a couple who explicity stated on the invites that gifts are to be a minimum value of €200! That kind of thing turns people right off going.

My 2 cents is that if your inviting people to your wedding it should be because you want them to share in your day, not pay for it.

ecaf

Most people will ask you or your parents what you would like. Although you will have a few that will just give presents anyway.
We were living together a few years, and most people asked the parents what we wanted and then opted for cash.
One person phoned me and it was a little awkward, she had basically phoned up and said do you want cash or what will I give you? But I explained that until we had our own house bought we had no space to store anything. I didn't like saying yes cash please, but there is nothing we can buy until we have a house.

As for writing it on the cards, there has been numerous surveys here and on weddingsonline.ie and the general consensus is always DO NOT write it on the invitations, it is just so tacky and scabby looking. Some guests just might not be able to afford to give a cash gift, after buying outfits and maybe staying the night. Do you honestly expect everyone to give you a gift? Because there are always the few that either can't or won't.

Saint_Mel wrote: »

My 2 cents is that if your inviting people to your wedding it should be because you want them to share in your day, not pay for it.

+1

sarahlulu

I feel that it is in poor taste to request a cash gift. You might as well send out invitations with an invoice included.

Glowing

Rude, rude, rude!
If I read that at a bottom of an invite, then I wouldn't go, let alone give a 'gift'.

Choose a less expensive reception if you can't afford it.