It was Amazing so why hasn't he called??

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Last Friday night I was out in town and I got chatting to this guy at the bar.
He was really friendly and flirty and we ended up going back to his apartment.
This isn’t something I normally do but I enjoyed it so much I’d have no problem doing it again. He was really complimentary during the night telling me how gorgeous and slim and sexy I am. I was loving it!

The next morning he went down to make breakfast but came back a few minutes later and said he’d gotten a call from his brother and he had to go home cause his dad is sick. He offered me cab fare and told me he’d call me. We swapped numbers and I asked when he’d call and he said later on that night.

I heard nothing that night but left it cause his dad is sick but when I still hadn’t heard on Sunday evening I decided to call him. He didn’t answer so I left him a message saying hope your dad is okay and please call me back.

Yesterday I still hadn’t heard so I decided to call his office (he told me where he works).
I’m a firm believer in go after what you want, life is short. The receptionist said he was
out.

Would it be too much to call over on Thursday with a bottle of wine (I know where he lives and it’s close enough). I think it show I’m sassy and confident. I know he likes me cause he told me I’m incredible and the sex was fantastic (we did it all!).

Any advice or would it put him off?

_blank_

You are coming on like a stalker tbh.

He told you his dad is sick, this is either

a. true
b. a lie to get rid of you

If we assume B, then you are barking up a very wrong tree, but let's assume A.

If his dad is sick, the last thing he needs at a time like this is some randomer he shagged on Friday night to be all up in his face with calls, calls to his office, not least a unannounced calling round to his flat with wine.

If his dad is sick, then his head will be all over the place at the moment.

If he wants to contact you he will. You have done enough for now.

Gyalist

Des wrote: »

You are coming on like a stalker tbh.

He told you his dad is sick, this is either

a. true
b. a lie to get rid of you

If we assume B, then you are barking up a very wrong tree, but let's assume A.

If his dad is sick, the last thing he needs at a time like this is some randomer he shagged on Friday night to be all up in his face with calls, calls to his office, not least a unannounced calling round to his flat with wine.

If his dad is sick, then his head will be all over the place at the moment.

If he wants to contact you he will. You have done enough for now.

Harsh, but fair.

If I were that guy I would be ensuring that my bunnies were all securely locked up.

Edit: I'd bet a €100 that his reason was a lie and that he only wanted to get rid of you.

sam34

lets give him the benefit of the doubt and assume his dad is sick.

give him some space and a break.

he doesnt need this hassle from you - who he doesnt know- right now.

his dad being sick might very well focus his priorities, and the casual sex buddy from fri night is not one of them.

Oh The Humanity

His Dad's not sick.

'Sassy and confident' can be a euphemism for pushy and desperate!

It might have been amazing for you but maybe it was just another Friday night for him.

He told you it was 'incredible' -he probably tells 'em all that!

Look, you had a one night stand. All this is just a nice way of telling you thats it, thats all it was.

Leave it now and have a bit of dignity!

sam34

actually, i was just thinking, even if we left aside all the dad being sick issue, if ye had a great night and he said he'd call, and then you stsrted ringing, leaving messages and rang his workplace - well, if someone did this to me i'd be running a mile.

disturbing someone at work is not on, imo.

calling unannounced to his home after one night is not on either.
its too intrusive.

ciagr297

agreed, harsh but fair

OP, its such a nice feeling when something randomly great like this happens but you just need to back off now.
Assuming it was true, he's got alot on his mind now. If he is interested in getting back to you, he will. When he is ready.

Sinall

I would be horrified if I picked up the phone at work and it was someone I had been with the previous weekend, whose call I hadn't answered on my mobile! He has your number, he could have called you back when he saw the missed call.

If his Dad is ill he needs his space to deal with that. He does not need you turning up on his doorstep with a bottle of wine, expecting another night of gymnastics and compliments!

If his Dad isn't ill then he's just ignoring you. Leave the ball in his court now, you've done enough.

legend365

Either way...

Chill, Relax and forget about him.


Edit: Plenty more fish in the barrell.....who will call back the next day.

Reflector

he sounds like a player, you called him and heard nothing back. Thats all you need to know. Just move on, he's not worth it and put it down to a good night you had.

Dublin141

First impression - he lied to get rid of you. If his Dad was so sick that he had to go home then getting your number to ring you that night would be the last thing on his mind in fairness. Nobody would be calling me if my parents were sick unless they were seriously ill and if they were that ill then the last thing I would be thinking about is calling my one-night-stand. And if they were that sick I probably wouldn't be at work avoiding my calls either.

Let's say it was true. He's not going to be up for a quiet night in with a bottle of wine and the stranger from the weekend if he's worrying about his Dad. You've called him. You rang his job. He's had plenty of opportunities to call you back. He hasn't. He knows you rang. You left a message. If he wanted to talk to you he would have. If you believe his Dad is sick then don't you think he has more important things on his mind anyway?

I would absolutely not, under any circumstances, turn up at his house uninvited. That is ridiculous. I wouldn't answer the door if I was him to be honest with you. I'd hate to be called at work like that. If his excuse is a lie then he is avoiding you. If his excuse is genuine then give him a bit of space, he knows how to contact you.

Maybe watch the film He's just not that into you again If he lied then it's ****ty that he lied to you but it's not worth losing your dignity over. I'm sorry if it all sounds harsh but I would hate to think of you knocking at his door and him not answering.

I really hope we're all wrong but it isn't that likely.

LegacyUser

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

His Dad's not sick.

'Sassy and confident' can be a euphemism for pushy and desperate!

It might have been amazing for you but maybe it was just another Friday night for him.

He told you it was 'incredible' -he probably tells 'em all that!

Look, you had a one night stand. All this is just a nice way of telling you thats it, thats all it was.

Leave it now and have a bit of dignity!

Dignity? Are you serious? How do you know it was a nice way of telling me thats it? Were you there? Are you him? How do you know that I'm not incredible and sexy?
I ams eriously shocked that you think calling him is undignified. We had a great time, he said lets defo do it again and he gave me his number so I'd use it!
Jesus, you wouldn't want low self esteem around here.

Johnnnybravo

Calling him at work.................welcome to stalkerville, population you!

Seriously thats just not on.

Yes the sex was amazing but just because a guy says he will call it doesnt mean he will.

As others have said the ill dad could have been an excuse maybe not who knows, either way give the guy some space.

Please do not show up at his gaff with wine, its overkill!! Just do not, its a very bad idea.

wexford202

How do you know the sex was amazing.

Think back now and did he say it just to get rid of you?

It may have been great for one night only.

He knows you tried to contact him so if he hasn't got back to you he probably doesn't want to see you. I bet his brother didn't even ring him. That could be made up too.

LegacyUser

OP, everybody who has posted here cant be wrong. Please listen to them. You have done everything you can at this stage & if he wants to contact you again he will.

uoluol

I agree with all the other sentiments.

You had (by your own account) a lovely one night stand. Leave it at that.

LegacyUser

wexford202 wrote: »

How do you know the sex was amazing.

Think back now and did he say it just to get rid of you?

It may have been great for one night only.

He knows you tried to contact him so if he hasn't got back to you he probably doesn't want to see you. I bet his brother didn't even ring him. That could be made up too.

Thanks alot. Why would he lie like that? Why bother making up a story about his sick dad?
He is sick if he made that up. I just thought calling over with wine, wearing killer heels and a hot outfit would be incredibly spontaneous and sexy. Also that it might cheer him up if he's down about his dad. I honestly can not understand why everyone is calling me a stalker!! It's called being confident!! So may people are lonely, I least I take the plunge.

Oh The Humanity

amazingnight wrote: »

Dignity? Are you serious? How do you know it was a nice way of telling me thats it? Were you there? Are you him? How do you know that I'm not incredible and sexy?
I ams eriously shocked that you think calling him is undignified. We had a great time, he said lets defo do it again and he gave me his number so I'd use it!
Jesus, you wouldn't want low self esteem around here.

Hey whoah! YOU came on asking for honest advice. We are giving it to you to stop you making a t1t out of yourself frankly.

How do I know its a nice way of telling you this, well, its what people do when they are trying to get rid of last nights guest! Its not a personal reflection on you. Its just a routine! You need to learn to read between the lines girl !

I'm sure you are incredible and sexy, what's that got to do with anything?

Don't let everything he said to you go to your head, if you are, in fact real.

Low self esteem is crawling after a one night stand that's already given you the blow off!

legend365

amazingnight wrote: »

How do you know that I'm not incredible and sexy?

pics or GTFO!

REALLY though try see the situation from all these posters perspective. Most are probably men so know what the guy is thinking.

Sinall

amazingnight wrote: »

Dignity? Are you serious? How do you know it was a nice way of telling me thats it? Were you there? Are you him? How do you know that I'm not incredible and sexy?
I ams eriously shocked that you think calling him is undignified. We had a great time, he said lets defo do it again and he gave me his number so I'd use it!
Jesus, you wouldn't want low self esteem around here.

Sometimes people say "We'll do it again" when they don't mean it! You could well be incredible and sexy but he still may not want to see you again!

Or his Dad is ill, which is understandably taking up all of his time and thoughts right now.

Either way, your continued calling will probably serve to put him off you. If he was lying and doesn't want to see you again then you are just annoying him. If his dad is ill, you are coming across as pushy and inconsiderate.

He has your number, if he wants to call he will. If he doesn't, he won't.

AnonoBoy

You have his mobile number and he has yours. He didn't answer your call (for whatever reason) so you should leave it to him to call back since you left a message. If he doesn't want to he won't. If he does he will.

Don't ring him at work. Seriously? It's awkward and just a bit too pushy.

As for turning up at his house unannounced?

If you're in a relationship with someone or even seeing them for a while then sure - it's spontaneous etc. etc.

If you've been with them once and you do it. Nope. Sorry that's just stalkerland there.

mandysmithers

I've got a feeling that you're going to call over to his house anyway.

If it's true that his dad is sick, leave him alone. If he's really sick then this guy probably won't be thinking much about you. If it's not true that his dad's sick, then anything more you do will be construed as stalker behaviour, and will only serve to make him run a mile, if he hasn't already. If he likes you, he'll come after you. You've done some running already, don't do all the running.

If I was you, I wouldn't have called him at work. He didn't reply to your call to his mobile - that should have told you all you needed to know.

Sinall

Unregistered wrote: »

I just thought calling over with wine, wearing killer heels and a hot outfit would be incredibly spontaneous and sexy.

It would be spontaneous and sexy IF you two had a thing going or were seeing each other regularly.

After one night, my opinion is it would appear crazed and stalkerish.

wexford202

Even if he was interested in you at all the likelyhood is that he has no interest in you now after you both ringing him and calling to where he works.

I was going with my guy for months before he called to work. He will not appreciate that.

You could be a super model but if you are a pest ringing him he will not be interested. Plus you haven't really left him wanting more from you either by doing it on the first night. There is nothing wrong with a one night stand as long as that is where it starts and ends.

Wibbs

It takes 5 minutes from your day to make a phonecall. It takes seconds to send or reply to a text. No matter how busy one is. He just didn't want to. Even if his dad was sick and he was interested, he would have sent a quick text to say that(or was planning to until the flood of calls to his phone and then work). If he was interested or just from basic manners. He didn't.

There is a difference between confidence and pushiness and it puts people off. Men and women. Ringing work is not on. That's girlfriend territory and even there depends on the nature of someones work and the relationship itself.

Again showing up with wine etc is also pushy after just one night. Again more girlfriend territory. I for one am very dubious of someone who professes affection or acts in a way out of step with the relationship as it stands and this would do it for me.

mandysmithers

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks alot. Why would he lie like that? Why bother making up a story about his sick dad?
He is sick if he made that up. I just thought calling over with wine, wearing killer heels and a hot outfit would be incredibly spontaneous and sexy. Also that it might cheer him up if he's down about his dad. I honestly can not understand why everyone is calling me a stalker!! It's called being confident!! So may people are lonely, I least I take the plunge.

Right, you must be making this up. There's confident, and then there's not understanding social norms. The last person I was with who was like that I got rid of fairly quickly, and I still think of him as weird. I hope to god I never see him around. You don't want to be that person.

wexford202

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks alot. Why would he lie like that? Why bother making up a story about his sick dad?
He is sick if he made that up. I just thought calling over with wine, wearing killer heels and a hot outfit would be incredibly spontaneous and sexy. Also that it might cheer him up if he's down about his dad. I honestly can not understand why everyone is calling me a stalker!! It's called being confident!! So may people are lonely, I least I take the plunge.

No it is definitely not confidence it is being a stalker.

Read through everyones comments. There is nobody telling you to call to him.

What do you think he will do when he sees your killer heels? As for hot outfit. I'd move far far away if I were him.

mandysmithers

wexford202 wrote: »

What do you think he will do when he sees your killer heels?

He'll probably wonder who she'll try to kill with them if he turns her away

Magicmatilda

Your original post seems to be asking advice as to whether or not you should call over to him. I would advise that you do not call over.

This guy has your number, he knows you have contacted him. If he wants to contact you then he will. It is that simple.

Also as somebody else pointed out not one reply has advised you to call over so I would say the question you asked has been answered.

Johnnnybravo

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks alot. Why would he lie like that? Why bother making up a story about his sick dad?
He is sick if he made that up. I just thought calling over with wine, wearing killer heels and a hot outfit would be incredibly spontaneous and sexy. Also that it might cheer him up if he's down about his dad. I honestly can not understand why everyone is calling me a stalker!! It's called being confident!! So may people are lonely, I least I take the plunge.

lol go for it so!

If the dad is sick, you could at least have the cop to give the guy some space and if not its obvious why he didnt ring you, it was great sex a one night stand end of!

By the way if you were his gf it would be spontaneous but being Fridays one night stand it would just be stalker territory.

You rang his mobile more than once, you rang his job................Im sorry but I dont see how you think going to his house is a good idea after no reply from both of the above means of contacting him.

_blank_

I'm a bloke.

Sure, go around to his place with some wine, dressed in a killer outfit.

He won't believe his luck, and will definitely ride you again. Probably tell you it was great.

But don't be surprised if he doesn't call you the next day. Again.

LegacyUser

A lot of people have been in that situation.....as far as I can see one call/text is all that needs to be ignored for a body to get the message. Would have been nice for him to be honest with you and say 'look last night was a bit of fun and let's leave it at that'. At least you'd know where stood. Possiblity also that he has a girlfriend and calling round to his gaff uninvited might just cause more aggro than necessary.
OP..plenty more fish and all that

Jazzy

GO GO GO! DO IT!
definately do it. you have nothing to lose (pride is overrated) and sure if it all goes tits up then it would be funny anyway. show up with a bottle of wine and see what happens, you are bound to have a story no matter what way it goes. dont listen to the naysayers here.. they are just boring ppl

D rog

Assuming he was honest about his dad, I'd leave it now after a few attempts at contact.

Phone call at work is a red card to be honest, calling over after that puts you in crazy category.

Leave him to it now, and if you hear from him again work from there.

Trixielicious

amazingnight wrote: »

Dignity? Are you serious? How do you know it was a nice way of telling me thats it? Were you there? Are you him? How do you know that I'm not incredible and sexy?
I ams eriously shocked that you think calling him is undignified. We had a great time, he said lets defo do it again and he gave me his number so I'd use it!
Jesus, you wouldn't want low self esteem around here.

I'm sure you are incredible and sexy, all the people posting here were not trying to insult you but trying to give you the best advice for your benefit. I've been there, done that and bought the tshirt. Chances are you both had a great night and most people who have a one night stand say of course we'll do it again but it never happens. If he hasn't called you by now he either has his head up his ar*e with his dad being sick (if thats true) or he's just not interested. Either way you have made the first move and he hasn't responded. Calling him once is not undignified, calling him over and over again is!!!

wexford202

Des wrote: »

I'm a bloke.

Sure, go around to his place with some wine, dressed in a killer outfit.

He won't believe his luck, and will definitely ride you again. Probably tell you it was great.

But don't be surprised if he doesn't call you the next day. Again.

Or maybe he won't have his beer googles on this time and he will run a mile!

Lux23

It is possible that his Dad is sick and it may be difficult for him to get in the mood to contact but its doubtful. I have a one or two amazing one night stands that I wished could have been more but as I jumped the gun originally it wouldn't be likely that this would happen. My advice is to get used to the idea that you won't hear from him again and if you do its a bonus. But do not turn up at his house unannouced that's just very strange behaviour.

Dublin141

Des wrote: »

I'm a bloke.

Sure, go around to his place with some wine, dressed in a killer outfit.

He won't believe his luck, and will definitely ride you again. Probably tell you it was great.

But don't be surprised if he doesn't call you the next day. Again.

I'm so sorry OP but you're coming across as deluded now. You can be the sexiest person in the world but that doesn't mean he's interested!!

Why would he make that up? To get bloody rid of you without an argument of course!! Are you that naive? He has your number. You've already rang him, he didn't answer. You left messages. He didn't reply. If he is interested, he will call. You cannot seriously be thinking of going to his house unannounced. You had a one-night-stand love. He might have had an amazing time with you but that doesn't mean that he wants a relationship with you or even another one night stand. It isn't confident and sexy - it's odd and creepy. What if he has a girlfriend or a wife who was away for the weekend?

Stop taking people's advice as a personal insult, it's not. But clearly, if he was interested then he would have talked to you on at least one of the many opportunities he's had.

username123

Ouch!!! Stop calling, especially his work!!! And do not show up unannounced - thats crazy behaviour!!

The bottom line is this, you had a ons with a stranger who said he would call and didnt. You called, left a message, there was no response. You then (a little stalkerishly) called his place of work - not on at all. If he wanted to get back to you he would have done so. He hasnt. Accept it.

Personally I think the dad being sick thing was just a line. But even if the dad is sick, it only takes a few seconds to send a text. If he was into you he would. He isnt so he didnt. Look on it as a reflection on him, not you.

And try to calm down on the pushy behaviour - you will scare people off coming on so strong - unless they are of a similar disposition - which most people are not.

LegacyUser

amazingnight wrote: »

Hi Guys,

He was really complimentary during the night telling me how gorgeous and slim and sexy I am. I was loving it!

He offered me cab fare and told me he’d call me. We swapped numbers and I asked when he’d call and he said later on that night.

I heard nothing that night but left it cause his dad is sick but when I still hadn’t heard on Sunday evening I decided to call him. He didn’t answer so I left him a message saying hope your dad is okay and please call me back.

Yesterday I still hadn’t heard so I decided to call his office (he told me where he works).
Would it be too much to call over on Thursday with a bottle of wine (I know where he lives and it’s close enough). I know he likes me cause he told me I’m incredible and the sex was fantastic (we did it all!).

QUOTE]

of course he told you were slim and sexy, nobody gets anywhere telling the other, 'you've a bit of a gut on ya but i'm shag ye anyway'

was him offering you cab fare a response to you saying ' oh it's alright i'll wait here til you get back '?

you swapped numbers and he said he'd call. it's a bit needy to ask him when !

that was sat morn and you rang him sun ! even though you'd already established between the two of you he'd call you. even at that you rang him ! wouldn't a text have been less demanding ?
on monday you called his office. so i'm sure you had to actively look up his office number as he hadn't given it to you.............way overboard ! not even my friends call me at work !

so now you want to call over to his house (which obviously means his parents house if he has an apartment as you said earlier) are you deluded ? if someone i barely knew called to my parents house, i would be googling 'how to get a restraining order' sooner than you could say glenn close !


you know he likes you cause says you're incredible and the sex was fantastic !............He got what he wanted and i'm sorry but it wasn't you ! as the saying goes, ' he's just not that into you' !

Oh The Humanity

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks alot. Why would he lie like that? Why bother making up a story about his sick dad?

Because its easier than saying 'last night was great but I don't think I fancy it again'
Its a 'white lie' and very common in sexual encounters. Its understood after a o.n.s. that people get the hell out of each others hair. If one of the people is too thick skinned to read between the lines then they get elaborate lies !!!
It's a language you need to learn. Don't take everything people say too literally!

Unregistered wrote: »

I honestly can not understand why everyone is calling me a stalker!! It's called being confident!! So may people are lonely, I least I take the plunge.

When people tell you the unvarnished truth its not intended to be hurtful to you. It is to give you the heads up helping you to save some face. Its better to realise now you misunderstood and stop now rather than push on thinking you are confident when he thinks you are being a stalker!

meditraitor

Are you sure it was saturday night when you hooked up?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055647245

David Arm

Hey OP

TBH it was just a friday night for that guy for example when you go out in Dublin to a pub/club every single guy in the place is complementing the Irish girls on how ''attractive'' they are - its clearly just a one night stand line because lets be honest with the influx of women from other countries (poland/spain/asia in general) guys are willing to fill ye with anything in the hope of some action...this dude sounds like me (please check out my other post people i need advice)

BTW that person who offered the €100 bet I wouldnt bet against him

scarymoon1

QUESTION FOR OP

Did the guy you were with give any indication that he wanted to see you again? if so, then maybe his dad is really sick and his time and mind is taken up elsewhere. In my opinoin, the majority of guys do not give out their mobile numbers if they dont want to see you again. Why bother with the hassle of that. One question, is it his REAL mobile number?

scarymoon1

my god David Arm - I wouldnt like to meet a guy like you on a night out - filling a girl with crap and thinking that polish etc are better looking than irish girls. You should go live there and leave all the irish girls alone. then there might be not so many girls on here with one night stand problems etc.

iguana

Ok OP, I could understand if your thinking was; We had a great night and he seemed so into me I was sure something more would come of it. But I've called him a couple of times and am now suspecting that his "sick father" was just an excuse to get rid of me. However I'm thinking of calling around there so I know for sure and can put him out of my mind so I'm not wondering about him for ages. I'd even say if that's what you need to do, go for it. You already know how he feels, but if you need to be certain you might as well confirm it. It's a learning curve.

But your whole "I'm so awesome, he must really like me and he'll love my sexy shoes" is just deluded. Sometimes a night of great sex is just a night of great sex and a lot of people aren't very good at drawing a clear line under that. He hasn't called you back so it seems that to him this was just a ons so leave it at that.

David Arm

scarymoon1 wrote: »

my god David Arm - I wouldnt like to meet a guy like you on a night out - filling a girl with crap and thinking that polish etc are better looking than irish girls. You should go live there and leave all the irish girls alone. then there might be not so many girls on here with one night stand problems etc.

Well i was just being truthful at least its better than filling the OP with random crap kinda like what the guys do on nights out - you should really appreciate my honesty

But like i dont actually approach irish girls (if you read my other post you will see my problem) and since im presuming your a girl maybe you could give me a few tips if you wouldnt mind?

elle

OP I understand that you might like this guy a lot and it is crap that he doesn't seem to feel the same way. In saying that I think you might have done more damage by calling his workplace. If the dad thing was genuine and he was maybe considering seeing you again, I think that contacting him at work could have put him right off. I'm with my bf a while now and I would never ring his workplace unless it was an absolute emergency, i just think calling someone at work, especially after one night is seriously overstepping the mark!! I have to agree with the other posters here that arriving uninvited at his, even if u are dressed to kill, is going to backfire. Either he will be sleep with you because it's on a plate and most likely won't contact you again OR he will be horrified and possible tell you something that you don't want to hear! Perhaps it's better to just see this as one good night and stop chasing it!

Moomoo1

my friend once did something like this - travelled halfway accross the country to arrive at the doorstep of a girl he spent a few nights with previously. Nothing horrible happened: she just told him nicely she didn't want him

I have a different point which people might disagree with. If you like a guy and want to take things further then maybe going on a ONS with him is a bad idea? Thrill of the chase and all that.

Sephiroth_dude

Maybe he just isn't interested?or else he could be busy with his dad or something.....

dellas1979

Look at it this way.

If he really liked you that much, he would have called you. I mean have all the mobile phone masts fallen down or something that he cannot call? If he was into you, he would do anything to get in contact with you-but he isnt. Its as simple as that.

Now, I think lying about a sick dad is pretty lousy but there you have what kind of person he is.

What the problem is here is that you cannot accept what the reality is.

You have emotionally attached yourself onto this man after a one night stand.

For future maybe you should stay away from doing this.