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Can a FB become more?

  • 11-08-2009 12:43pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OK so here's my situation! Met a guy online a few months back, got on great and started sleeping together! We text most days and meet up few times a week but it is definitely not a relationship as we dont go on dates etc, he hasnt met any of my mates!

    The problem is I have really fallen for him...have never met anyone like him and we just have such a laugh and have so much in common!

    Now I have plenty of FB before and have always been able to detach myself...I'm not really a relationship kinda girl...i tend to get bored very easily and its rare i meet someone that i want to settle down with!

    I really dont know what to do. I know he feels the same about me as he has told me repeatedly that hes never met anyone like etc etc but he always manages to slip into conversation that its great were both in the same boat and dont want relationships!

    I'm not getting any younger..I'm 26 and I dont want to let this one go as its rare i meet people that i click with! Should I explain how i feel or end it quick before i get hurt??


Comments

  • #2
    Terodil
    Closed Accounts Posts: 809 ✭✭✭Terodil


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I really dont know what to do. I know he feels the same about me as he has told me repeatedly that hes never met anyone like etc etc but he always manages to slip into conversation that its great were both in the same boat and dont want relationships!
    It never fails to amaze me how people can **** each other's brains out and still be stuck at seriously pre-epic skill levels of 'communication'.

    His statement can be interpreted in two ways. Either he is convinced of what he's saying and just repeating it for your benefit, or he's desparately trying to convince himself of it, for his own benefit.

    You will never know unless you talk to him, properly. You can only win. Either you get a good shot at turning your current non-relationship into a meaningful one or you learn the truth and can put a stop to a hopeless endeavour that would only see you hurt in the end.


  • #3
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    The FB carry-on is not an ideal way to start a relationship, but there's precious little ideal in this world. Some enduring relationships can and do start this way.

    You wont know where you stand till you put your cards on the table, and you may as well, as you'll be communicating what you really want to him anyway, in ways that are not vocal and you may not be aware of and may just have the effect of putting the wind up him.

    Just be honest; it's the only sane course of action really.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here, thanks for the advice, I know that I have to just be honest and talk to him, think i just needed to here it from a third party!

    Wish me luck!

    Thanks again..


  • #5
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    Good luck, and if it's any comfort, my partner and I were very casual at the start - that was seven years ago! :)


  • #6
    Amirah Stale Thermos
    Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Amirah Stale Thermos


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Now I have plenty of FB before and have always been able to detach myself...I'm not really a relationship kinda girl...i tend to get bored very easily and its rare i meet someone that i want to settle down with!

    I really dont know what to do. I know he feels the same about me as he has told me repeatedly that hes never met anyone like etc etc but he always manages to slip into conversation that its great were both in the same boat and dont want relationships!

    I'm not getting any younger..I'm 26 and I dont want to let this one go as its rare i meet people that i click with! Should I explain how i feel or end it quick before i get hurt??

    Next time why don't you try opening your mouth BEFORE you open your legs?

    If you can sleep with him then TELL him. ASK him how he feels. Learn to communicate.

    ah, I see OP just posted.. good luck.


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  • #7
    Novella
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Next time why don't you try opening your mouth BEFORE you open your legs?

    That's a bit harsh. Maybe she didn't tell him she didn't like him first because she didn't know it. They started sleeping together so were spending time together and she fell for him then. How was she to know beforehand? It's not your place to judge anyway, casual sex is very commonplace nowadays.

    OP, if you think you're going to end up getting hurt if you continue to sleep with him but get nothing more from him, then yes, I think you should definitely tell him how you feel. Afterall, even if he doesn't feel the same way, at this stage you are only sparing yourself the hurt so nothing's lost.

    FB's can definitely become more. I was really good friends with a guy and we slept together on and off for a year and half, sometimes a few times a week and sometimes not for weeks at all and we got on great. I fell for him and ended up telling him one night and everything's been great since.

    Go for it, good luck and let us know how things go :)


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