Is there ever a further down the line?

LegacyUser

If when you are splitting up with someone and they say it's just bad timing with them and say maybe further down the line
would you take that as face value or just a cowardy way of saying I am not interested and will never be.
I do genuinely believe it is bad timing for them to be going out with someone though
just looking for perspectives
perhaps to feel better about the situation
thanks

MizzLolly

I've been in this situation before and while I am sure that there have been some happy endings for other couples, it really was just used as a cowardly cop out with me. When my ex boyfriend broke up with me he promised it was only temporary and that the split wouldn't be forever. He left me at my bus stop and drove away. I was shattered. About an hour and a quarter later, I recieved a text from my cousin to tell me that she had just seen him in the local, wrapped around a girl who'd been chasing him for months.

Looking back, I believe he said the split wasn't forever to either:

A) try to make walking away from me more 'friendly', knowing I could take some comfort in the fact he still wanted me, just not right now. Rather than saying ''I don't think our relationship can go anywhere from here'', he chose to string me along under the excuse that his personal life was too hectic rather than risking his cheating and lies being revealed to me. It was a cop out, pure and simple, to distract me from asking the real questions he didn't want to answer.

or

he wanted to play around a bit but wanted to be sure he has a nice secure backup plan with me if it all blew up in his face with these new girls. Either way, he wouldn't end up alone.

Sorry if my post seems negative but in my experience, it was a total cop out. I hope it's not true in your case and I hope others can post some happy endings from similar situations.

But there's my 2c!

LegacyUser

I was in the same situation - 10 weeks on i am in an awful place. He should have been honest with me, and i wouldn't be so hurt. He is now with somone else she is living with him, just 2 wks later...with all my clothes still in his place.

disaster!!!! time is a great healer

Eve_Dublin

Hey OP....I too was told this by the one man who broke my heart almost two years ago and while I was trying to get over him, I hung onto that "promise" and it made it impossible to get over him properly for months and months. He was probably just trying to make the blow easier but I don't think he realised how much harder he made it for me. I could never truly get over him knowing I still might have had a chance with him.

And just when I thought I was making progress, I bumped into him and he told me he still loved me and always would and who knows....maybe down the line...he SHOULDN'T have said this because I was back at square one again. This time round I knew he was being a selfish git.

2 years down the line and 2 years of getting my act together and finally getting over him, if he asked me back tomorrow, I'd would say, "No thank you". He was my past, we finished for a reason and I was too broken-hearted to see what that was back then...now in the cold light of day 2 years later, I'm kicking myself for not forgetting him sooner and hanging on to the flimsy, empty "promise" that we'd get back together

You're ex shouldn't have said this. It's a cowardly line the dumper commonly uses to ease their guilt and you should ignore it. The only way you'll get over your ex is to accept that it's over for good. You broke up for reason..try and remember what that was and focus on it. I promise down the line you'll look back at yourself now and wonder why you wasted precious energy being broken-hearted over something that wasn't meant to be. There's no easy why out of this...you have to go through this crappy period to come out stronger the other end...and tenner bets you will.

Good luck.

Liam Byrne

We probably all do it, in order to "soften the blow"......but the best thing for the person on the receiving end is to hear it straight out and honestly....an immediate kick in the teeth, but from my own experience the exes that I still get on with are the ones where either they or I said straight out "this ain't gonna work".

Honesty is the best policy.....anything else can deliver false hope.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Usually said when someone makes it very difficult for you to split with them.

They never want you back again unless its exclusively for easy sex. Consider it over and move on.

Tar.Aldarion

It doesn't matter if it is true or not, forget them. If they want to try and win you back in the future it is up to them and there is no use worrying about it. If they think like that it is their loss as it;s likely the other person will have found somebody else by the. In my opinion they won't come back to you, just saying it. It hurts to realise that for us but hey, time to find somebody new I guess.

LegacyUser

Have had a similar situation myself, she was just out of a relationship of 4 years! altough she tried at the start she said she just couldn't be with someone else at the moment, we met at the wrong time and that if we just calmed it down you never know what might happen!
Now i know that she does like me but just not enough i suppose, major mind mess though cos I was left with hope and im mad about her.
This has kept going for 3 months or so, stupid on my part but contact was minimal, and becoming harder and harder, so last week i bit the bulllet, told her that i was realy starting to woder why i bother with txting /calling her when the usual reply i get was, about a day later "sorry just really busy at the moment" sometimes no reply at all....
Low and behold i get a reply almost immediatly saying sorry and asking me to please not be like that, gave an abrupt reply, and next day get told that we'll defo meet this week and intimated going away for a night....
Now id like to think the last few months were just her sorting her head out but thats wishful thinking i feel.....in short i think the "downthe line excuse" is away of saying im not that into it but if nothing else turns up i might give it another chance...all the while the poor sap on the other end is left clinging to false hope..
Sorry for the hijack but id say don't make the same mistake that i made and just forget it now (not easy i Know)
saying all this if she contacts me again this week i know ill meet her "one last throw of the dice" and all that, but saying that i think i love this one so hope is a hard thing to quench in my situation....
hope it works out for you,
and by the way any opiniions on my situation would be appreciated also, is there any chance that she was just trying to sort herself out or am i dreaming??