Where am I going?

LegacyUser

im sitting at my desk brain totally switched off doing my job and im really mad at myself for getting into this situation, im glad i have a job, its comfortable and it pays the bills but at 28, i still dont know what i want to do with the rest of my life, its just a job, not a career, moneys not really a problem but i dont want to start a course and then just decide its not for me, i dont really have any ambitions and i just feel so stuck and i find myself getting jealous of people who have made successes of their lives, its almost that i dont feel smart enough for the challenge, how does anyone decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives? i just feel like a failure at this stage and shouldnt even bother trying

Taltos

First off take a deep breath.
Now - you are not alone here in these thoughts. Alot of us have had similar and will continue to do so at different points in our careers / lives.

The way to look at it is this.
+'s
> You are young
> You know you have to change something

-'s
> You own mind... this will be your greatest enemy.

Maybe start slowly - so you don't want to do a course - know how that is.
But - is there something else you have always dreamed of doing - or better yet - is there something that you said you would never ever do?
Some examples are:
Bungee Jumping, Scuba Diving, Sky Diving, Paragliding, Sea Kayaking, Rock Climbing, Running, Snorkling, Mountain Biking, Abseiling, etc etc
Thing about Ireland is since it is always raining the water sports are actually really good - as you are already wet.

The whole idea here is to re-ignite your love for new things that you had as a kid. See that is what work does to us - it stifles us in so many ways. The great thing for you is you have spotted it and can now act on it.
You might have others telling you that you are depressed and to see a GP - and you know they might be right.

But it could just be that you are just missing the spark of something new - so go out there and try something different.
Best case - you will love what you tried and will make some great new friends.
Worst case - you will have some interesting stories to tell about each of the different things you tried and hated...

Mine was the bungee jump - both hated it and loved it.

Best of luck. Now take another breath and look around you - odds are that most of the folk you see around or + your age have or are going thru similar feelings, you though have copped it and will do something about it.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

im sitting at my desk brain totally switched off doing my job and im really mad at myself for getting into this situation, im glad i have a job, its comfortable and it pays the bills but at 28, i still dont know what i want to do with the rest of my life, its just a job, not a career, moneys not really a problem but i dont want to start a course and then just decide its not for me, i dont really have any ambitions and i just feel so stuck and i find myself getting jealous of people who have made successes of their lives, its almost that i dont feel smart enough for the challenge, how does anyone decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives? i just feel like a failure at this stage and shouldnt even bother trying

I sympathise ...but I think you have a lot of options still...

Excellent advice above from Taltos !!

Also... it might be a good time to use that spare time you have to go and talk to some people in different career areas. Use your contacts, friends of friends, friends of relatives etc. Talk to them about the ups and downs of their sector. Make use of your library. Go and grab some career guidance publications.
It may well be that when you were choosing a career you were not inspired by anything because you didn't get the right info. Now you have a second chance, together with the experience you have gained since then.

Use your spare time to do this and then, maybe next year you may be ready to go back to college.

All the best !

LegacyUser

I am in exactly the same position as you. I feel the same. I would like to emigrate eventually,but I suppose it all depends on the job. If you're doing something you like,then location isn't all that important.(somewhat...)

I would not go abroad now without a job, not worth the risk, but am feeling the same as you are today!

I'm 32 though...

modest_marie

Hi

I know exactly what you mean. I've been feeling the same for years. I'm 28! Have you traveled? It feels like my life needs to take a huge leap to wake it up again! My main problem is that I just feel that the strengths that I see I have feel completely unused in my current job, and I feel bored all the time.

I don't know what I want to do for life either, I don't think anyone does... But maybe think about what you would be happy doing for the next 10 years, because we all change.

And great advice from Talto, I've recently done volunteering based in an outdoor pursuits centre and I got to do all the things I missed so much doing when I was younger! It gave me a new motivation to just get out there and start doing things. Even if I can't fix my job at the moment, then I can fill my spare time with things I enjoy and see where it leads me.

I struggle too with how People find out what they want to do. I think most People I have spoken to seem to just make a sensible decision and put their all into it. Easier said than done!

Great to know I'm not the only one confused and lost :-)
Chin up...

LegacyUser

ive done a diploma in sales and sales marketing and origionally i wanted to get into sales and be a sales manager one day but apparently sales across the board are suffering, i just see studying for that as a waste now that i work in accounts now, id like to even to get into business development but with my work experience being so long ago they mightnt look at me, its probably not the best time to look either, there was a brilliant article in yesterdays indo about a girl who lived for the weekends, packed up her job and is just going to take it one day at a time, i was so inspired that i was even going to chuck in the job and maybe follow my dreams and concentrate on making my cv better, getting more skills and education and just going for it, then i thought, got to pay the rent, got to pay bills and that put me in my corner, maybe even i could dp advertising or pr, would that be hard to get into? I lived in austrailia when i was younger on and off for two years and went to the states too for a few summers so i havent got that travel bug!

LegacyUser

Hello,
I'm the exact same, 27, degrees up to my eyeballs, and in a job I couldn't give a fiddlers about! to an extent part of the problem is that I think I've been spoiled, as have loads of people in this country, college was always a given, pretty much free for most of us, now that we're in jobs, we're like: "Is this it?!" Well, maybe it is...
The problem is, you go to college, study a subject your'e interested in, (biological sciences in my case, a PhD), then go and work in a company who don't really do real science, so I sit at a desk all day. I could do a job lower down, but still be doing a boring monotonous job, cos thats all there is in the science sector in this country!! (sorry about the rant)
In time our priorities will change, settling, marriage etc, and the so called career will just be a job to pay for a life outside of work. THis depresses me to be honest. I think for any of us bored & unfulfilled, we will have to try to find a job that we'll be happy to stay in long term, and hopefully we'll find that job before we settle. It will prob not the job of our dreams but hopefully it'll be enough.
Apart from, I think the only advice I have is, to do stuff outside of work, or go travelling...
Good luck!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I could do a job lower down

Doing a job 'lower down' as you call it isn't really the point here.

I think too many People get caught up in the rat race. Trying to base who they are on what salary they earn, and what car they drive! Or better still what year the car is that they drive! Never mind what car! (rant, sorry!)

Don't you think we have gotten carried away with gaining a degree in a respectable College/Uni with good job prospects, instead of stopping to think of what we actually enjoy doing as People. I think this might have contributed to People holding degrees and then working in jobs that don't satisfy. The more you have the more you want. I'm trying to find something that I will give me satisfaction in my job. A job where I smile and laugh a lot during the day. A job that I don't mind getting out of bed for, and not dread the boring day ahead! Something that I can talk passionately about, and something that I can give something back into.

I am currently working in a Secretarial role, and get paid very good money for what I do. But one of my happiest jobs was when I worked in Catering. Customers saying thanks to me every day made the job more satisfying.

Don't you think that life is too short to settle for a job that's 'enough' instead of enjoyable?
Yes I agree priorities change, and marriage and kids etc does come into it. But while we're living our lives for ourselves, don't you think we should go do the best we can..

Let's not get caught up in basing who we are on our status in society. Surely the nicest and most interesting people out there don't care what scale salary they're on, and feel lucky to even have a car, as long as their job brings a smile to their face.

LegacyUser

Ive really thought about what i like the most and thats helping people, ive had it with my job and i feel very motivated to get going, ive seen a course that idf liek to do and its two years long but ive an apartment that i rent so if im not working id have to share a house or something or would i? could i even get rent allowance and myabe see if i could get part time hours somewhere? thanks everyone for taking the time to read this and help out

Taltos

Wow - excellent. Hope it works out for you and well done on finding what you want to do.
Here's hoping the rest of us are as lucky

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Ive really thought about what i like the most and thats helping people, ive had it with my job and i feel very motivated to get going, ive seen a course that idf liek to do and its two years long but ive an apartment that i rent so if im not working id have to share a house or something or would i? could i even get rent allowance and myabe see if i could get part time hours somewhere? thanks everyone for taking the time to read this and help out

Sounds like a plan :-)

Maybe work a bit longer and put 100% money away ? Agree with taking someone in to share..no idea about rent allowance. Work is scarce right now but I believe that a few hours a week is still not too difficult to get.

It will be a struggle.... but it will be worth it if you carry it through ! Hopefully the economy will be better by the time you finish as well.

All the best !