I don't see a future

LegacyUser

I'm 25, male, and still live with my parents. I am 5000 in debt on my credit card (limit it about 5500) I take home only 275 a week. I didn't built up the CC debt by buying luxuries, its mostly my car insurance + vhi for the last few years. Well now my car insurance is due and I can't even use my CC to pay it because I'm so near the limit. So now I'll have to leave the car in the driveway and get the bus (can't even leave it on the road as usual if its not insured)

The recession means nothing to me, I've always earned this low amount of money. I go on dates from time to time but when I tell them I live at home things fizzle out, and I can understand that. My confidence is decreasing day by day, so much so that today for the I've just been crying, it happens now about every 6 weeks when I realise how much of a loser I am, the rest of the time I can convince myself I am important, I used to be able to control it, but last week I took a half day from work because I wanted to go home and cry, I just can't control it. I don't see any future. I mean that in the most practical way, this is not a soppy post about s*icude, I don't think that is a solution.

Apart from "Call the samaratians" does anyone have some words of wisdom here?
At least I got this off my chest. My situation is not getting better, only worse.

Wacker

I can't help with most of your problems as I have no real basis for comparison when it comes to money problems, but I don't think that's what's really bothering you. However, don't let the fact that you live at home stop you from chasing the ladies. I'm two years your senior, live at home, and I just got a new girlfriend myself. Chin up; you've just had some bad luck. It comes in swings and roundabouts.

Happy hunting!

suspectpackage

If you are living at home and making 275 a week, it shouldn't take too long to eat away at that 5k debt if you take it step by step.

I think the problem is that you are stuck in a rut, not the money situation. You don't sound happy with the job or the money you are making. At 25, it's NOT too late to do a college course or gain another skill to increase the amount of money you make. I think your problem is that you simply have no purpose. A man without a life purpose is going to feel that his life is empty and worthless. You need to find something that you want, a goal, and then devote your life to achieving it.

WellyJ

No one on boards will be able to help your situation. Only you can fix this. The wage you mention seems very very low for any kind of full time employment. Have you tried to find a different job? It's not easy at the moment, but it's certainly possible.

Do you have anything tying you down to this Country? You could sell your car to clear some debt and maybe think about moving abroad for a while to spice things up. It sounds like you are stuck in quite a depressing rut but each day spent thinking about it is another day wasted.

You say that when you mention to women that you still live at home that things "fizzle" out and that you don't blame them. Why is this exactly? A lot of people are forced to live at home with the folks these days for financial reasons and you should consider yourself lucky that you have a home to go to!! If a girl has an issue with this than she is hardly worth your time or attention in the first place. There are plenty of girls the same age as you living at home.

Having a cry every 6 weeks or so would probably be a lot more common than you think. If you were crying every night it would be a bigger issue.

As cheesey as this sounds, you need to sit down and think about what exactly you want from your life. And then think about what steps you need to take to achieve this. Then start working on those steps. Best of luck.

mikemac

You are young and healthy, ditch the VHI, you don't need it.
Someone will reply that you could fall ill or get injured in the morning, you still don't need it.

Are you working a standard five day week?
That's a shocking low wage

LegacyUser

OP, your despair is clear. I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough personal time. I know a bit about what it is to feel like that. I hope you can make some changes that will help you feel better.

One practical thing I would suggest is to find a cheaper source of money and clear that credit card debt. The interest rate on CCs can be notoriously high. Check out what percentage rate you're paying on that balance and get a - cheaper - loan from a bank or the credit union to pay it off. Hopefully that will make your repayments more in control and manageable.

If you can't afford to tax/insure your car maybe you would consider giving it up for a few months, or a year or so, especially if you have the option of using public transport. You could use the money to to pay off the CC bill. I'm not being flippant but would getting a bicycle be an option? Short term. You'd save on bus fares too and get fit and healthy and it would give you an added interest. Whether cycling or not, physical exercise can be a great help when you're feeling down. It would give you a chance to build confidence again too. It doesn't have to be at an expensive gym either.

I hope you can restore some calm and feel better before too long. I wish you all the best.

cafecolour

I've worked myself out of 5,000 in credit card debt, and then about 6 yeas later, 15,000 in credit card debt. It's totally doable, if difficult. Though then I never had them again, because I've proven to myself twice I can't handle them.

I make about the same as you a week (30-35 hours a week in a bar at 9 euro and hour). I have VHI (at 60 euro a month), and I pay rent on a flat (300 a month plus about 40 a month for power and internet). I have no car.

Even with that, I still put about 300+ away a month into savings (which I then blow every few months traveling, but that's what I'm saving for). At your salary, and living at home, you should be able to pay off the credit card in a year.

First get rid of the car. They're money holes. Get a cheap bike if you're close enough to your job or take the bus if not (and catch up on your reading).

Then cancel the credit card (it doesn't need to be active to pay it off), and never have them again.

Don't eat out. Live on porridge, pasta, tuna, and veg if need be. Don't really drink out - a few drinks is one thing, but if anything drink more at mates' house before hand on the cheapest beer in the offie. It's hard, but you've got to keep to it - I know especially hard as the more depressed you get, the more you think 'feck it' and impulse spend.

Finally, make plans to return for your undergraduate degree (if you don't have it) or a useful postgrad (next year) next September. Or take a TEFL course during the year and plan to get a job teaching abroad next September. You have the next year to pay off the debt in preperation.

milod

Sorry if this sounds uncharitable OP, but you earn less than my 18 year old son does in his temporary job. He's on minimum wage and he knows that he cannot afford to drive a car. He also knows that he can't afford to have a credit card.

He leaves his laser card at home when goes out with his friends because he knows he'll use it unwisely after a few drinks.

Nobody took your decisions for you. You did. Whatever happened to personal accountability?

You can waste your time feeling depressed and sorry for yourself, or you can take positive action to change your life. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Sell the car you cannot afford.
2. Cancel your VHI subscription - it's basically useless unless you have one of the expensive premium products
3. Consider evening courses to increase your potential wage expectations
4. Get a second part time job, e.g. MacDonalds, Aldi etc.
5. Cut your credit card in two to prevent any further stupidity on your part.

Again, sorry to be so blunt, but your problems are of your own making and you seem to be in denial as to the solutions.

travelmad

Dont be worrying about the fact that your 25 and still living at home. I would imagine most people your age are living at home to be honest. I wouldnt think its unusual anyway. If the girls you're meeting think there's something wrong with that then they're obviously not living on the same planet as the rest of us!

Your 25 and earn 275 a week.... How the hell did you get a credit card limit of 5500? When I got my credit card I was earning 500 a week and my credit card limit is only 1000 (I have been put on part time work so really glad cc limit is low).

If I were you I think the first thing I'd do is get rid of the credit card... its a temptation you could do without. I know you say you were not using it for luxuries or anything but its a temptation all the same. Try maybe from now on paying something off it every week... you'd be surprised how quickly it will go down.. even 20 quid a week is better than nothing. I dont know about getting rid of the vhi though... I'm 26 and dont have vhi and its been something preying on my mind for ages now, I know I need to get it sorted... I'd try and hold onto it if I were you but that's just my opinion.

I hope things get better for you soon.