Ex and Graduation- what do i do?

LegacyUser

Hi all, need some advice, thanks in advance!!

My Bf of 2 years broke up with me a few weeks ago, after weeks of pleading with him to change his mind as I love him dearly and wanted to do anything to make it work, he refused to change his mind so I initiated no contact last week as I couldn't bear to be "just friends" like he wanted.

While I am finding no contact, extremely difficult, I am hoping to keep to it as long as possible because it was destroying me talking to him when he didn't want anything more than to be my friend.

My graduation is on in a few weeks time, he will also be graduating at the same time, we will inevitably run into each other on the day, so my question is what do I do? Bearing in mind he was my first love and I thought we had a future together and he dumped me by text out of the blue and I am utterly utterly heart broken. Depression and self esteem issues also play a factor.

Do I try to avoid him all day, even though we have the same group of friends from college who will no doubt be all hanging around together.

Do I try talk to him like I would with any of my other friends?

Or do I text him prior to the day and ask him to leave me alone on the day?

Or any other options you can think of?

I'm terrified that when I see him, I'll just burst into tears as I am still very much hurt and raw and I don't want puffy eyes in my graduation photos or making a show of myself in front of everyone. I was really looking forward to the day, but I am worried this issue is going to ruin it for me. We have the graduation ceremony in the morning, then a reception and then a night out that night.

Thanks for your help. Much appreciated.

LegacyUser

Hey,
sorry to hear you are going through a tough time.
Fair play to you not initiating any contact so far as it's not an easy thing to do
and if you can keep up with the no contact for as long as you can, even up to you have to see your ex at the graduation all the better

Don't contact him asking him to leave you alone or stay out of your way as hard as it may be you should not if at all possible let him see how upset you will be

On the day of your graduation stay with your regular freinds even if he is there
talk to your ex like you would any other friend and do not break down or get upset
gear yourself up for it, slap a smile on your face and be that delighted person graduating that you worked so hard for!!!

Go for a long walk before you go to your graduuation to get any stress out of your system and spend time with people who will make you laugh and relax you

Don't worry about it just remember a big smile, it will work a treat and don't get upset infront of the ex

Goodluck and try have fun

Firetrap

I assume at the graduation that your family will also be there. That means that your time with your friends will be limited in the early part of the day. In the morning of the ceremony you'll be getting fitted out with the hat/gown and getting set up for the parade if that's what you do. For the reception your parents will probably be there and you will probably be kept busy keeping them entertained for a certain amount of the time and possibly introducing them to your friends. The night out is a different kettle of fish - at least by then the photos will be over

Not being horrible here but I'm a bit bothered by your statement that you pleaded with your ex not to break up with you. You can't make somebody love you. In time you may look back on what you did and think it wasn't the best thing to do. Just my opinion. Coming from this angle, sending him a text to leave you alone would be cringey behaviour. You really don't need him to know how gutted you are now - that is a sign of weakness.

What I think you should do is go to the graduation. If you bump into your ex, be perfectly civil and nice but don't try to engage him particularly. He will probably be trying to avoid you as well to a certain extent.

To be honest, I think the night out is where the danger lurks. You might be a bit drunk and emotional (last time you'll all be together) and could say or do something you regret. Don't delude yourself into thinking you and your ex can be friends. Maybe down the line you might but certainly not now and certainly not in a couple of weeks time. Don't get into any deep and meaningful conversations with him. Be perfectly nice and all that but make sure you focus your attention more on your other friends and don't be thinking about him