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"Oh." - My little ode to the clarity of hindsight!

  • 09-08-2009 1:44am
    #1
    reality
    Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭


    This is something I wrote when I was feeling deeply frustrated with a (now ex-) partner. The ending marked a rather bleak, but ground-breaking epiphany for me! Any opinions appreciated :)



    Oh.


    Ah, there you are, lost in reflection.
    Your reflection.

    I was just hollering for your help.
    You mustn’t have heard me above your breathing.
    It's ok though, you would’ve come, right?
    Ran to my aid? No? Oh well, I guess you were busy.

    Want anything darling?
    My heart on a platter?
    My pride to bridge a puddle?
    My integrity to style your hair?
    My honour to chew on?

    - No?

    Oh...

    I understand.


Comments

  • #2
    redarmyblues
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 983 ✭✭✭redarmyblues


    not too bad at all. If i can fault it and i will it has the faults of many of the poems on here in that it is too concerned with the self and not the whole wide world.


  • #3
    reality
    Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭reality


    :) I'm not gonna deny that that's most likely the most self orbiting thing I've ever wrote, but erm, it is based on my own "penny drops" moment!


  • #4
    Matt Holck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    when words don't come back round
    why bother reading?


  • #5
    Grievous
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 218 ✭✭Grievous


    That was fun to read. I found it quirky and unique.


  • #6
    reality
    Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭reality


    Matt Holck wrote: »
    when words don't come back round
    why bother reading?

    ?


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  • #7
    blacon9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 82 ✭✭blacon9


    I really liked this poem. Very witty.

    Well done.


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