Worrying thoughts

LegacyUser

I'm 25, in a job I find very boring, having gotten a degree in an area I now realise I don't really want to spend the rest of my life in. I'm in a relationship which I'm having increasing doubts about, living with someone I can barely stand to be around sometimes. I have real difficulty with social interaction and quite low self-esteem. Everything in life just feels so difficult and like so much effort. I often feel that I just want the world to leave me alone and hearing about all the violence, misery, injustice, disease and suffering in the world really gets me down too. I've started having thoughts that things would be so much easier if I simply wasn't here anymore. I don't necessarily think I'm considering suicide, it's more like the idea that if I was to die somehow I at least wouldn't feel all this pain anymore, and how much easier that would be. These thought have me very, very worried about myself and the way my life is going.

I know things need to change but I'm too afraid to tell my OH how I feel about our relationship and it's so awkward because we live together. It's not a good time to try to change jobs right now and I have no idea what I really want to do anyway. I did a really good course on improving self-esteem and social skills but it doesn't seem to have changed anything. I don't know what I'm hoping to get by posting this but thanks for reading.

LegacyUser

OP it sounds as if you are stuck in a rut. you should maybe consider talking to someone about the way your feeling, if not your other half than maybe a friend or even consider talking to your GP.
The fact that you have posted this means you are looking to make some sort of a change with your life - maybe take the opportunity now to go back to college etc..
Hope everything works out.

Otis Driftwood

Hi OP.

There are people twice your age in the same situation - job they hate,partnership/marriage they are unhappy in etc.

The question you need to ask yourself is do you want to spend the next 25 years being like this?

You are only 25 and you dont know what you want to do with your life,thats no big issue,hell,Im 30 and am still unsure.

You need to evaluate where you are and where you think you would like to be.Unfortunatly thats not an easy thing to do and there is no quick fix.

As the previous poster said,go and have a chat to a professional,maybe a life coach.It really does help to thrash things out with someone unbiased and often times they can give a perspective that nobody else could.

Try and keep the chin up and best of luck to you.

LegacyUser

I wish I was 25 again!!

Op, you have the world ahead of you. You've got a degree so you can go on to further study if you want. have a deep think about it. You are young, remember that. I am 34 and wish I was your age!

VaioCruiser

worried_ wrote: »

I'm 25, in a job I find very boring, having gotten a degree in an area I now realise I don't really want to spend the rest of my life in. I'm in a relationship which I'm having increasing doubts about, living with someone I can barely stand to be around sometimes. I have real difficulty with social interaction and quite low self-esteem. Everything in life just feels so difficult and like so much effort. I often feel that I just want the world to leave me alone and hearing about all the violence, misery, injustice, disease and suffering in the world really gets me down too. I've started having thoughts that things would be so much easier if I simply wasn't here anymore. I don't necessarily think I'm considering suicide, it's more like the idea that if I was to die somehow I at least wouldn't feel all this pain anymore, and how much easier that would be. These thought have me very, very worried about myself and the way my life is going.

I know things need to change but I'm too afraid to tell my OH how I feel about our relationship and it's so awkward because we live together. It's not a good time to try to change jobs right now and I have no idea what I really want to do anyway. I did a really good course on improving self-esteem and social skills but it doesn't seem to have changed anything. I don't know what I'm hoping to get by posting this but thanks for reading.

Hi OP !

I know it feels really bad now - but please believe me from my personal experience ---- it will get better I promise you.

Firstly ... the job is bad and the relationship is bad. ok ...

There is no time like the present OP... your relationship is probably a toxic relationship which is probably feeding into your mood and your self esteem etc. So I would suggest to you that the very FIRST thing you need to do is fix it or move on. Toxic relationships ruin lives. They are called toxic because they act like a poison to our self esteem, our behavior, our moods and our jobs and our whole world.
There is never a GOOD time to end a relationship. So the best time is right now in my experience.

You need to make a fresh start, in your own place, with some peaceful quiet time. Then you can recharge your spiritual batteries, and you can step back from what you are experiencing and look afresh at your job and maybe use your training in some other field ?

All the best.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
Was in same position as yourself very recently, altho no relationship at the time. I was feeling vv worthless and wished I wasn't here. Prob should have sought professional help, but to be honest I didn't actually know I had a problem. Eventually, my life started changing only this summer, I started exercising a lot and I know it has helped me so much. I'm consciously telling myself to be more positive, and I think positive thinking is the only way. It's not your fault that you feel v down at times, I personally don't think a person's mood is an attitude thing, it's more about how you feel (no real power over this, so sometime telling you to snap out of it ain't gonna help)), however you can try your best to see positive instead of negatives. Believe me exercise will help with your mood though. Maybe you can get into some kinda sport.
You also need to sort out/end your relationship and start afresh, with only yourself to think about. It's all about you!! Try to get busy and maybe try something new, join a club or something. Getting out and about mixing will boost your self-esteem/confidence also..
Good luck, hope it works out for you

LegacyUser

Thanks so much for the advice. I'm going to see a counsellor and steel myself for breaking up my relationship. Not easy at all but it has to be better than feeling like this all the time.