ED...what to do?

LegacyUser

Been smoking for a while now, and am v. unhealthy. Sex drive has gone downhill, and can't get it up.

I don't know if it's psychological or physical, and its starting to bother me. This is just during sex, i can masturbate still. Still get hard in the morning. This is really killing me. Help.

Vasco

I had the same thing for awhile. Most people will tell you "to just relax" which is unhelpful because how can you just relax when your not getting it up!!!

I just had to live with it for awhile and started to not really care. If you know you're going to be getting laid I'd lay off the "self abuse" for a few days. Mind you this can back fire if you don't get laid when you thought you were and you walk around like a mad man with a loaded weapon.

I smoke and I believe that this is the main problem. It come and goes for me now but for the most part its all good and when it happens I just laugh it off. Most girls will have come across it before and won't mind. It only becomes a big issue if you make it one. Good luck.

Xiney

Visit your GP - he/she will be able to determine if there is a physical problem you should be aware of, or advise you on how to quit smoking/get fit if you want to go that route. There are even prescriptions out there to help you quit smoking.

Otis Driftwood

Its not a physical thing OP as you can still get it up.You can maintain an erection during masterbation and still get spontaneous erections ie morning wood.That is where impotence kicks in,the lack of spontaneous erections,you dont get it up so you cant get it up and so on however the fact you do get spontaneous erections points to a physological block as opposed to a physical one.

Its possible that subconciously,the fact you feel very unhealthy is stopping you from maintaining an erection when you are with a partner.You feel self concious and unattractive and this is leading to your waning libido.

First port of call is a lifestyle change.Try and quit the smokes (as a smoker myself,I know its easier said than done) eat healthier and try and get some exercise.

If the problem continues after a certain period of time (you will need to give it a few months to have a fair shot at it) then consider seeing your GP about it.

Eve_Dublin

Xiney wrote: »

Visit your GP - he/she will be able to determine if there is a physical problem you should be aware of, or advise you on how to quit smoking/get fit if you want to go that route. There are even prescriptions out there to help you quit smoking.

Yeah...I'm not a doctor but if you're a fairly heavy/heavy smoker, then I'd say it definitely has something to do with it. I don't think us smokers know what exact damage smoking is doing inside us and it's a case of what we can't see won't hurt us...ignorance is bliss etc. Smoking clogs up the arteries which slows down the blood flow through the vessels and as you all know, blood flow is essential for an erection.

I suppose no smoker wants to hear the negatives of our habit and you've already guessed this is more than likely the problem but STILL we think it must be something else. We convince ourselves that smoking is doing is no harm and we blame any physical side-effect on something else. I don't mean to lecture because I am a smoker myself but we have to face the facts that we're never truely "healthy" if we smoke and we can't expect everything to function as normal if we're unhealthy.

Like Xiney says, go to your GP to make sure this is what it is and he'll give you advice on stopping. I've tried everything else so I'm going to give hypnosis a go next personally.

Otis Driftwood

Its not a physical thing,he can still get erections,

This is just during sex, i can masturbate still. Still get hard in the morning.

If he couldnt get it up at all then it may be the smoking but the fact is he cant get/keep it up during sex.

The problem is not physical.

Eve_Dublin

nedtheshed wrote: »

Its not a physical thing,he can still get erections,



If he couldnt get it up at all then it may be the smoking but the fact is he cant get/keep it up during sex.

The problem is not physical.

Well it depends if he's trying to get up after a heavy night on the gargle and fags as a lot of men have trouble then but you're right, it could be psychological and the fact that he's no problem getting it up alone definitely points towards this. Who could help is this instance?

Otis Driftwood

As I said in my first reply

Its possible that subconciously,the fact you feel very unhealthy is stopping you from maintaining an erection when you are with a partner.You feel self concious and unattractive and this is leading to your waning libido.

First port of call is a lifestyle change.Try and quit the smokes (as a smoker myself,I know its easier said than done) eat healthier and try and get some exercise.

If we are out of shape then we feel less attractive,we feel less attractive our sex drive can plummet.What I think is that if the OP can start to feel better in himself,his confidence will come back and bingo bango,he's good to go!

Of course if the problem persists after he gets his physical shape in order then he should speak to a professional (sex therapist possibly,Ive never had this problem thankfully but Id imagine it could be the way to go)

I know its a cliche but healthy body = healthy mind.(ironic coming from a smoker eh)

LegacyUser

Healthy body = healthy mind. Work on your body. Take pride in it and you'll have no worries. Also really get into the act of having sex. it's better if you're with someone you love, you can be that much more into it and enjoy it more, you won't be thinking about your erection, just being with the person you love and you will be going on instinct