First Date - So Nervous

sillyputty

Tomorrow, (saturday) first date, with a guy from work, absolutely bricking it. Never had a first date really, most of my relationships i have sort of fallen into by accident.

Anyway I need your advice, we are going to dinner and then into town for a few drinks. I don't really know much about him so i know moswt of the evening will be taken up by getting to know one another but the nerves are still right there.

How do i let him know im into him without being obvious while also not seeming desperate?

Also any first date disasters? Just in case mine goes terribly wrong - i wont feel so bad!:o

minidazzler

My advice, let him know you are into him by being obvious, Tell him, or kiss him, just something that is definitive so he is not left wondering if you like him.

But I only say that because I can't read signals!!!

YOURFACE!

Janey! I would'nt be jumpin in there with tongues wagging!!!

So you're heading out on a date so there's obviously a mutual attraction there (WOOP!) Just be yourself as thats exactly what attracted him to you in the first place right?
He will be nervous too so you're both in the same boat! Just relax and have fun and wear an outfit that makes you feel great!!

Speaking of dating disaters, when my bf and I went on our first ever dinner date, we were seated at a table beside another couple. It turned out that it was my bf's ex girlfriend with her new fella! I had no idea! hahahaa!

Raze_them_all

minidazzler wrote: »

My advice, let him know you are into him by being obvious, Tell him, or kiss him, just something that is definitive so he is not left wondering if you like him.

But I only say that because I can't read signals!!!

+1 us guys are oblivious to subtle signs. Kiss him...he'll be like putty in your hands!!;)

Novella

minidazzler wrote: »

But I only say that because I can't read signals!!!

No man can!

OP, just relax, be yourself. He'll know you're interested if you take an interest in him, ya know ask questions about him or whatever and smile, smiling is good!

As for date disasters, yeah! Once upon a time, I was going for a lovely walk with a guy in Stephen's Green when a bird did a big poo on my head.

Will

Be yourself, don't put him up on high. Your just getting to know him tomorrow night as ya said, so your feelings may change before the night is up. Hopefully they won't and ya will have a ball.

Snowie

Don't talk about your previous reletionships.

Just have a good time and enjoy the moment.... if things get a bit kissy kissy well even better.....

minidazzler

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Don't talk about your previous reletionships.

Just have a good time and enjoy the moment.... if things get a bit kissy kissy well even better.....

Can't stress how true this is!!! Don't even nervous blabber about it, which I tend to do, if you feel yourself start, excuse yourself to go to the ladies room, take a breath and go back with no talking of past relationships.

Fremen

Flick the bean beforehand.


Well, it works for guys...

minidazzler

Fremen wrote: »

Flick the bean beforehand.


Well, it works for guys...

OP, remember to just enjoy yourself, it's a date, not an execution, no need to be nervous or worried.

Wibbs

OK lets keep the AH stylee posts to a minimum. Terry and the lads(and lass) dislike their copyright being infringed.

itsallaboutheL

minidazzler wrote: »

Can't stress how true this is!!! Don't even nervous blabber about it, which I tend to do, if you feel yourself start, excuse yourself to go to the ladies room, take a breath and go back with no talking of past relationships.

Just to add onto this,

it's especially true if you're not long out of a longish relationship. Alot of your stories etc will involve your ex and you'll find yourself name dropping without even realising.

Absolute mood wrecker

SeekUp

YOURFACE! wrote: »

He will be nervous too so you're both in the same boat! Just relax and have fun and wear an outfit that makes you feel great!!

Just to add to this, wear something that's also comfortable for you -- it's a pain/distracting to wear something that needs pulling/tugging/adjusting all night.

Also, if you tend to babble when you're nervous (as I do in job interviews!), just take a breath/bite/sip and slow down. If there is any initial tension, once it's broken, it'll be smoooooth sailing.

Ah, the first date days. Sometimes I miss the anticipation.

Nervous Wreck

sillyputty wrote: »

How do i let him know im into him without being obvious while also not seeming desperate?

Agree to go on a date with him..... Oh wait....... Sorted!

Faith

SeekUp wrote: »

Ah, the first date days. Sometimes I miss the anticipation.

I know, it's great! I miss the nerves of the early days with my boyfriend, the butterflies, the near-heart attack when he kissed me... Ahh.

Anyway, just be yourself, first and foremost. Plenty of eye contact and smiling is good. Ask him questions about himself. Maybe mention how much you'd been looking forward to the night. Unless you're completely cold and blank him for the night, he'll assume you're interested I'd imagine!

2 stroke

If you're still into him at the end of the night organise the next date before you kiss good night, otherwise tell him you'll see him in work.

misswex

Awww the first date nerves, such a fantastic feeling, the excited and anticipation is so exciting.

I also go with the girls here, just be yourself as he obviously likes what he sees and if there is an opportunity to have a kiss, go for it

Good luck.

sillyputty

Thanks all for the tips, just sorted out what im going to wear - comfortable but dressy.

Butterflies are kicking in, so i guess thats a good sign. I get the impression hes into me - date was originally going to be just coffee but he changed it to dinner yesterday.

My only problem is when i'm nervous i make inappropriate comments and use humour as a defense mechanism so i have been told on many occassions.

Raze_them_all

sillyputty wrote: »

Thanks all for the tips, just sorted out what im going to wear - comfortable but dressy.

Butterflies are kicking in, so i guess thats a good sign. I get the impression hes into me - date was originally going to be just coffee but he changed it to dinner yesterday.

My only problem is when i'm nervous i make inappropriate comments and use humour as a defense mechanism so i have been told on many occassions.

Humour is not a bad thing! I hate women who are not funny. Most guys do.

MizzLolly

Good luck tonight Sillyputty!!

Don't worry about the humour, laugh and smile loads and just enjoy it and you'll have a great time. Don't think too much about the impression you're making, just have fun!

Let us know how it goes

shellyboo

If you use humour as a defence mechanism - then make sure you accept his compliments! If your instinct when he tells you you look nice is to make a joke and wave it away, DON'T!! It's really rude and totally offputting to somene who fancies you... it's like you're dismissing their advances.

If he pays you a compliment, pause, smile, and say thank you. Look genuinely pleased! Basically, let him come onto you... being accepting of his flirting will show him that you're interested.

Apart from that, just be yourself... good luck!

Novella

shellyboo wrote: »

If you use humour as a defence mechanism - then make sure you accept his compliments! If your instinct when he tells you you look nice is to make a joke and wave it away, DON'T!! It's really rude and totally offputting to somene who fancies you... it's like you're dismissing their advances.

If he pays you a compliment, pause, smile, and say thank you. Look genuinely pleased! Basically, let him come onto you... being accepting of his flirting will show him that you're interested.

Apart from that, just be yourself... good luck!

Could not agree more!
If he says you look good or whatever, don't say "Shut up, no, I don't"!! I do that all the time and apparently it's really bad manners! If you do it, he won't bother paying you anymore compliments!

Nothing wrong with the humour thing though, funny is always good.

Good luck, hope you have a great time!

minidazzler

As always Shelly hits the nail smack damn on the head. I will speak for myself because I don't know other lads are like me but anyway, I feel awkward paying compliments and when they get thrown back it feels fairly bad so take it if you like it.

shellyboo

Take it even if you don't like it... take it in the spirit that it's meant!

Just be open to being wooed Let down your defences!

Salome

Oh first date anticipation - there's nothing better!!

Shellyboo hit the nail on the head - accept the compliments and let him woo you.

My advice - have a drink to relax your nerves while you're getting ready but lay off when you're out. Don't get sloshed!

Don't talk about your ex!

Do ask about him, do let him ask about you.

And funny is good. Most of all - just enjoy yourself. He's obviously into you and changing from coffee to dinner is a real sign that he wants to spend time with you rather than ducking out of a quick coffee.

Go forth and be wooed!

SmellySockies

Love the whole beginning of relationship feeling! Im with my boyf only about 2 weeks myself But yeah good luck with the date!

Will

Anyone else here hoping it goes well for her?

here's me on a saturday night wondering how some woman's first date went with a dude, and i know neither of em lol. funny life i live.

Novella

I was actually just thinking I wish I was that girl from tLL who's on a date and not stuck in watching Lee Evans on tv

Will

hopefully he's not a douche, don't wanna have to try hunt down someone i don't know :pac: (a joke I'd never do that)

Novella

Will wrote: »

hopefully he's not a douche, don't wanna have to try hunt down someone i don't know :pac: (a joke I'd never do that)

I'll actually go with you just for something to do!

Cookie Jar

Will wrote: »

Anyone else here hoping it goes well for her?

here's me on a saturday night wondering how some woman's first date went with a dude, and i know neither of em lol. funny life i live.

+1 :pac:

SeekUp

Will wrote: »

Anyone else here hoping it goes well for her?

here's me on a saturday night wondering how some woman's first date went with a dude, and i know neither of em lol. funny life i live.

Same here . . . I'll be checking in for a full report in the morning . . .

Khannie

Will wrote: »

Anyone else here hoping it goes well for her?

here's me on a saturday night wondering how some woman's first date went with a dude, and i know neither of em lol. funny life i live.

You're not alone! Sunday morning and I'm checking in for an update. UPDATE US!

shreksaurus

I've read this thread yesterday. Hope all went well OP. Let us know how you got on.

sillyputty

Ahem - I might take Will up on his offer because turns out - hes a complete douche!

I was really nervous - i had my shower and whilst shaving my legs - i cut my ankle - blood everywhere wouldn't stop, had to put on a huge plaster - very attractive!

Got to dinner, he was about 10 minutes late but all was forgiven, he was nice at dinner, we chatted, got to know one another. Big problem - hes boring, never made me laugh once. I used all my best material - told funny stories the works and he didn't even smile! He spoke about himself the whole time and never once asked about me - (i could probably tell you his grandparents names.)

We went to leave the restaurant and he just asked if i wanted to head into town for a couple - i said sure. Got to the bar had a wee kiss (2 thumbs up for technique) then he spotted one of his mates - spent the next hour standing like a spare wheel while he chatted to his mate with his back to me. I was getting fed up and realised Im just not that into him so i said "im a bit tired - think i might head after this" - his response - "i thought you would come back to mine but whatever ok then see you monday" walked off onto the dancefloor by himself.

On my way out of the bar i spotted my sister and her boyfriend - told them the story - her boyfriend wanted to kick his ass. They bought me a drink, then another, and then some shots then some more (you get the idea) i had such a fantastic time one of my sisters mates even asked me for a drink sometime. I am so hungover, i got up at 10 and i was still drunk i hurt all over.

Im a very nervous kind of person but i don't care about seeing him in work tomorrow because im really not interested - and now i know.

Moral of the story - i see many more first dates in my future!

Clare Bear

Ah fudge it! He sounds like a wet blanket anyway so onwards and upwards my dear. At least you went for it anyway and tried your best. No need to be nervous tomorrow, it didn't work out, it happens

Will

Feck him, you had more craic with your sister and them so all wasn't lost

pm me his name and where you work, il sort him out :pac:

Khannie

What a dick.

Will

Khannie lets wait behind after work for him, by the bike racks :pac:

DenMan

What a plank sillyputty.

In the end you had a great time. Fair play to you.

Nervous Wreck

sillyputty wrote: »

one of my sisters mates even asked me for a drink sometime.

Haha, slick! Sounds like you'd a fun night of it in the end. Yer man's obviously a dope so yer lucky to be well shot of him. Hip hip!

Khannie

Will wrote: »

Khannie lets wait behind after work for him, by the bike racks :pac:

He's claimed!

SeekUp

Well, sounds as if the night wasn't a loss after all . . . well, it was his loss, I'm sure. I can't believe he spent all that time talking to his friend while on a date

Thanks for coming back and letting us know how it went!

daraghmack

Its funny how these things always work themselves out and you end up having an even better night.

Salome

Well, at least you gave it a shot - good on ya for having such a good night after your ditched the eejit. I can't believe he didn't even offer to see you to a taxi. What a "gentleman"....

Onwards and upwards girl!

sillyputty

Quick update - just back from work - He ignored me the whole day - good times!
Didn't even acknowledge my existence.

shellyboo

Wow. What a catch.

Bullet dodged, sillyputty!

Will

so he's an arsehóle to boot?

life's too short to be worrying about muppets like that

G86

sillyputty wrote: »

Quick update - just back from work - He ignored me the whole day - good times!
Didn't even acknowledge my existence.

Plonker, good riddance! So here whats the story with the other guy you met then?????;) Onwards and upwards m'dear!:cool:

panda100

Uh what is wrong with some men these days!! What a douchebag.

Salome

I can't believe he was surprised that you didn't want to go home with him!!!

Bullet dodged. Big time.