Sister in law taking the p**s

memo_to_all

My wife is at her wits end. Basically her sister is a single mother who seems to be enjoying the life of Rielly at the expense of all around her...and the system!

When she seperated from her partner everyone rallied..helping her here and there, but now she is just taking the proverbial. She did have a fairly secure full time job, untill a dickiebird informed here that if she went to work part-time she could claim a type of welfare supplement and she would end up better off...so thats exactly what she did...she jacked in the full time post and is claiming family income support.

At a maintenence hearing recently the judge ordered her ex to pay x amount towards childcare every week...but she now has her mother minding the child and she is pocketing the money each week. when he was made redundent he stopped apying the full amount..and she had him in front of the judge quicker than a hot snot!!

but the wrost thing is she uses that money to go out every weekend and then posts all the pics on her Beebo site..I mean talk about rubbing his nose in it. Anyway she off now on a 2 week holiday to Majorca...but what riled my wife was that she started bragging about how great it was having a medical card...that she go down the doctor and not pay a cent.

This is not sour grapes on our part...myself and my wife pay out €500 per week in tax, we pay huge money in VHI, life insurance, life assurance, pensions and savings funds for our kids...so that we make provisions for ill health, death, retirement. we cant afford to go out EVERY weekend like this girl does..in fact we re not even going on holiday this year so as to save that extra few bob.

When we try to talk to the family about how off the wall her way of life is and how we dont want to be a part of that we get ****ted on..more so my wife. her parents even stated recently that my wife had a bad attitude to her sister and needed to cop her self on...I mean it took alot then for me not to wade in...but what should she do??

LegacyUser

memo_to_all wrote: »

When we try to talk to the family about how off the wall her way of life is and how we dont want to be a part of that we get ****ted on..more so my wife. her parents even stated recently that my wife had a bad attitude to her sister and needed to cop her self on...I mean it took alot then for me not to wade in...but what should she do??

I don't think there's anything ye can do. I can totally understand how annoyed you are, I feel the exact same way about a lot of people myself but our generous social welfare system allows people to live like that.

Working people just cannot compete with the social welfare system. I had a person who claims disability benefit look down on me for being poor this week because I couldn't afford to join her on an expensive day trip.

hungryhippo

memo_to_all wrote: »

...This is not sour grapes on our part...

This is exactly what it appears to be. Does she owe you or your wife any money? Does she dump the child on you to be minded? I don´t see how its anything to do with you. Of course the welfare state is a p1sser for the taxpayer, but there are tens of thousands more like her.

LegacyUser

True many others are doing the same. The recession seems to be creating a serious divide and a lot of resentment between employed and unemployed people.

evogirl

sorry to be rude, but what has it got to do with you how she lives her life?

the part that annoyed me was when you said she pockets the money she gets from her ex and uses it to go out. is she not entitled to a social life because she's a single mother?
im sure she's not spending the money at the expense of her childs wellbeing.

your post sounds to me like nothing but sour grapes.

herya

evogirl wrote: »

the part that annoyed me was when you said she pockets the money she gets from her ex and uses it to go out. is she not entitled to a social life because she's a single mother?

AFAIK maintenance money is to pay for kids needs not the mother's?

OP you can either report her for welfare fraud if you have grounds and guts for it or give it up and stop thinking about her. She sounds like a horrible person all right and I'm sad to think she's getting my taxes but the only thing you can do is cut the contact if you can't stand her.

evogirl

herya wrote: »

AFAIK maintenance money is to pay for kids needs not the mother's?

you can be sure that the cost of rearing a child on your own is a hell of a lot more than any court ordered maintainence. :rollseyes:

what im saying is, once the childs needs are met (and the op didnt mention any neglect)the parent is entitled to some sort of life too?


btw on what grounds can she be reported for fraud?

Overheal

evogirl wrote: »

you can be sure that the cost of rearing a child on your own is a hell of a lot more than any court ordered maintainence. :rollseyes:

btw on what grounds can she be reported for fraud?

Childcare is care for the Child, not party money.

Sure didnt me own ma just let my sister move out when she was 15, and she is still collecting the cheques, several years later. Child Services dont investigate anything - it employs a bunch of women case workers to do the He-Said-She-Said over the phone. Guess how they normally vote.

Its enough to boil the blood alright. I say document the photos or at least make her ex husband aware that he should be shadowing her bebo - he may be able to use it to make a better custody case.

She can go part time like that all she wants, but Id have an issue with the childcare money.

evogirl

basically what this thread is about then is that single parents should not be allowed to spend a cent on anything other than the child?

blondie7

memo_to_all wrote: »

This is not sour grapes on our part...myself and my wife pay out €500 per week in tax, we pay huge money in VHI, life insurance, life assurance, pensions and savings funds for our kids...so that we make provisions for ill health, death, retirement. we cant afford to go out EVERY weekend like this girl does..in fact we re not even going on holiday this year so as to save that extra few bob.

€5i00 a week tax is a bit excessive, me and my other oh together pay about a 1/5 of that??

report her i cant stand people milking the system like her sooner the better they bring in cuts to the social

Overheal

evogirl wrote: »

basically what this thread is about then is that single parents should not be allowed to spend a cent on anything other than the child?

Well she's not a teenager or a college student. Going out every weekend is frankly excessive. Especially when youre income is mainly comprised of handouts.

on a sidenote...

herya

memo_to_all wrote: »

Anyway she off now on a 2 week holiday to Majorca...but what riled my wife was that she started bragging about how great it was having a medical card...that she go down the doctor and not pay a cent.

Next time she brags like that your wife should say "yeah I know it's my own tax funding you, see what happens to you after the welfare reform. Take photos now to reminisce in the years to come".

Bb4sure

Shes working the system, fair play to her. She should spend more time with her child though thats the only thing thats wrong, I'm sure she isn't spending all her money on partying and I'm sure she is tending her childs financial needs. You can choose to work hard make your money pay this and that for satisfaction of making your own way. Shes working part-time, getting benefits off the state, more time to spend recreationally. I say well done, more people should use there head and work out a similar system. The goverment has screwed us over time and time again and will always continue to do so. Screw them back.

pinc

I am on OPFA and I can't understand how this woman is going out every w/end. It defies belief. My son gets maintenance from his dad but I never go out-can't afford to.I get 197.00 weekly from state plus 75.00 from father.Go figure.
Something wrong somewhere with this post if this woman is living it up as OP states.
If I didn't have a medical card my son would be dead. End of.
I'm not milking the system-I'm trying to survive.I live in a mobile home as I can't afford to rent because maintenance is calculated as rent.Don't effing tell me I'm milking it cos it just isn't true.
I have nothing.

Moomoo1

OP - it sounds like your sister-in-law is just trying to do the best for herself and her children. There is nothing wrong with her receiving welfare, so I don't see how she is taking your taxes illiegally. Plus, if the law changed and her welfare were cut, you can bet your bottom euro that your taxes wouldn't go down: the money would just disappear down some filfthy rich person's pocket.

I take the view that any individual is fully entitled to take any money from the System that he can, by any means. Because the System wouldn't think twice about screwing us over, we shouldn't think twice about screwing the System. People like your sister in law are small fry compared to the many filfthy rich people who avoid taxes through offshore banking: it's those people we should be after, not your sister in law.

The difference between you and her is simple: you save money for the future, she does not. You make sure you will have something saved up for the black day, she spends it now on holidays and going out. That's how she gets all the extra cash that you don't have. Ok, you might say it's irresponsible, but does it make her a monster? It does not.

I fully agree with your wife's parents: if your wife were my daughter I'd tell her to cop herself on too.

LegacyUser

memo_to_all wrote: »

When she seperated from her partner everyone rallied..helping her here and there, but now she is just taking the proverbial. She did have a fairly secure full time job, untill a dickiebird informed here that if she went to work part-time she could claim a type of welfare supplement and she would end up better off...so thats exactly what she did...she jacked in the full time post and is claiming family income support.

OP you cant blame her for this. She has a family she needs to spend time with. If you were a single mother and someone told you that you were better of part time would you keep the full time job?

herya

Moomoo1 wrote: »

I take the view that any individual is fully entitled to take any money from the System that he can, by any means. Because the System wouldn't think twice about screwing us over, we shouldn't think twice about screwing the System.

That's the difference in our thinking - the System is not an evil pod from outer space, at the end of the day it's me and you (if you pay taxes). Although governed by f***wits that's for sure. The net is there for people who genuinely fell on hard times not for those who happily make it their lifestyle (then pass this attitude to their children). She might be small fry all right but it's the ratio of milkers to contributors that counts - it amazes me that people support milkers like you do and then go on to complain about taxes in one conversation.

I agree that there is not much the OP can do and they should simply ignore her but I can see how it's annoying if she's pushing it in their faces.

SueWho

There is just nothing you can do. She has a lifestyle that you don't agree with but as another poster said, if she doesn't owe you and your wife money and she's not leaving the child in your house then really you have no say over what she does.

If she's committing fraud then that's a different matter- that's up to you whether you feel comfortable reporting her.

All you can do is take solace from the fact that you are hard working and honest and some day will probably own your home outright, have good savings to give your children a college education and you'll have a good pension too. I can predict already who'll have the last laugh- her fun is temporary!!!!

Dravokivich

Bb4sure wrote: »

Shes working the system, fair play to her. She should spend more time with her child though thats the only thing thats wrong, I'm sure she isn't spending all her money on partying and I'm sure she is tending her childs financial needs. You can choose to work hard make your money pay this and that for satisfaction of making your own way. Shes working part-time, getting benefits off the state, more time to spend recreationally. I say well done, more people should use there head and work out a similar system. The goverment has screwed us over time and time again and will always continue to do so. Screw them back.

Please forgive me for going off topic here but I couldn't hold myself not to comment on this response...

Screwing the government screwing us, is screwing us FURTHER!

Again apologies...


Edit:

Right... don't intend to be bashing people... but also in general

@ pinc / Moomoo1:

OP's post mentioned that this woman quit a full time - well paid job with prospects for further advancement... Also states she took no notice of her ex's financial status.

HE IS NOT

generalising all people that claim....

- Drav!

Moomoo1

herya wrote: »

That's the difference in our thinking - the System is not an evil pod from outer space, at the end of the day it's me and you (if you pay taxes). Although governed by f***wits that's for sure. The net is there for people who genuinely fell on hard times not for those who happily make it their lifestyle (then pass this attitude to their children). She might be small fry all right but it's the ratio of milkers to contributors that counts - it amazes me that people support milkers like you do and then go on to complain about taxes in one conversation.

I agree that there is not much the OP can do and they should simply ignore her but I can see how it's annoying if she's pushing it in their faces.

The System might just as well be an evil pod from outer space. It's not me and you: it's a load of people in power deciding how things should be. They claim to represent us, but in truth they don't.

Suppose the welfare law changes and this girl's welfare is cut. What will happen? Will your taxes go down? I would say they will not, ie you will receive no direct benefit of this cut in welfare.

Hence we get to the bolded bit. I don't see any contradiction there. The truth is, there are plenty of rich people who avoid tax via offshore banking, and their tax % isn't high enough anyway. Furthermore, governments waste money on all sorts of things, pour away millions and millions down the drain. Defence overspending, badly thought out public projects, white elephants, you name it. A lot of the time they do it because they have friends in the companies they give contracts to.

It's that that's the real problem. A woman claiming welfare she can do without isn't raising your taxes by a significant amount, no matter what government propaganda says.

Nevyn

The break up of a long term relationship and the breaking up of a family is hard that's a lot of heartache, hopes and dreams shattered, fears for the future and parenting alone is not easy.

Ever stop to think that she is pretty miserable and trying keep herself busy and distracted while she is in a state of panic mentally and emotionally about all that has happened?

Why not suggest that she goes to talk to someone and gets some help and support rather then condemning her with out looking at the possible root reasons.

Moomoo1

Dravokivich wrote: »

OP's post mentioned that this woman quit a full time - well paid job with prospects for further advancement... Also states she took no notice of her ex's financial status.

yeah, she quite a full time job to spend more time with her kids. What a horrible mother, she should have just let her children fend for themselves whilst she worked from 9 to 5.

and I know lots of parents do just that. Can't be great for the kids though.

herya

Moomoo1 wrote: »

Hence we get to the bolded bit. I don't see any contradiction there. The truth is, there are plenty of rich people who avoid tax via offshore banking, and their tax % isn't high enough anyway. Furthermore, governments waste money on all sorts of things, pour away millions and millions down the drain.

So it's OK to rob if others murder. The problem is that system wise crowds of thieves might be worse than single murderers.

Moomoo1 wrote: »

yeah, she quite a full time job to spend more time with her kids. What a horrible mother, she should have just let her children fend for themselves whilst she worked from 9 to 5.

From what they say one of the main gripes is that kids are dumped on the family and she's out spending handouts.

iguana

She is a single mother working part time and receiving income supplement which she is entitled to. The reason the income supplement is there is to allow the children to have the only parents who is taking full responsibility for them there for them, instead of having to spend the whole week at work. Yet you object to her ex having to support his family because that money allows her to enjoy a social life. What do you think he does with the rest of his money and all the time he no longer spends with his family?

As for the medical card, I live in the UK and can often be heard talking about how great it is that I can see the doctor for free and pay less than £8 for any and all prescriptions I'm given. I'm off to a physiotherapy appointment in a minute and it's costing me the sum total of £0 and it's brilliant. Free medical care is wonderful, no wonder your sister-in-law is pleased that she doesn't have to worry about the cost if she or her child gets sick. That's a huge burden to be lifted off her, and it sounds like she is very grateful for it.

I could understand your wife being a bit annoyed if she is taking advantage of their mother with regards to childcare. If one of my brothers had my mum mind their kids I'd be very annoyed if they weren't paying her a reasonable wage for this - or at least treating her to gifts if she refused cash. But that's the only real reason you have to be annoyed.

blairbear

If she was working full time she'd either be crippling herself for childcare or having to further encroach on her mother's good will to take care of the child. Sounds like she made a sensible decision to be honest.

Darthhoob

herya wrote: »

So it's OK to rob if others murder. The problem is that system wise crowds of thieves might be worse than single murderers.



From what they say one of the main gripes is that kids are dumped on the family and she's out spending handouts.

dumped? it seems that the OP's mother in law is happy to have the kids whilst his sister in law goes out. if she is happy with it...why isn't he?
it's not him babysitting afterall.

when i was a single mum i too cut my hours to part time, as will my high earning friend when she goes back to work (though she is married)..as do millions of other women. they do it cos they want to take care of the kids they have themselves and not dump them on strangers all day every day. at least she IS working!! she could easily just be on full benefits. sure she goes out every weekend, but who is to say that it's the ex's money?? no mention of neglect in the OP's post so i assume the child is cared for and paid for enough...and that takes more than maintainence allows. so after she spent maintenance and some of her own money on the kids...why not spend some on herself if she has a babysitter..who is happy to babysit?

i just find this is a little bit more about jealousy tbh.

puglover

It's nothing short of sour grapes. I'm as much annoyed with people abusing the social welfare system as the next person but it doesn't sound to me like she is abusing it at all.

The poor girl has come out of a long term relationship and you expect her to sit at home every weekend on her own???

You and your wife are obviously at home playing happy families and keeping each other company, safe in the knowledge that you have each other and are financially secure for the forseeable future. Whats it to you if she wants to have a bit of a life, and maybe the possibility of meetin g someone else??

What she does with her money is her business. I am sure she paid enough taxes herself over the years and she is ENTITLED to claim what she can now that her situation has changed.

Dravokivich

Moomoo1 wrote: »

yeah, she quite a full time job to spend more time with her kids. What a horrible mother, she should have just let her children fend for themselves whilst she worked from 9 to 5.

and I know lots of parents do just that. Can't be great for the kids though.

As I also said...

Dravokivich wrote: »

HE IS NOT

generalising all people that claim....

- Drav!

You are generalising... he has shown that this woman in this instance has manipulated her circumstances to benefit herself...

OP Has stated that the kids are always with the grandmother...

Moomoo1 wrote: »

Suppose the welfare law changes and this girl's welfare is cut. What will happen? Will your taxes go down? I would say they will not, ie you will receive no direct benefit of this cut in welfare.

When OP referenced his taxes... he was trying to advise of the financial situation he was going through with his wife and compare it to his sister in law. He has no expectation of getting it back...

That to me shows that this couple are acting responsibly and was the point he was tryign to get forward.

To me it seems clear that any money this woman getting is being splashed with no regard for the future... As i mentioned earlier, with no regard for her Ex either who is currently UNEMPLOYED! How the hell was he meant to pay up when he's got nothing coming in? This woman is just taking as much as she can... If you don't wish to recognise the possiblity of that, so be it.

But please... don't take my opinion on this situation as a generalised belief on Social Welfare on the large. Alot of poeple need and require it... i acknowledge that, but you don't splash it around as if it's "Free Money," anyone who does should not be on Social Welfare.

- Drav!

LegacyUser

I'm a single mum. My son is now 9.

When he was newborn, I had NO support. If somone called around, I'd ask if they could keep their eye on him while I ran to the shops. Very seldom did anyone suggest that I could drop him off while I did the shopping, (in their eyes, me going to the shops with baby was nothing, in my eyes it was very stressful) so I would take any opportunity to get out for half an hour if someone dropped by, without having to pack a bag to bring baby to the local supermarket. In my mind, I wasn't taking advantage of anyone. In my mind, I was doing the shopping in half an hour and getting some breathing space, and if I'd brought baby with me, it would have taken me an hour and a half (between getting him ready etc).

But it got back to me that someone in my family put the word out that everytime she arrived, I went out. and that I just wanted anyone who dropped around to mind the baby. She encouraged people not to drop around because I only really wanted to see people to mind the baby. Most people didn't listen to her because they knew that that half hour on my own at the supermarket, was for my sanity.

What I'm trying to say OP is that it's all about perspective. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Being a single parent, is doubly hard. She is not defrauding anyone. She is getting out at weekends for her sanity. I wish I had the money to do what she does and wish I could get out at weekends...but you really should be thinking of this from her perspective. Perhaps she is taking the p*ss sometimes. Btw, the maintenance order would not soley have been to cover the childs daycare. It would have been calucated on the upkeep of the child, which would have included food/roof over head/clothing etc. So the money she gets from her ex goes into her weekly budget which covers all costs for the child, not just the childcare.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm a single mum. My son is now 9.

When he was newborn, I had NO support. If somone called around, I'd ask if they could keep their eye on him while I ran to the shops. Very seldom did anyone suggest that I could drop him off while I did the shopping, (in their eyes, me going to the shops with baby was nothing, in my eyes it was very stressful) so I would take any opportunity to get out for half an hour if someone dropped by, without having to pack a bag to bring baby to the local supermarket. In my mind, I wasn't taking advantage of anyone. In my mind, I was doing the shopping in half an hour and getting some breathing space, and if I'd brought baby with me, it would have taken me an hour and a half (between getting him ready etc).

But it got back to me that someone in my family put the word out that everytime she arrived, I went out. and that I just wanted anyone who dropped around to mind the baby. She encouraged people not to drop around because I only really wanted to see people to mind the baby. Most people didn't listen to her because they knew that that half hour on my own at the supermarket, was for my sanity.

What I'm trying to say OP is that it's all about perspective. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Being a single parent, is doubly hard. She is not defrauding anyone. She is getting out at weekends for her sanity. I wish I had the money to do what she does and wish I could get out at weekends...but you really should be thinking of this from her perspective. Perhaps she is taking the p*ss sometimes. Btw, the maintenance order would not soley have been to cover the childs daycare. It would have been calucated on the upkeep of the child, which would have included food/roof over head/clothing etc. So the money she gets from her ex goes into her weekly budget which covers all costs for the child, not just the childcare.

I agree entirely with your post, I am a single mother and I have had the same treatment with some of my family members, the worst of it from my sister-in-law. Sneering, gossiping, telling lies about me and up until recently using me as a babysitter to her two kids while they had some couple time. I have woken up though and saw what she is really all about and money is her first love. I dont have any more than her but with the recession and things getting tight for her, (still well off compared to me) she has focused her anger at me. I have never received 1 cent maintenance from the father of my two children even after court hearings and judgements. It was ruled that he pay 100 euro per week, that was 8 years ago and I havent had anything from him, not a birthday card for kids not a christmas present. OP you are very judgemental and so it your wife. It sounds like your sister is doing the best that she can in her circumstances and so what if she has a night out a week, she is lucky that she can cause most of us in the single mother category cant afford to do that. why do you begrudge her so much?? Concentrate on your own family, I hope that you never break up and end up being a single parent, it's nothing to envy...... you both sound so very resentful, can you imagine the repercussions should you and your wife break up, so look after your own household and it is really none of your business if your sister goes out on the town or not. She isnt asking your permission and she dosent have to either! She is entitled to what she gets and she is also entitled to the maintainence she receives, she also works part time and spends time with her child........ swap places with her and you will then know what its all about.

Moomoo1

herya wrote: »

So it's OK to rob if others murder. The problem is that system wise crowds of thieves might be worse than single murderers.

...but if you look at the monetary cost to the country, a few 'bad' people at the top can do a lot more damage than a horde of bogus single mothers.

herya wrote: »

From what they say one of the main gripes is that kids are dumped on the family and she's out spending handouts.

the family seems pretty happy to look after the kids though? Are you saying single mothers can't EVER go out?

we'llallhavetea_old

sorry op, but it really does sound like sour grapes! its one thing to think "humph, this one's having the time of her life, i wish i had that" its another thing to let it get to you so much that you feel the need to start a thread on it. (i;m not giving out because you started a thread, i'm just pointing out that it annoys you so much you felt the need to start one)

Bottle_of_Smoke

Moomoo1 wrote: »

the family seems pretty happy to look after the kids though? Are you saying single mothers can't EVER go out?

No one said that. I will say she shouldn't be going out every weekend and a foreign holiday when the child's father was made redundant. She might not be able to depend on family forever and should be saving her money for the child.

My friends(a couple) are in their early 20s and have three kids. They only go out at birthdays and the odd special occasion because they care about their kid's futures. Maybe by the logic of this comments on this thread they should quit their jobs, party it up and let the state step in.

LegacyUser

OP dont worry come budget time 2010
welfare will be hit and her party will be over with a bang,
unfortunately for those that actually need it to keep their heads above water will be in the same sinking ship.

Dublin141

I hope if any of my siblings lives change so drastically that I will be there for them when they are obviously hurting rather than begrudge them because their lives appear easier. It's hard to be a single parent, not having the support of another person there. It's a lot easier to get through hard times with the company of others and that's what it sounds like to me, she's spending time with her friends to help her get over it. Her relationship broke down, of course she was going to make changes. It most certainly sounds like sour grapes.

My partner lost his job a couple of months ago because the company basically went bankrupt, we have four children. We are better off than a lot of people because we don't live too far beyond our means but we are relying on jobseeker benefit and children's allowance. We can't afford to go out and we haven't been able to afford that for a long time even when he was working. We have never had a family holiday. If your sister in law can manage to live it up for a while, so what? She can't sustain it. You don't know if she's getting into debt or what. Yet you judge her. Her parents don't feel like they are being taken advantage of. How is it changing your life? It isn't. She's blowing off some steam, she can't do it forever so give her a break while she's getting over it.

By the way, she could be spending every cent of maintenance she gets on her child. Just because she is having a social life right now doesn't mean that she's spending her child's money. We don't know how she budgets her money, she could have leftovers with her wages to go out with. Drinks could be bought for her. None of us know what she's spending.

seahorse

Sounds to me like the OP's wife is dissatisfied with her own life. That's usually the case when a person indulges the fantasy that the grass is greener on the other side. Can’t imagine how bad things'd have to be though to idealise the life of a single mother on benefits!

Kidchameleon

Hi OP,

Life puts us in certain situations. Your sister in law has lost her partner, one result of this is that she has an extra few quid, so what?. She may be working less hours a week in her job BUT bringing up a child is a full time job in itself (24/7). If she had a choice of life situations, which would she choose, her life as it is now or a happy family life like you have it?

LegacyUser

OP I'm going to go against the trend here and say I hear ya! It sounds like sour grapes on your part but I'm guessing it's not. Your problem is basically that this woman is living a great life on the basis that she had a child. While you have kids and are being responsible about bringing them up and are paying into the system like every law-abiding person in the country. The complaint isn't so much that she's having a great time, but more that she's using tax payer's money and doing nothing in return, AND making a career out of it.
Is she bringing the kid with her to Majorca? That would say a lot. She sounds to me like someone who knows all about her rights and nothing at all about her responsibilities. Of course she's allowed go out and have a life. But is she blowing the money she gets from the system to do this regularly and expensively, and what is she doing for the kid? Is she using any of this money for the kid? That's a large part of the question too.
Basically OP, I'd bite my tongue and not engage on conversations about medical cards or anything else. Change the subject. The likelihood is that social welfare will be slashed fairly soon, because we simply can't afford it any more. Things are going to get more difficult for her in the very near future. If this happens and she's still having a party lifestyle, then it might be time to get annoyed - and more on behalf of her child than anything else.
As for everyone else, all it takes is for people like us to sit back and say "ah sure doesn't she deserve it" for this kind of milking the system to continue being as rampant as it is. It's easy to turn a blind eye.

we'llallhavetea_old

hi op, i was thinkin bout this thread last night and today.
i'm a single parent, i work the weekends and earn €100 doing that.
obviously i'm entitled to lone parents allowance and all the rest.
i live in a council estate. i drive a 15 yr old car (i do love it though)

my sister, is married with two kids. she doesn't work but her husband does.
he's on great wages, she is on sick benefit.
they have a mortgage on their own fabulous house in the country.
they have a 3 yr old people carrier and another 10 yr old car.

i have more spare money during the week to get the odd top or nice clothes for my daughter. i go out about once every 2 months (although i did have a recent rampage of twice in one month - wuhoo!)

my sister and brother in-law dont go out, although they could if they wanted to.

my sister begrudges me my lone parents allowance, the back to school clothing allowance and fuel allowance etc.

i on the other hand am happy for her, its great she has a nice house and car (i genuinely am, sure i'm up there the whole time, its fab!!)

the point i'm trying to make is this;
it may seem that i'm better off, because yes, i spend more money on my daughters clothes, toys etc. and i get to buy myself clothes too (these are cheap tops - but that doesnt matter to her!) HOWEVER!!! i dont own my own home, i drive cars that aren't going to last very long and i dont have the luxury of being able to get a mortgage right now.
of course i would prefer to have all these things, but the fact of the matter is that its not possible because i am majorly worse off financially than my sister.

is this similiar to your sister in laws situation?? if so, look at it from my point if view!!