Racial preference against myself?

LegacyUser

Ok, weird one for you.
I'm originally from China but have lived in Dublin since I was 3 years old. So I look Chinese but am essentially Irish in culture/personality. A nice friend of mine was recently trying to pay me a compliment by saying how nice I was and how was I still single?

Well I got thinking and I thought maybe some part of this is because is a significant proportion of Irish women "don't see me that way". I'm not calling these people racist because when I thought about it I don't see Chinese people that way either. I usually assume they speak crap English and own takeaways/work in Spar.

If I'm Asian and I can't be so prejudiced surely the Irish can too. How would you feel about being in a mixed-race relationship? If I'm perfectly honest, I'd only go out with a non-caucasian race if they were raised in a Western culture (like myself) but even then it would take quite a leap to see them outside the ethnic stereotypes I've gotten used to. When it comes to romantic or sexual relations how do others feel about racial preference? (again, it's NOT racism, I believe attraction isn't a choice, you like what you like)

ceannair06

irishasian wrote: »

Ok, weird one for you.
I'm originally from China but have lived in Dublin since I was 3 years old. So I look Chinese but am essentially Irish in culture/personality. A nice friend of mine was recently trying to pay me a compliment by saying how nice I was and how was I still single?

Well I got thinking and I thought maybe some part of this is because is a significant proportion of Irish women "don't see me that way". I'm not calling these people racist because when I thought about it I don't see Chinese people that way either. I usually assume they speak crap English and own takeaways/work in Spar.

If I'm Asian and I can't be so prejudiced surely the Irish can too. How would you feel about being in a mixed-race relationship? If I'm perfectly honest, I'd only go out with a non-caucasian race if they were raised in a Western culture (like myself) but even then it would take quite a leap to see them outside the ethnic stereotypes I've gotten used to. When it comes to romantic or sexual relations how do others feel about racial preference? (again, it's NOT racism, I believe attraction isn't a choice, you like what you like)

I think that a lot of people may hold views but are scared to be seen as racist.

I prefer pale looking guys, fair/red hair, blue/green eyes - it's just my type. I don't go for dark haired guys, dark skinned etc.

Now I think that's just a preference - like lads going for blondes or not redheads.

I mentioned this though to someone when discussing Obama (of all people!) and I commented that I could see he was handsome but I'd never fancy anyone that type. I was called a racist!

I wouldn't feel guilty for how you feel.

LegacyUser

Maybe you just don't find Asian guys attractive, my wife doesn't either. She doesn't find Indian dudes that attractive either, but she thinks a lot of black and white men are stunning looking. I think Asian girls are stunning, but I am not that attractive to black girls.

Don't blame you for going unreg for this, I am too... Too many schoolkids on holidays ready to lambast you for not finding certain races attractive. It's just the way you are.

YozzerHughes

My wife is of Indian origin but raised European and I totally understand what you're saying as would she. She is attracted to tall Caucasian men (go me). I'm attracted to short women with dark skin. Well being honest I'm attracted to most women but that would be my "type" if you know what I mean.

I don't think it's racist at all. I just think it's the way people are. However, and I know it's a cliche I think people will see beauty that they didn't see in the first place when they get to know you.

LegacyUser

irishasian wrote: »

Well I got thinking and I thought maybe some part of this is because is a significant proportion of Irish women "don't see me that way".

You could be right, for this generation but Im hoping this is going to 'wash out' as the present generation grows up!

Because we badly need the goodlooking genes to be mixed into our Irish 'looks' lol

I wouldn't think of a Chinese man that way either, but for the following shallow reason which I will admit. I am quite tall and although slim at the moment I tend twords being a bit chubby. I could become a size 14 easily or if I proper let go or got pregnant I could balloon to a 16 no problem.

So there is no way I could look to a Chinese man. I mean their standard is size 6 girls with perfect skin and no purple blotches or cellulite! I couldn't compete and would not imagine I could be a good match!

I wonder if I am alone thinking this way...I am imagining if I was smaller and petite then I would be open to a Chinese man.

I hope I have not said anything rude or out of order. I know it is a generalisation to say Chinese men are shorter. Correct me if I am wrong....

Dublin141

Having grown up in an area where there were a good few families like yours (i.e., parents moved over here and children consider themselves Irish because they have spent most of their lives here) I can honestly say that (for me) it wouldn't be a problem. I would consider you Irish, how you look wouldn't really make much of a difference unless I genuinely wasn't physically attracted to how you look. If that makes sense.

I like dark hair and eyes but I ended up with a fair blue eyed boy so I don't really think that types matter much. I don't think it's racist to not be attracted to someone because of how they look or where they are from. If there were two really lovely looking men talking to me in a pub and one was from Ireland and the other from any other country in the world, I would have more in common with the Irish one (regardless of what they look like) so would probably gravitate towards that one...maybe cos it's easier.

I'm really tired so may not be making any sense but my point (I think) is, we are brought up to like who our friends like and for most of us, that is people we know, who live in our area, etc. So it makes sense for you to feel that way...kinda. There are always the exceptions And just thinking about it, a Chinese girl I know always tells me she'd love to be blonde and fairskinned and blue eyed because the men she knows love that so...

DeCoR18

I'd go out with a girl of a different race, but I wouldn't like to have children with them.

CathyMoran

If anything I always had a preference for Chinese men - I went to a multinational school and I guess that it stuck. I am however happily married to a lovely typical Irish guy. One of my friends who is ethnic Chinese is happily engaged to an Irish girl and another married a lovely Scotish lady.

I personally do not see any harm in having a type - everyone does.

petes

I know it's not really on the topic but OP have you asked anyone out and received reactions like this?

LegacyUser

irishasian wrote: »

Ok, weird one for you.
I'm originally from China but have lived in Dublin since I was 3 years old. So I look Chinese but am essentially Irish in culture/personality. A nice friend of mine was recently trying to pay me a compliment by saying how nice I was and how was I still single?

Well I got thinking and I thought maybe some part of this is because is a significant proportion of Irish women "don't see me that way". I'm not calling these people racist because when I thought about it I don't see Chinese people that way either. I usually assume they speak crap English and own takeaways/work in Spar.

If I'm Asian and I can't be so prejudiced surely the Irish can too. How would you feel about being in a mixed-race relationship? If I'm perfectly honest, I'd only go out with a non-caucasian race if they were raised in a Western culture (like myself) but even then it would take quite a leap to see them outside the ethnic stereotypes I've gotten used to. When it comes to romantic or sexual relations how do others feel about racial preference? (again, it's NOT racism, I believe attraction isn't a choice, you like what you like)

I think what you say is accurate: we all makes assessments of people based on their looks and culture and part of that is of course their skin colour. It is absurd saying this is racist in the context of every other physical feature and cultural attribute undergoing a similar assessment. But let me be racist about it. Asian birds can have the nicest cutest faces on the planet - adorable. They just exude sexyness in many cases. However, faces do not really do it for me first and foremost. Maybe if I fell for them then such deep spiritual attributes would come into play. Like most men, I am simple. I look for two gorgeous peaches! So I look around and I discriminate even against beautiful Irish girls who do not have those two gorgeous peaches. Perhaps I am a boobist, but whatever it is I know I discriminate against and in favour of a huge range of things every day of my life. There are plenty of guys who hate big boobs and go for that slender sleek Parisian look in women and they discriminate accordingly, that's their discrimination. I expect other people also discriminate against/in favour of me.

Now, if you are a culturally Irish girl who happens to be of Asian origin that, unlike my boob requirement, would not rule you out for me. If anything it would make you that bit more enigmatic (and I'd hope you'd be fluent in Chinese nonetheless as the kids would have a super headstart on everybody around them). So if I met you at a party and you were sound as a pound I'd be more fascinated with you because you would be more of a novelty as far as my experiences extend: a native Irish girl of Chinese extraction.

But being raised in Irish culture definitely matters to me. It would be harder if you were raised in the culture of another European country, harder still if you were Asian and hardest of all if you were African. I cannot imagine ever being with an African woman simply because the socio-economic and cultural values would be absent in most cases. If they - eg university education, work ethic, acceptance of the culture here - were present and she was sound then I would look at her more favourably as she clearly has the ambition and drive to excel.

Ideally, I'd love to marry a French or German bird because the kids would be brought up with at least three languages, and I'd love to learn either of those languages. But I wouldn't even look at them unless they fulfilled by original physical requirements. They probably wouldn't even look at me because I'm a culchie!

Otis Driftwood

Its nothing to do with racism OP,you have a certain type of person you are attracted to,thats all.
You are a product of your environment,same as we all are - you grew up in Ireland,were predominatly surrounded by caucasions so of coure you are going to be attracted to certain races more than others.
I personally think Asian women are stunning but women of say Middle Eastern descent do nothing for me.
Does that make me racist?
Not in the slightest!

To put it simply,it comes down to whoever floats your boat.

LegacyUser

This has got me thinking and I have to say that I like every race of women. I love asian, black, white.... mind you I can't say that the aborigine (oz) girls do it for me.

Eve_Dublin

I know my tastes in men are never consistant and it depends on who floats my boat at the time. My so-called set taste in men has changed down the years and it's always been the case that if I was actually WITH someone in the physical sense and enjoyed it, I found my taste would be for men of that ilk. I've become borderline obsessed with the "latin look" after spending a year in Latin America when I was more into the pasty-faced, black haired, blue eyed rugged Irish look before I left (because my ex, the last man I was with before I went travelling, had all of these attributes). Then I got to Colombia and it had more of a mix of races and I hung out with this gorgeous black Colombian guy for a week or so...and then I found myself checking out all the black men (sorry to be so Irish about my generalisations) after that who I might not have noticed before. That's what I've noticed about myself personally.

Up to that point, I only went out with white (very white) men...not for lack of want of something different but just because that's all I knew within my social circle and places where I'd socialise. They were a safe bet...nothing beyond the norm and I suppose that suited me at the time. Now that I've had a taste for the...eh...exotic...well I'm not single now anyway so it doesn't matter

I've never been around too many Chinese men tbh. I've always found in every city I live in that they tend to keep to themselves and they don't tend to be out in bars over here that much. I've always felt that "us and them" division between us, they're a nationality I see from afar but never get a chance to mingle with although I had a female Chinese housemate in London for abut 6 months who dispelled a lot of the mystery surrounding this nationality for me. I suppose this division has lead to me not knowing much about the Chinese and in turn, not really giving them any consideration. Tbh of the fellas I've come across, height and build would have been an issue for me (like another poster mentioned)..I'd be a good bit bigger than many Asian women (5 foot 5 and 9 and half stone). I just don't like to feel I'm some sort of Shrek-like monster in comparison to any man I'm with but who knows...I could easily be persuaded if I was ever with a sexy Chinese guy. It's happened many times to me before...

Sorry, just to add...I'm only talking about the physical side of attraction and not cultural differences.

idontknowmyname

As previous posters have said, it may be just you haven't found the right person and that different people are attracted to different things in a person's looks. I'm certainly not racist but I just don't find black men/asian men attractive, but that's my own personal taste. Each one to their own.