Mothers Death

janullrich

I am basically at my mothers deathbed. It is a very strange experience showing compassion for a woman who used to beat me around the place when I was young and has always being difficult in relationships. Now I feel sorry that I did not patch things up while she could still talk/open her eyes. I am trying to keep up with relations from home and abroad but it is tough. I wish I had a girlfriend/wife beside me but I don't. I am staying at my parents as I am a only child and helping my dad who I have always had a good relationship with. Has anybody experienced this type of situation and how did they cope. Sorry but it feels wierd writing this.

Splendour

Hi janullrich, this is a very difficult situation for you-my sympathies to you. I can't imagine the feelings you must be going through at the moment. You're obviously a very loving person if it is your wish to patch things up with an abusive parent.

I agree with Cormb with regards to talking to your mother even at this late stage. They say the hearing is the last thing to go so it may be beneficial to you and your mother.

Take care & God bless,

Splendour

Micilin Muc

I've experienced this but I was much younger when she died and I have siblings. I'm just grateful that she brought me into the world and introduced me to my various interests in life, despite the fact we had our differences. Maybe time has healed the sores but I definitely have no ill feelings now.

I would try put ill feelings aside, be there for your parents now, and deal with the feelings later.

Dizzyblonde

janullrich, it wasn't up to you to patch things up - it was your mother's responsibility. I believe that if you talk to your mother she will hear you, so if it helps then talk to her and tell her you forgive her.
There's no point in feeling guilty because you haven't done anything wrong, and letting go of the past will help you move on into the future.