Beaten Up

Doodle53

Hi,
Last Halloween my and my friend were beaten up for no reason whatsoever.We were standing at a shop waiting on our other friends when these young lads beat us up out of nowhere.Luckily neither of us were seriously injured however its really affected me mentally.

I used to be really outgoing!Id go out everyday,wouldnt mind walkin on my own,get the bus but now.....im scared to do all of that!
The thing is I see these lads around my area as they live near me and even go to my school!I dont mind school as its safe but outside school is a different story...even walking home from school im scared that its going to happen again!
As I said theyre younger than I am but none the less its had an affect on me.

I feel like im drifting away from my friends and missing out on things purely because of this expeirence and I hate it!I dont know what to do.I say 'oh whatever' but when I go out its different.I make excuses that ive to go in.
Please any advice on this matter?
Its nearly a year now and im still scared to go out.I just want things to go back to the way they were.
Thanks.

Gman1

First of all, its perfectly normal to feel like that after such an experience.

Get yourself into a self defence course. Krav Maga which is an Israeli self defense is very good. It will not matter your weight, height or fitness level. Its very easy, and it will give you confidence. All you lack is confidence.

I have been in a similar situation, but I ended up in hospital. I couldnt go outside anymore. It destroyed me for months, until I got my confidence back up with this course. Fight fire with fire, they hit you you stand strong and hit back. Thugs only understand one thing and thats violence.

Micky Dolenz

Gman1 wrote: »

First of all, its perfectly normal to feel like that after such an experience.

Get yourself into a self defence course. Krav Maga which is an Israeli self defense is very good. It will not matter your weight, height or fitness level. Its very easy, and it will give you confidence. All you lack is confidence.

I have been in a similar situation, but I ended up in hospital. I couldnt go outside anymore. It destroyed me for months, until I got my confidence back up with this course. Fight fire with fire, they hit you you stand strong and hit back. Thugs only understand one thing and thats violence.

While most of your advice is sound, I disagree with the last part.

OP, you need to empower yourself, this can be done by many means, it is all about getting confindence in yourself. Confindence shows in the most subtle ways. Bullies pick their victims,Confindent people are not targets normally.

Self denfense classes are good, they build your confindence, knowing you can defend yourself reflects in most of your actions and movements, most bullies will see this too, you will cease to be a target. The odd thing is, when you know you can kick someone's ass, it is the time it is most unlikely to happen.

for now, talk to someone, a problem shared is a weight off your mind. You'll find that nearly everyone has been put in situations we'd rather not be,at some point or other it's how you deal with it now is key.

LegacyUser

its completely natural! life will get back to normal soon and you'll gain your confidence back bit by bit! you just need to remember that you're better than these people- simple as. no matter how much they hit you or try to intimidate you.
a similar thing happened me a while back and one of the girls actually apologised to me a few years later and we chat sometimes and all! guilt will hit them when they see you dont rise to it and if it doesnt then they're true scum and not worth your worry cause they dont even remember you or your friend, they do it to so many people and have no consideration for any human beings.
chin up- you'll come out better than the lot of them.

piby

When I hear stories like this it really bothers me to think that some people are that pathetic! I'm pretty big so luckily I've never had something like that happen to me but some of my friends have and aside from the physical damage, as you said, the mental stress can be a lot to deal with.

It might take time but eventually you'll be alright again when you realise that it was most likely a horrible once off experience and that 99% of the population don't do stuff like that. Easier said than done I know but take my word for it.

It may not be much of a consolation OP, but guys who go around picking fights like that end up picking the wrong person sooner or later, and then they get what's coming to them!

Fiend-Foe

The same thing happened to a myself and a friend a few years ago, we took a whopper hiding from a gang of about 10 or 12 while waiting at a bus stop. The scumbags danced on our faces, I don't know what kind of person can do that to someone. Very lucky they didn't kill one of us.

These people are weak and would never do anything on their own, always have to have their mates to back them up.

Unfortunately there's nothing to do about it but to get on with things. Go out, live your life and have fun, in time it will pass. Eventually you'll see that its unlikely to happen again.

Its a sad fact of life, but remember that everybody takes a beating once in a while. If you let it effect you and change your life it means that they've won.

LegacyUser

This happened me too. Couple of guys off their head.For a while it made very nervou about passing people who were drunk


The worse thing you can do is to stay indoors. This leads to depression and you become fearful and timid. You need to start heading out a bit more(but dont go the other extreme) maybe getting taxis home at the start

LegacyUser

Hit the weights, get big and they won't go near you. Don't bother taking up Self Defence classes this isn't the karate kid it's real life and in real life it takes years of training until you would be effective in combat. Hit the weights and you won't even have to fight because they won't approach you.

Slumlion

Unreg22 wrote: »

Hit the weights, get big and they won't go near you. Don't bother taking up Self Defence classes this isn't the karate kid it's real life and in real life it takes years of training until you would be effective in combat. Hit the weights and you won't even have to fight because they won't approach you.

Thats complete rubbish theres a lot of lunatics out there that dont care what size you are!

LegacyUser

I used to get trouble all the time but since I've gotten big I haven't even been looked at funny.

legend365

You can be as big as a house and still get your a$$ kicked around. Join up a boxing or muay thai gym. Learn to protect yourself and you'll hold your head high. These are more hands on then self defence classes and 'what if someone comes at you wlike this' stuff.

Also time will heal your mental state too. Same thing half happened to me, bunch of lads out to make a name for themselves, attackin or intimidatin people. Got more than they bargin for with me haha

P.S. DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL. As you said it was a random attack.

Doodle53

Hey guys!
Thanks a mill for all the advice.It really helps also when you hear other stories and realise that its not just you!
Once again thanks!!

Lone Stone

Doodle53 wrote: »

Hi,
Last Halloween my and my friend were beaten up for no reason whatsoever.We were standing at a shop waiting on our other friends when these young lads beat us up out of nowhere.Luckily neither of us were seriously injured however its really affected me mentally.

I used to be really outgoing!Id go out everyday,wouldnt mind walkin on my own,get the bus but now.....im scared to do all of that!
The thing is I see these lads around my area as they live near me and even go to my school!I dont mind school as its safe but outside school is a different story...even walking home from school im scared that its going to happen again!
As I said theyre younger than I am but none the less its had an affect on me.

I feel like im drifting away from my friends and missing out on things purely because of this expeirence and I hate it!I dont know what to do.I say 'oh whatever' but when I go out its different.I make excuses that ive to go in.
Please any advice on this matter?
Its nearly a year now and im still scared to go out.I just want things to go back to the way they were.
Thanks.

god simaler things use to happen to me when i was in my teen's almost everyday some gang would mug everyone walking down the bloody street !
Use to tuck money down my socks if i was at the dart station going into town.

Anyway think of it this way,It happend to you once ? at halloween, When frankly anyone who is hanging out on the streets should be extra carefull.
so put it down to experiance learn from it and be more aware next time your out on a holiday like halloween. Drunk teens usually = violent teens.

Fiend-Foe

Doodle53 wrote: »

Hey guys!
Thanks a mill for all the advice.It really helps also when you hear other stories and realise that its not just you!
Once again thanks!!

Yeah, its sad but I reckon it happens to nearly every guy at some point or another. Your not alone, just part of growing up.

It happens more so in your teens, once you get that little bit older you'll get far less hassle from the scum.

Keep your chin up and don't let anybody see that it got to you.

Sounds really stupid but think of it as a rite of passage or something, everybody experiences it at some point. You took your beating and your ok, now put it behind you and get on with your life.

But god wouldn't ya just love a few minutes alone with them one at a time?

It takes a really big man to outnumber someone and jump them with a gang of your mates :rolleyes:

Spastafarian

I got mugged about 5 or 6 years ago for a crappy mobile phone (wasn't even mine ). Was left with two black eyes and two fat lips but it didn't really leave me with any mental issues (mainly because I was plastered, it was Paddys Day). I'd have to agree with the size thing though, I also haven't been looked at funny since I got bigger... I think it's mostly fat but it does the job.

LegacyUser

I got beaten up also. I'm 6'5 and built like a tank. I'm also 27.

I was born and raised in the Bronx NY, I'm pretty streetwise as a result of my upbringing.

One night going home from the nightclub I went past the Chinese and there was a group youths instead of going through them I crossed the road. Bad mistake and I never do that usually.

I was pretty legless anyhow they followed me hit me with a brick in the back of the head and when I was down stood all over my body legs groin etc. I also noticed there were 2 girls with them. A taxi driver came to my rescue and left me to the hospital.

The hospital sent me home and told me I had sprained my ankle anyhow to make a long story short I still couldn't walk 4 weeks later so I went and got a 4th opinion the doctor said it could be a DVT (blood clot) in my leg and that’s what it turned it out to be. I had a reoccurrence and I had to be treated if it a happens again I will be on Warfarin for life, as a result of all of the above the valves in my veins in my right leg are all broken so I have to wear a support stocking . Its affected the quality of my life a little in that I cannot play soccer anymore and contact sports.

This isn't about me wanting sympathy, just to let everyone know so you all look after yourself when you’re out. Peace.

P.S It didn't happen in Dublin

RHunce

dude dont worry about it one bit this happened me before but i got the better of the guy in the fight, so the next day he came back with a friend and gave me a hiding (what a coward)

ive been at the gym for the last few months, and not only had it given me confidence, its given my confidence that i know i can trust, i saw him today, must be a year and a half later,i wanted to kill him, but that would be sinking to his level so i didnt, but who knows well now not to come near me

take up an activity that will build your confidence and strenght