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The usual, trying to get over ex

  • 04-08-2009 3:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    first time poster......this issue comes up a million times in here im sure but as its still effecting me i need to get in down on screen and see can people give me some much needed advice. usual story, trying to get over an ex but just cant seem to. im 27 and broke up with her nearly a year ago yet i still think about her alot. went out for 5 years, she meant alot to me, i really cared for her. the way we ended, left me with a lot of "what if's" which i suppose makes me think about her a fair bit. i know she has moved on since we broke up, she wanted to remain friends but i told her it would be too hard for me cause i cared too much for her. she understood but said it was sad it had to be that way. it was very hard to do but i was just doing what i think is the right thing.

    thing is, she actually was everything i wanted from a gf, similar sense of humour, my best friend, hot, great sex etc.....and in the last year since we broke up, i compare other girls i meet against her, which i know is wrong but i cant help it....and no-one seems to come close. without even wanting it to be the case, im looking for another girl who is the same, i hate it, but i cant help it.

    i think the only way i can ever move on properly is if i meet someone new, but because i loved her so much and she really did make me very happy, most people i meet i find a reason why i dont think it would be as good with them as i had it before.

    i know i sound stupid but this constantly gets me down, i hate being sad, i just want to be happy like i was at one with stage with the ex. id like to hear others advice, good and bad.....i just really wanna get over her and be happy again.......why cant i just get over her???


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP,

    I feel for you. I am in the same situation. Although I have only recently cut contact so I am hoping that is why I still feel so bad and that in time I will improve. Its so hard. Ive heard some people say it took them a few years. You have only been apart a year? My mate broke up with a long term boyfriend four years ago and said it took her about three years to feel fully over it. Then she met someone new and is in love now again. Thats not to say you might be miserable for three years but I think you may always have feelings for your ex until you move on and meet someone else.

    Try and think back fondly of the times you had together but know it didnt work for a reason. Your only 27 and life is out there for the taking and whats to stop you having a few more relationships.

    If it is meant to be you might meet up in a few years and give it another go, and have a bundle of life experience between you.

    Try to concentrate on yourself and your mates and be positive. Easier said than done and I will be trying to take my own advice!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey, sorry to hear you are feeling so blue.

    Trying to get over someone myself at the moment and i find it helps if I look at it very realistically and without the rose tinted glasses.

    I loved a guy who at the end of the day, didn't want to be with me....so why should i waste my time pining for lost love?? or worse start comparing every other guy to him.

    My advice...get out there and start having fun. Sounds like you are not in a position to start up something new with anyone. I reckon if you just go with the flow, enjoy nights out with your mates, you will gradually feel better and the right girl will come along and you'll be thinking EX??? What EX?? Remember everyone is unique and has something different to offer. Don't write off every poor girl you come across.


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