Punching above my weight? - What was she at?

LegacyUser

Ok going unreg. First time I've ever posted here. This is more of a wtf query/rant rather than a relationship one...

I'm in my early/mid twenties and single. Recently went up the country to have a bit of a re-union with friends from school who I've stayed in regular contact with. We all had a great night and the usual lots of drinks and telling old stories. One of the girls, who I'd be particularly close to as a friend was there and we had our usual good banter.

She suggested we keep drinking in the gaff they were renting. Once I got there straight away she was very friendly and we sat on the beanbag and chatted more and she (for the want of a better word) snuggled into me, and hugged me a bit. After a while we went to bed and 'snuggled' a bit more. We kept chatting but I couldn’t really believe what was after happening to this point. She was really hugging and even running her hands through my hair. She knows I've always liked her (although I never actually told her) yet she was doing all this, I tried to keep talking and almost ignore it but I was lying there with the girl of my dreams and when she asked what was 'wrong' with me I told her that I didn’t understand what she was playing at. My heart was beating like mad, I was so nervous. Now this girl is smoking hot, clever and lovely. She has a lovely boyfriend, she has a great job, great friends, everything going for her where as me, bless me, I'm a significantly overweight geeky type who thinks that life should revolve around vintage cars and the local GAA club football matches. I came right out and told her that I'm totally mad about her but that girls like her just don’t 'go' for guys like me. She dismissed that. I stupidly kissed her on the cheek and then we both just feel asleep.

Next morning we woke up and everything was normal and we chatted away, had breakfast and some of the other lads and girls were there too just talking about the night before and all. No mention of the night before to anyone else. The only reference since was a fleeting one in a text to make sure that we were cool and I've even been out with her and her boyfriend for drinks since carrying on pretending nothing happened. He's a lovely fella and I feel so guilty around him, I see quite often and would even regard him as a friend. .

I suppose my main question arising out of this rant is what was she playing at? Is she just bored of her boyfriend and using me as some sort of ego boost although they seem perfectly happy? Its not even like my feelings for her bother me from one day to the next, the thought of me and her in that way never would enter my head but being back at home (small country town) that weekend has to be honest got me a bit confused/angry

wasper

longford4sam wrote: »

Ok going unreg. First time I've ever posted here. This is more of a wtf query/rant rather than a relationship one...

I'm in my early/mid twenties and single. Recently went up the country to have a bit of a re-union with friends from school who I've stayed in regular contact with. We all had a great night and the usual lots of drinks and telling old stories. One of the girls, who I'd be particularly close to as a friend was there and we had our usual good banter.

She suggested we keep drinking in the gaff they were renting. Once I got there straight away she was very friendly and we sat on the beanbag and chatted more and she (for the want of a better word) snuggled into me, and hugged me a bit. After a while we went to bed and 'snuggled' a bit more. We kept chatting but I couldn’t really believe what was after happening to this point. She was really hugging and even running her hands through my hair. She knows I've always liked her (although I never actually told her) yet she was doing all this, I tried to keep talking and almost ignore it but I was lying there with the girl of my dreams and when she asked what was 'wrong' with me I told her that I didn’t understand what she was playing at. My heart was beating like mad, I was so nervous. Now this girl is smoking hot, clever and lovely. She has a lovely boyfriend, she has a great job, great friends, everything going for her where as me, bless me, I'm a significantly overweight geeky type who thinks that life should revolve around vintage cars and the local GAA club football matches. I came right out and told her that I'm totally mad about her but that girls like her just don’t 'go' for guys like me. She dismissed that. I stupidly kissed her on the cheek and then we both just feel asleep.

Next morning we woke up and everything was normal and we chatted away, had breakfast and some of the other lads and girls were there too just talking about the night before and all. No mention of the night before to anyone else. The only reference since was a fleeting one in a text to make sure that we were cool and I've even been out with her and her boyfriend for drinks since carrying on pretending nothing happened. He's a lovely fella and I feel so guilty around him, I see quite often and would even regard him as a friend. .

I suppose my main question arising out of this rant is what was she playing at? Is she just bored of her boyfriend and using me as some sort of ego boost although they seem perfectly happy? Its not even like my feelings for her bother me from one day to the next, the thought of me and her in that way never would enter my head but being back at home (small country town) that weekend has to be honest got me a bit confused/angry

You should be honest with yourself & admit that you too wanted it as much as she. She didn't put a gun against your head & lead you to bed.

Nick_oliveri

wasper wrote: »

You should be honest with yourself & admit that you too wanted it as much as she. She didn't put a gun against your head & lead you to bed.

Lead him to beanbag? They didn't go to bed.

OP, whatever it was, it wouldn't have been right.
Put it behind you and get on with it. A little self confidence wouldn't go astray either. You played it well.

Sir Humphrey

Nick_oliveri wrote: »

Lead him to beanbag? They didn't go to bed.

OP, whatever it was, it wouldn't have been right.
Put it behind you and get on with it. A little self confidence wouldn't go astray either. You played it well.

"Lead him to beanbag? They didn't go to bed." - This line from the original post suggests otherwise - "After a while we went to bed and 'snuggled' a bit more."

I wouldn't disagree with the rest of what you wrote though.

Nick_oliveri

Sir Humphrey wrote: »

"Lead him to beanbag? They didn't go to bed." - This line from the original post suggests otherwise - "After a while we went to bed and 'snuggled' a bit more."

Well it seems I had selective reading last night/this morning. I apologise.

dblennon

I might have a more constructive answer for you but there will be generalisations.

1. You are good friends, so in general women do not engage in anything that would be regarded as projections of attraction unless they really wanted too.
Your lack of self confidence may have blinded you to signals she may have been throwing out for years?
I think a frank discussion with her might be just what she is looking for if she is as you describe you will have to step up to the plate if you want it to go anywhere.

2. She's not the nicest person in the world and she feels safe with you and wants a scapegoat to get out of her current relationship. (I personally doubt this is the case)

Finally, you have her on a pedestal at the moment so be carefull, if you want to see where the other night might lead build up that self confidence because any relationship where one party feels TOO lucky to have the other half is doomed to failure.