Drink and other problems

LegacyUser

For the past few years iv been pretty much a heavy drinker, drinking on my own 98% of the times. I drink maybe 5 times a week, around 8 cans of beer or so, i dont really get hammered drunk, little tipsy maybe

I have no contact with anyone outside of my house and sit at home all day staring at my pc or the television, a while back i had a job and drank heavily every night alone, i suffer from terrible aniexty and depression too , i hide my cans now from my family, i even did the same thing from flat mates, so pathetic....

Another problem is my mother has gone totally insane the past few years and i literally cant move a muscle without her jumping to see what im doing, for example the minute she comes home she`ll insult me no end and force me to go to bed running up and down every 5 minutes and keeping everyone else in the house awake

I got bullied pretty badly when i was younger and it really affected me, i lost contact with everyone of my friends, the only positive thing i have at the moment is my final year in college coming up in 6 weeks

my mental state has been gettin progressively worse and my physical health is getting worse, i get panic attacks alot and have chest pain etc, been to the hospital with them but was told theres absolutely nothing wrong. Its like if i walk down a street and see someone i know or anyone infact i want to turn around and hide away from them

I did drugs a few years ago, some pretty heavy ones at that but thankfully quit them now and havent even touched a joint in about 3 years

Iv tryed quittin the drink but after 2 or 3 days the aniexty just shoots up to like 500% and i can barely think at all

Theres a few things that happened a few years ago that im pretty sure have me this fcuked up at the moment but i wud prefer not to get into them, i think the bullying is the major one, resulting in a fear to leave my own home

I have never had suicidal thoughts just to clarify

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

For the past few years iv been pretty much a heavy drinker, drinking on my own 98% of the times. I drink maybe 5 times a week, around 8 cans of beer or so, i dont really get hammered drunk, little tipsy maybe

I have no contact with anyone outside of my house and sit at home all day staring at my pc or the television, a while back i had a job and drank heavily every night alone, i suffer from terrible aniexty and depression too , i hide my cans now from my family, i even did the same thing from flat mates, so pathetic....

Another problem is my mother has gone totally insane the past few years and i literally cant move a muscle without her jumping to see what im doing, for example the minute she comes home she`ll insult me no end and force me to go to bed running up and down every 5 minutes and keeping everyone else in the house awake

I got bullied pretty badly when i was younger and it really affected me, i lost contact with everyone of my friends, the only positive thing i have at the moment is my final year in college coming up in 6 weeks

my mental state has been gettin progressively worse and my physical health is getting worse, i get panic attacks alot and have chest pain etc, been to the hospital with them but was told theres absolutely nothing wrong. Its like if i walk down a street and see someone i know or anyone infact i want to turn around and hide away from them

I did drugs a few years ago, some pretty heavy ones at that but thankfully quit them now and havent even touched a joint in about 3 years

Iv tryed quittin the drink but after 2 or 3 days the aniexty just shoots up to like 500% and i can barely think at all

Theres a few things that happened a few years ago that im pretty sure have me this fcuked up at the moment but i wud prefer not to get into them, i think the bullying is the major one, resulting in a fear to leave my own home

I have never had suicidal thoughts just to clarify

Fair play to you for being able to see and acknowledge it's a problem - I didn't do a great job of that myself and it was hard. I've posted on a similar thread here a few days ago and I'd pretty much offer the same advice to you. I completely understand the bullying and the impact, I was bullied constantly through different schools (I sometimes wonder why I consistently attracted the attention of bullies) and know how hard it is even now dealing with people. I've been in A&E a few times with panic attacks and at one point was suggested anti-psychotics for some of the episodes.

It is up to you now though what you want to do next. It is terrifying and with the best will in the world thinking you can find a way through on your own is naively optimistic On the bright side it's not an arduous task to get some assistance. Being referred (via A&E) to an alcohol counsellor was where I started (a year ago) and that led to finally going along to an AA meeting. Are you at a point where you're willing to go to a meeting?

LegacyUser

nah sorry. i dont think AA is for me, im quiet young and believe i would feel quiet out of place there.

just after another night of booze and its 5.30 am totally sober as usual but the beer helps me think straight, good nite

petes

Unregistered wrote: »

nah sorry. i dont think AA is for me, im quiet young and believe i would feel quiet out of place there.

just after another night of booze and its 5.30 am totally sober as usual but the beer helps me think straight, good nite

You are just using your age as an excuse not to go to AA. You get all different types and age groups that are alcoholics not just your stereotypical one.

You mentioned going to A & E. Did they suggest going to your GP. They should have done. You are using the beer as a crutch so you don't feel the anxiety. Basically you do it today then start to feel like crap tommorow so do it again. Talk to you GP, he may recommend counselling or give you something for the anxiety.

cafecolour

Sounds like you have high anxiety and are self-medicating with alcohol. Go to a GP, get on proper anxiety meds and get referred to someone to talk through your issues resulting from bullying, etc.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

nah sorry. i dont think AA is for me, im quiet young and believe i would feel quiet out of place there.

just after another night of booze and its 5.30 am totally sober as usual but the beer helps me think straight, good nite

I expected AA to be a bunch of miserable old men - it isn't, there's a wide, wide variety of people of very differing ages. It's an option that's there for you and can't recommend it strongly enough. Others have suggested going to see a GP which is also a really good idea. Thing is, it's up to you now. Doing one or the other (or preferably both!) of the suggestions you've been given has a good chance of some benefit for you. Good luck with things going forward. Whether you look at changing now or it takes some more time always remember that there are people who've experienced it and will help without judging.

Sinall

A good friend of mine went to AA went he was 23 and he is now 38. He hasn't looked back since, but I know it's been hard. There are all types of people in AA, people you would never expect to meet. I believe you can go along to meetings to observe and don't have to participate if you don't want to. This might be a good way to see first hand what they are all about.

thebiggestjim

Unregistered wrote: »

nah sorry. i dont think AA is for me, im quiet young and believe i would feel quiet out of place there.

just after another night of booze and its 5.30 am totally sober as usual but the beer helps me think straight, good nite

A buddy of mine was in AA at 19, he is off the booze 9 years now.