Sad and alone

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have come to spend a year in Australia.

Its great.

However, having very recently lost my mam I cant seem to enjoy it. I know this is normal probably, but I feel very sad all the time, I cry myself to sleep sometimes.

I have only been here 10 days and I dont know anyone here apart from my girlfriend.

I miss my dad, my friends and I feel so sad and alone.

Please help. I know time is a healer but I cant go on for too much longer feeling like this and need something to feel better now..

IvyTheTerrible

Don't feel like you "have" to enjoy things, let yourself grieve.

Have you spoken to a bereavement councillor? There are some links in the charter that I found really helpful when I lost my brother.

It's normal that you would still feel very sad. While it is true that time is a healer, everybody grieves differently and some people need a bit of extra help. It sounds like you are depressed and it would probably be good to talk to a counsellor.

I hope this helps a little bit.

LegacyUser

Maybe you should come home. Travel insurance could cover the flight home and back over. Fly home, take a month or two with your family and friends and then, when you thin you're ready, go back to Australia.

katiemaloe

Hi, I know how you feel pet, My Mam died 10 years ago and I'll never forget how difficult it was, especially at first. It's consuming and I can only imagine how hard it is to be away from family at this time. Don't be hard on yourself though. When you're feeling sad, call or email home. Even just talking about it to your family will help cos they knew and loved your Mam the same way you did. They are having tough days too and I'm sure they are missing you. It really helps to talk even about little things that your Mam used to do or things that remind you of her. Imagine how proud she would be of you travelling It's a great achievement in itself and she would have be thrilled you are such an adventurer and having fun and exploring new things.

It's ok to be sad too. Some days are more difficult than others, as I'm sure you know. Just accept that some days you will feel sad and other days can be easier. The grief doesn't go away, it just becomes less intense and you learn to cope with it more and more as time goes by. I still miss my Mam and often think of her when I see something she would like. I wish I could tell her all the things that have happened in the last decade and how me and my sister have grown up. Even still, I get the odd day where i really miss her and I'd get upset but I view this as ok and accept that sometimes you just have a sad day.

Keep in touch with your family, even if you end up spending a fortune on call cards! Talk about your Mam and all the little things flying about in your mind when you miss her. Or even write these feelings down if that helps. You could keep a travel journal of all the things you'd love to be telling your Mam about your trip, good and bad bits. One little thing that I think is nice is if you plant something, like a tree or rosebush (something your Mam would have liked) I think its nice to have something living and beautiful to remember your Mam by... you could do this when you get home and put a letter to your Mam in the soil, about all the things you would like to say to her.

It does get easier with time. I know everyone says this and its hard to believe but its true. And its perfectly ok to be feeling this. Just keep busy and have fun. When you're settled in Oz and meet some new people, you'll have fun and your mind will be distracted. Just remember that there will be good days and bad days. On the tougher days, just talk lots and if you're upset, then thats ok too. Your Mam would want you to have fun so keep yourself busy and do lots of fun and new things. Take care Hon, sending you a cyber hug.