Help Girl at work

Anty1

Ok this is the situation.Im a male,20 years of age,never had a relationship,not even a kiss.Im a shy kinda guy,genuine and kind.It takes a while for me to open up since my confidence level isnt too high.Im not bad looking,a bit overweight but you wouldnt see it as much on me as im quite tall at 6.2-3 and a bit muscley.
Im shy around most people when i first meet them,however when it comes to women i have no clue on what to do.You see i grew up in an all boys school in primary and secondary,there was no women in my park either so as a result,i didnt interact with the opposite sex too often.
Even though i love dance music and stuff with big base,im not much of a partier and dont go out clubbing too often.I am making a bit more of an effort at the moment as i need some experience in the field;).One of my problems is that i dont know how to read women,for example i might be dancing with someone in a club and i can see their making eye contact with me and enjoying themselves,i dont know how to make a move.My friends just say "go for it" but you see i wouldnt have the confidence level or charisma to charm them the way they do.

Anyway sorry for the long story but my situation is that theres a girl in work that i like.Shes the same age as me and gos to college as well.Like always at the beginning i was kinda shy but now im opening up to her.I think shes interested in me as well but i cant really tell.She has implied a few times that we should see each other in the club sometime but that hasnt happened yet.Tonight now,there was a small festival on and a friend called into work to offer us a few tickets.I declined them since we were gonna be working early again tomorrow.She however accepted a few.Later that day close to closing time ,i think she said something like this..

her: "are you going down to the festival"
me: "na i have to get up in the early in the morning and id be wrecked if i went"
her: "ok i wouldnt mind going but i cant exactly go down on my own."

I dunno if this means anything, just now,im thinking that im an idiot,and should have said "yes,why dont we go down".Im a bit hesitant about it because shes a lot more confident than i am.Id say she has a lot experience with men and is a party girl at heart.She gos out clubing at least once or twice every week.

I guess im venting at the moment but im just completely confused as to where to go from here.I see her most days of the week,and i know if i ask her out and she say no,things will be very awkward between us.

Sorry for the very long post just any opinions would be much appreciated.

sarahlulu

She was completely asking you to ask her out. Do you have her number? It's not too late to call her and suggest you go to the festival together.

RandomIrl

text her and say if your still up for going ill go with you....taake the risk

myusernameis

id say that was a big hint. I think though you know at the beginning of your post you were saying all this about your not shy and experienced, well she wouldnt know this, so dont let this stop you. Now you just have to stop with your excuses and ask her out! Is the festival still on..you could ask her if she wants to go after work. Best of luck!

Anty1

I have her no,just i cant find my phone..

im gonna be going out for a bit later tonight anyway.just not drinking in the club because i need to drive to work tomorrow..plus the boss would kill me if he smelt drink off me.

The festival was a weekend event and if i went, it would either mean camp down there or do another 1 hour drive back home later on tonight.Whatever would have happened it would mean either me or her could not drink because someone would need to drive us back home so we could go to work again at 8 tomorrow.Without this the boos flowing id never have been able to make a move.

She would know im inexperienced because in theory lets say we kissed etc,she would see my reluctance to make a move and also my kiss would be fairly poor to say the least.

I know im just making excuses,but sure even the best of us do it sometimes

myusernameis

ah no i wasn't giving out to you, i was just trying to motivate you!

i dunno, i would way rather a guy that doesn't know everything than one that has been with everyone. I think you just have to try and have more confidence in yourself.

She obviously thinks alot of you if you are chatting at work and talking about your plans so its not that she doesnt like you. I think though sometimes you just have to take the plunge! Try and not think of it as a big deal like asking her for a drink after cause you'll just build it up in your head and it will make you more nervous.

Anty1

i never thought you were giving out to me,lol

LegacyUser

I was in your stiuation for *years* OP: Shy and awkward from having acne and buck teeth in my teens. And the awkwardness prevailed into adulthood despite the fact that I knew I was actually not a bad lookin lad. I got sorted though, thanks to a bit of mentoring from a buddy who was a bit of a genius in the lady department, and am only regretting not getting my head together sooner. And you can too!

Getting the 'feel' for interaction with the ladies, how they are reacting to you, whether they like you as a friend or even if they fancy you, (especially when you've just met them in a bar or though a friend or whatever) is something you only develop with lots of practice. But remember they don't bite! Be cool, and confident. Ask them out if you think you feel the connection. If it doesn't work out, you'll still feel great, and you learn a lesson every time.

It doesn't take long to get good at.

Anty1

ok just got back from the club,the one thing i hate about clubs is the ringing noise i get after i leave it...i left 20mins early to miss the ques and boy are my ears ringing..i cant hear a thing and even though i never had a drink tonight,my voice sounds drunk from shouting so much:o

I was wondering do any of ye know any self boosting confidence classes in the cork area...they might do me a bit of good

Timistry

Anty1 wrote: »

ok just got back from the club,the one thing i hate about clubs is the ringing noise i get after i leave it...i left 20mins early to miss the ques and boy are my ears ringing..i cant hear a thing and even though i never had a drink tonight,my voice sounds drunk from shouting so much:o

I was wondering do any of ye know any self boosting confidence classes in the cork area...they might do me a bit of good

really? where were you? The wholw buzzing sound used to happen me when I was like 16. never happens anymore tho! Man i reckon those classes would be a waste of money. get a book or something. read it and go out and practice on the young wans!

discobeaker

Anty1 wrote: »

ok just got back from the club,the one thing i hate about clubs is the ringing noise i get after i leave it...i left 20mins early to miss the ques and boy are my ears ringing..i cant hear a thing and even though i never had a drink tonight,my voice sounds drunk from shouting so much

Get some ear plugs. You can usually get them in music shops. I get these one http://store.daddario.com/category/152454/Earplugs

they are flesh coloured so you dont notice them,i wear them in clubs and it makes such a big difference.

Good luck on your quest dude. Stay strong and let us know how you get on

Anty1

Timistry wrote: »

really? where were you? The wholw buzzing sound used to happen me when I was like 16. never happens anymore tho! Man i reckon those classes would be a waste of money. get a book or something. read it and go out and practice on the young wans!

Id tell you,just i know a few people on boards and they could find out if i say it..
This is my spoof account btw.
I think reading it is a waste of time.Its all well and good in theory but when it comes to the practical,well you know how it goes..thats why im asking about it

Anty1

discobeaker wrote: »

Get some ear plugs. You can usually get them in music shops. I get these one http://store.daddario.com/category/152454/Earplugs

they are flesh coloured so you dont notice them,i wear them in clubs and it makes such a big difference.

Good luck on your quest dude. Stay strong and let us know how you get on

I think the main reason my ears are ringing and hurting is because of one of my friends...he just kept pretending to not speak loud enough until you put your ear next to him,and then shouted :mad:

John5

She's definitely into you mate, that's for sure.

This reminds me of something that happened to me with a girl i like in work a while ago. She sometimes offers me a lift home with her from work, and she was going to see Aslan in Vicar Street on a Friday night..

...she told me she was going with a friend of hers but wouldn't mind me 'tagging' along as there was tickets available on the door.

Of course, i was a total idiot and i decided to decline...i'm on holiday from work now and i'm still regretting it.:o

Anty1

My inexperience is the main reason why im hesitant id say

John5

Anty1 wrote: »

My inexperience is the main reason why im hesitant id say

Well, the only way you'll get experience is by accepting an obvious offer from a girl you like!...

...even if you made a fool of yourself going out with her, at least you tried.

entropi

OP, as many others have said it yeah she totally wanted to at least try out a date and get a feel of things, probably still wants you too so go for it;) I used to be just like that myself...total idiot for so many years of ignorance but these days i have had to change my ways:)