Heartbroken & confused - what should I do?

Coffee Addict

What should I do.........My boyfriend & I planned on moving in together on a few occasions but every time he changed his mind at the last second.
He said he loves me & wants a future with me but he is not ready to take that step.
I can't understand why he would go to the effort of booking viewings, piking a place we want & agreeing to move in only to say no at the last second.
Now he says he wants time out to sort things out, I said no taking a break & we were supposed to meet up, but he txt to say he needs time & now he won't talk, txt, email me etc.

The stupid thing is, & I give out about people who do this & if I was one of my friends I would be telling her to dump him, but.......... I love him more than he probably knows, even after what he has done. We are good together, we make each other laugh & we are there to support each other.

I am so upset & heartbroken & I just wish he would pick up his phone or laptop or get in his car & drive to me & tell me he still feels the same & we can get through this.
Surely if I am willing to get over this, he can.


So my question is really.......should I just forget him (no matter how much it hurts) or live in the hope that he will eventually come good on his words/actions?..........:(:confused::(:confused::(:confused::(

tannytantans

Definitely think you need to sit him down and have a good chat. He shouldn't be leading you on like this if he has no intention to actually move in with you?

How long have ye been going out?Does he still live at home?

Basically I'd have it out with him and if he doesn't come up with any satisfactory answers I'd bve thinking about giving him an ultimatum.

Coffee Addict

Thanks, we have been together 2 years, but it feels longer, we just click.

I have tried that & I have even said we are over & I have walked away but he ran after me & I txt him, it was like neither of us wanted it to be over & I certainly do not want us to be.....I know he is treating me like a fool & I'm being a fool but its so hard to just walk away.
My hearts not in walking away I want to fight & save us, stupidly my hearts still with him.

tannytantans

Well have you considered giving him the space he's been asking for? Maybe a week without contact so the two of ye can get your heads together and think about things and then agree to meet up for a proper chat afterwards. Hopefully he'll have sorted things out then and you can have a proper discussion about it.

Coffee Addict

I did something stupid & called down to him.......he would to come out to me so I left a message that I wanted my stuff back.
I txt him when I came back to say sorry & he can have his space & I gave him a time & a place to meet me.

I think I may have blown it altogether & its killing me, I am terrified that he will not turn up.

I need to hear it from him if he no longer loves me or wants me then just say it, but no more excuses.
I hate this no contact thing

Cali Gal

I am a long time reader of boards and had to register after seeing your post.

I was in a similar situation to you (it was not about moving in together) some time ago. We got past it and are v happy today.

I think its a good sign that he is taking the time to reflect on the situation. I know you want contact (so would i) but everyone deals with emotional stress differentially, don't see the silence as him not caring.

Why did he say he wanted the time? Is it to think about where you guys are or about the moving out. I think this is vital.

I hope things work out for you guys.

Coffee Addict

Thanks & I am delighted to see you made it through & you are both happy! He wants the time to figure out what happened & why & told me that he was not being fair to me or himself doing etc.
I should not have called down to him, I know that but I am a very impulsive person.......I just want us to be right
I am also very impatient so the wait is killing me!!
I keep looking at my home hoping that he will have txt & I did not hear it.
I must sound so pathetic:(

Cali Gal

No you don't, we all been there. Don't be so hard on yourself for calling down.

I think he is being honest, it would be worse if he said everything is grand and you guys find yourself in the same place down the road.

Try to keep busy until the time you arranged for you guys to meet.