Friendship slightly strained

friend1

In my late 20’s and of my group of friends, two have become engaged close to a year ago now, and I am genuinely delighted for them. The women they are getting married to are really nice, however over the last little while I’ve noticed that things have become a little distant.
Friends are not as available, willing to go for drinks, which is nderstandable enough to a point, in fact I’ve probably seen them three times in the last 12 months, tops. Now, in addition to that I’ve noticed a trend of ‘couples nights’ where the guys who are in our circle with significant others will be invited along with their girlfriends, but the rest of us are kind of out of the loop, made clear that we are not invited.
On top of that one or two of the girls have made it clear that we are almost a bad influence, and the fact that we are no longer in long term relationships of our own right now seems to be queried.
It’s as if because I am doing what they are doing right now, there’s something odd. Truth is, at 29 years of age having a house of my own is enough commitment and while I will definitely get married, I’m determined to have a good run of good times, traveling and living in different places until my late 30’s…
Anyhow, my point is if things have become like this now are they likely to get worse for our group as the first two ‘settle down’..
Has this happened to other people as in friends vanish?
Should I just write off the friends?..When things become one way in terms of arranging nights out, is it time to leave it..?

Firetrap

I've found that friends can vanish just like that. Some people are great - even when they do hook up with someone else, they make sure to stay in contact with their old friends. Others go into "smug married" mode and embrace that lifestyle with gusto. I've a former friend who actually cut contact with all of us who were single - the penny dropped when those of us in the circle started comparing notes.

Hopefully not all your friends will fall into the smug married category. All you can do is play it by ear. Perhaps it will give some of your other single friends food for thought and make them ensure that if they do hook up with someone, that they don't treat their single friends in the same way.

LegacyUser

It depends on the individual. I'm single & no longer have contact with some of my married friends because they changed so much once they put the ring on, however some of them are still good friends as they dont try to ram the whole "life is so much better when you're married" thing down my throat, and still enjoy a night out with the girls. Things definitely change within a group though once people start getting married & having kids so be prepared.