Friend has turned into complete ***hole

LegacyUser

One of my best friends, who has been in the reserve gardai for a short while now, is starting to become more and more of a pri*k as days go by.

He think's hes the sh*t. Hardly ever goes out or drinks anymore and basically looks down on all of us. Any story we have about encounters with gardai, like being pulled over etc he'll be quick to defend them and tell us how wrong we are. Even though were right.

I asked him one day as a joke that i was thinking of joining the reserves. The response i got was 'they dont just take anyone!!! you need to be motivated and commited and its hard work blah blah blah'. I laughed in his face at this but stopped once i realised he was being serious.

For one thing i've known him for years and motivated and commited is two words that dont suit him at all. I think this whole power of authority thing has turned him into a pr*ick. In my opinion hes a bit of a sap since he doesn't even get paid for it.

I've got nothing against guards except some c***'s ive had encounters with but i've met some really nice ones aswell.

Does anyone think i should confront him about this and tell him he is turning into an ahole?

The Sweeper

Or alternatively instead of being a begrudger, you could take a step backwards and view the fact that your feckless waster mate has finally found something that makes him feel like he's part of a team that can make a difference, isn't wasting his life any more and could actually be someone?

And instead of thinking the power of authority is going to his head, perhaps you could try and see it as a new sense of self worth giving him confidence and making him excited about his life?

And instead of seeing him as unfriendly and antisocial, perhaps you could give some thought to the possibility that in the current economic times, on a reserve garda's salary, perhaps he can't afford the pub and nights out any more because he's trying to take his career seriously?

Or you could tell him he's changed and he's turned into an asshole and he should stay an unmotivated, uncommitted waster just to suit you and then laugh in his face when he tries to defend his chosen career, because of just how great a mate you are yourself...

LegacyUser

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

Or alternatively instead of being a begrudger, you could take a step backwards and view the fact that your feckless waster mate has finally found something that makes him feel like he's part of a team that can make a difference, isn't wasting his life any more and could actually be someone?

And instead of thinking the power of authority is going to his head, perhaps you could try and see it as a new sense of self worth giving him confidence and making him excited about his life?

And instead of seeing him as unfriendly and antisocial, perhaps you could give some thought to the possibility that in the current economic times, on a reserve garda's salary, perhaps he can't afford the pub and nights out any more because he's trying to take his career seriously?

Or you could tell him he's changed and he's turned into an asshole and he should stay an unmotivated, uncommitted waster just to suit you and then laugh in his face when he tries to defend his chosen career, because of just how great a mate you are yourself...

Well from that response you make it sound like you know me (which you dont). For the record were both is college (so were on our way to careers) and the Garda reserve isn't a career as you say it is. I dont see how going out often makes me a waster but compared to an outstanding individual like yourself, i can see how im wasting my life.

He can afford nights out lol, he's just being stingy. His new sense of self worth as you put it, is making him an ***hole.

Oh and one more thing, are you a guard?

LegacyUser

Minesajackdaniels I wouldnt agree with you. I have personal experience akin to the OP where a mate of mine joined the full-time salaried Garda and he changed very like what the OP has described.

It was unbelievable seeing the hearing the nonsense he was starting to spout out, talked about the job at any given chance and generally tried to beef himself up.
When we go out as a group into town he'd flash his badge at doormen to get in free. One night we were in a club after him doing this and a serious fight broke out and the doormen were having difficulty controlling it...did he attempt to help? Of course not despite using his status to get in free he ignored his duty to protect others in need.

To the OP I'd say ignore him and he should soon cop on (no pun intended), in all probability he will find his own clique to hang out with, the type that wear a uniform too.

wylo

OP, confront him, Ive seen it happen before and they dont realise theyre doing it, confront him for his own good, he'll learn later on.

I dont know what Minesajackdaniels problem is in fairness. Mates often turn into pricks when they join up with these kinda things. He's no tbegrudging at all. When your mate starts acting like he knows more than you or starts acting like hes better than you you have to call them on it.

Ive a mate who turned into a guard and became bit of a dick for a while, hes grand again now though as hes matured a bit. Ive even seen it with people joining the FCA when I was young lol. Ive seen lads come back from travelling like this as well, you just have to burst their bubble thats all and their bang on again.

King of Kings

why do people feel the need to stick with mates? get new ones if the currents ones become pricks.

As posted earlier new jobs like the guards or new GF (two experiences I'd had to suffer , sometimes a life change can change the person too) can turn a previously decent guy into an annoying cnut.
Deal with it - just leave him be , it'll sort itself out if it's meant to, go out with other people instead.


LOL - MAJD you certainly got lashed there:D

Liam Byrne

I've never understood the phrase "He thinks he's the s**t".....to me, s**t is something that sticks to your shoes, makes a mess, is completely unwanted and leaves a stink even when you think you've gotten rid of it.

Then again, maybe it is an appropriate phrase for this guy.....

WindSock

Unregistered wrote: »

In my opinion hes a bit of a sap since he doesn't even get paid for it.

This part and the part about you laughing in his face makes you sound a little bit jealous of him. The guy obviously enjoys his job, why are you berating him for it?

Does anyone think i should confront him about this and tell him he is turning into an ahole?

If you think it is a friendship worth saving then yes. Let him know that you find his enthusiasm for his job a bit tiring sometimes.
Sometimes it can be hard for people to swich off from their work when it's leisure time in jobs of his nature. He will learn how to do this with experience. Either that or I am sure he will have no trouble finding new friends with his job, but it shouldnt have to come to the 'it's me or the reserves' now, should it?

TheBlock

He's becoming more of a Prick.
You think he's a Sap.
You laugh in his face.

Does'nt sound like your his mate at all.

He doesn't go out with you much with you any more and you think he looks down on you.

Does'nt sound like he's your mate at all.

I'd forget about it.

omahaid

I know a few guys who joined the garda reserves, they all went a bit like that. To be honest, it seems like the sort of thing to attract those sort, I suggest avoiding for a bit until your friends head deflates.

Adamisconfused

I wouldn’t waste my time talking to someone like that. He isn’t going to change. People fall out with friends the whole time and if it was me, I just wouldn’t have anything else to do with him.

Handsome Bob

Unregistered wrote: »

One of my best friends, who has been in the reserve gardai for a short while now, is starting to become more and more of a pri*k as days go by.

He think's hes the sh*t. Hardly ever goes out or drinks anymore and basically looks down on all of us. Any story we have about encounters with gardai, like being pulled over etc he'll be quick to defend them and tell us how wrong we are. Even though were right.

How is he in general? Like outside of your stories about the gardai, what is he like to hang around with? Is he a "prick" about everything?

I asked him one day as a joke that i was thinking of joining the reserves. The response i got was 'they dont just take anyone!!! you need to be motivated and commited and its hard work blah blah blah'. I laughed in his face at this but stopped once i realised he was being serious.

So he dismissed your ability to do the job? And in fairness to you OP by laughing in his face he got off lightly, I would have told him in no uncertain terms what I thought about him.

For one thing i've known him for years and motivated and commited is two words that dont suit him at all. I think this whole power of authority thing has turned him into a pr*ick. In my opinion hes a bit of a sap since he doesn't even get paid for it.

Well it's a good thing that he now feels motivated and that he has a purpose. However, if he is becoming egotistical about it then you need to tackle that OP. Just because he now feels like a somebody that doesn't give him the right to forget about humility.

Does anyone think i should confront him about this and tell him he is turning into an ahole?

If you think that his friendship is worth saving then yes.

cowzerp

Anyone who joins this unpaid is obviously after a power buzz, why else would they do it, its an ego trip and embarrassing too and not a job, its like been in the scouts only for done for a power trip instead of a hobby.

JonathanAnon

Authority can go to a lot of people's heads. It's a sign of immaturity really. If he pisses you off, dont hang out with him anymore. If he wants to know why you dont want anything to do, let him know.

I had a good friend, who was always a bit dodgy, who changed progressively over the years. Borrowed money from me on the basis of a story that I found out to be completely false. I cut him loose.

It's simple. Dont waste your time with people who's company you dont enjoy.

fabbydabby

This is your classic power trip. I;ve had friends that became guards and most of them were grand, if just a little more responsible (naturally). But I have seen losers who get into positions of power and think they're God Almighty. Really quite laughable.

I don't agree with minesajackdaniels at all, people who are truly deserving of power and more importantly the responsibility that comes with it have no need to weild it or rub your face in it.

As someone else said, the FCA was a major centre for this craic as well. Lads who flip burgers for a living suddenly get to boss round a section of kids and it gives them a throbbing woody and they go to town on it altogether.

I remember people warning me not to get a power trip when I got promoted. I was like... um I had more power on my fkin CO-OP from college than all you losers combined do in here, so don't worry about that.

Best way of taking him down a few pegs is remind him that the real guards think he a loser and that you think it's nothing other than slightly amusing that he's a guard.