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Why should this still be so difficult?

  • 31-07-2009 11:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Why dont relationship issues become easier with age? I'm not a teenager and I'm sitting here agonising over contacting a man to see if he wants to take things further or not. I'm sure people in their teens & 20's think that it all gets so much easier when we "grow up" but does it ever? If that was the case, why cant I just pick up the phone & tell this person what I want? Or do (older) men think it's still not acceptable for a female to make the first approach?


Comments

  • #2
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Generally, I have found that it doesn't become easier overall, but what changes is our tolerance and experience. For example, a break-up when you're young can be devasting, but when you're an adult you have the experience of a few break-ups behind you and can overcome them easier.

    One guy is not worth agonising over. Focus on your own needs in life first, and then worry about hooking up with a guy. You don't always want to be running around after a man, do you?

    Kevin


  • #3
    wylo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,214 ✭✭✭wylo


    just ask him up front, in a non roundabout way, theres nothing wrong whatsoever with women making an approach. Its something they seem to have built up in their own minds. Because I dont know any guy that thinks anything of a woman making an approach.
    Just ask him, and if he starts weasling around the question then hes probably not for you.
    And to answer your other question, no I dont think it becomes easier tbh. But tbh if it did, where would all the fun be? Its part and parcel of the excitment of meeting someone new in your life. It makes you feel young again when you realise that things like that dont change.


  • #4
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    There's two things going on here....

    1) You're "agonising" over it, which is extreme......if it's something you want to do, do it

    ....which leads directly [almost too directly] on to my second thing

    2) If you want to ask him, ask him!

    What's the worst that could happen ? He says no ? At worst, it'll put you out of your agonising.

    Anything else is a plus, which means there's far more scope for plusses than minuses....


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