Am I invisible?

Dr_Phil

I consider myself as invisible. No one replies to my posts - tbh sometimes I wonder if I really posted anything... People seem to ignore me, passing by every day... Why is that?

Kidchameleon

Hey your not invisible, people on this site care allot, how can we help?

Dr_Phil

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Hey your not invisible, people on this site care allot, how can we help?

React in any way please

Silverfish

Dr_Phil, can you let us know the precise nature of your issue please?

Dr_Phil

Silverfish wrote: »

Dr_Phil, can you let us know the precise nature of your issue please?

I'm trying to establish why people seem to ignore me, I feel absolutely invisible on the street, forum, work, even skangers have no interest in me Just wondering why is that? Is that I do something wrong or rather the times are getting sh*te and people don't see anything apart from the credit card...

Silverfish

What do you bring to the table as regards other people? Do you engage them in conversation?

Dr_Phil

Silverfish wrote: »

What do you bring to the table as regards other people? Do you engage them in conversation?

I suspect I might be too shy... As I'm foreign national I'm also always afraid that people change the attitude against me, once they hear a different accent. I also don't think I am cool, fit and handsome. I have interest in photography, but I have no one to go out with, take a few photos, compare, discuss - so I do it on my own. I don't even think that there is any point to ask anyone, because everyone is so busy and cool nowadays: parties, birthdays and crowd of friends having a "craic".

Uuh...Got that stuff of me chest.

marbar

there's loads of photography groups
look them up

Silverfish

Dr_Phil wrote: »

I suspect I might be too shy... As I'm foreign national I'm also always afraid that people change the attitude against me, once they hear a different accent. .

Some people might, but most wont.

I also don't think I am cool, fit and handsome. I have interest in photography, but I have no one to go out with, take a few photos, compare, discuss - so I do it on my own.

Have you looked at the photography forum on boards? They meet up a bit as far as I know. That could be interesting, and a good way of meeting people.

Dr_Phil

Silverfish wrote: »

Have you looked at the photography forum on boards? They meet up a bit as far as I know. That could be interesting, and a good way of meeting people.

I'l take a look. Hope they don't mind beginners.

wylo

they probably prefer beginners as they get to teach you stuff.

You need to put yourself out there more OP, you seem to act like your waiting for stuff to happen to you.
I was a foreigner abroad too and I know how it feels, theres definitely a slight exclusion, one of the reasons(IMO) is that people might have it built in to them that you will not be here for good. They've no way of knowing you see. So its up to you to put yourself out there and be heard. I work with a turkish lad with a very forward friendly attitude and hes probably more popular than most Irish lads there. Irish people love people with a smile.

5uspect

Post some of you're photos on the Photography forum for Comment and Critique, put C&C in the thread title.
You won't be long wishing to be invisible again!
You'll get lots of (mostly helpful) feedback.
Also there are a lot of group events organised there.

Dr_Phil

Thanks everyone. I posted a new thread on Photography and I'm waiting for feedback. Thanks for just talking to me. Have a good weekend folks.

Silverfish

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I posted a new thread on Photography and I'm waiting for feedback. Thanks for just talking to me. Have a good weekend folks.

See? When you put yourself out there, you do get a return from people

The important thing is - unfortunately - most times we have to make the effort ourselves. I understand you're shy so it'll be that bit harder for you, but like anything, with practice, you can overcome that.

Good luck.

mehmeh12

Dr Phil to be honest i think most irish people in this country are generally racist. I can't say for your life but i'm foreign second generation. Besides my skin color im as irish as the locals. But the fact remains foreigners in this country are treated like ****. In fact to be honest the only real friends i have are foreign themselves. Take it from someone born and bred here for the past 20 years, sure make some effort but don't bother caring that the locals are a bunch of assholes.

MizzLolly

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Dr Phil to be honest i think most irish people in this country are generally racist. I can't say for your life but i'm foreign second generation. Besides my skin color im as irish as the locals. But the fact remains foreigners in this country are treated like ****. In fact to be honest the only real friends i have are foreign themselves. Take it from someone born and bred here for the past 20 years, sure make some effort but don't bother caring that the locals are a bunch of assholes.

hey I'm Irish and I have loads of non-Irish friends who I love just as much as any of my Irish friends. Your post is pretty harsh.


Good Luck Dr. Phil. The photography forum looks like good fun, you'll definately get to talk to people in there

mehmeh12

Yes my post is very harsh...if not sadly realistic of how foreigners are treated in this society :mad:

Hamiltonion

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Yes my post is very harsh...if not sadly realistic of how foreigners are treated in this society :mad:

Do you mind me asking where you live/work? I'm a student and i'd say 50% of my friends are foreign nationals, I accept them and they accept me. Are you sure you're making an effort with the locals and not infact pidgeon-holing yourself? Theres muslim ghettos in London because of this sort of thing, there needs to be give and take.

Dr Phil, everyone on the photography forum are v nice and helpful, I'd suggest just making a concious effort to meet people. Go along to events that interest you, talk to people on the bus, in librarys etc. It takes a while to get into the habit but its how friends are made, good luck!

mehmeh12

I wont go into specifics but i live and work in a middle class south side area of county dublin. I was born here before the year 2004- when citizenship legislation was changed to require one parent to be Irish in order for children of foreign nationalities to become citizens. Suffice it to say i've found that most people here are just blunt assholes. Perhaps its because im foreign but i generally i get on better with foreigners. And no I'm not sectioning myself from Irish society... i participate when necessary. In any case i have quite a few mates who feel the same as i do. We choose to be this way.

Micky Dolenz

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Yes my post is very harsh...if not sadly realistic of how foreigners are treated in this society :mad:

I spent a good few years of my life as a foreigner and you are treated differently no doubt about it. Don't think it is unique to this society.

wylo

mehmeh12 wrote: »

I wont go into specifics but i live and work in a middle class south side area of county dublin. I was born here before the year 2004- when citizenship legislation was changed to require one parent to be Irish in order for children of foreign nationalities to become citizens. Suffice it to say i've found that most people here are just blunt assholes. Perhaps its because im foreign but i generally i get on better with foreigners. And no I'm not sectioning myself from Irish society... i participate when necessary. In any case i have quite a few mates who feel the same as i do. We choose to be this way.

did you not stop to think that maybe its you and the type of people you are friends with?
Racism is everywhere including Ireland but tbh I have many good foreign mates who say they love it here.
Im not denying that there is problems but it seems by your post that you got the real short end of the stick.

MizzLolly

mehmeh12 wrote: »

I wont go into specifics but i live and work in a middle class south side area of county dublin. I was born here before the year 2004- when citizenship legislation was changed to require one parent to be Irish in order for children of foreign nationalities to become citizens. Suffice it to say i've found that most people here are just blunt assholes. Perhaps its because im foreign but i generally i get on better with foreigners. And no I'm not sectioning myself from Irish society... i participate when necessary. In any case i have quite a few mates who feel the same as i do. We choose to be this way.

You accept that we're not all racist 'assholes' though?

Maybe your bad relationship with your locals has very little to do with race, I hate where I grew up. Don't like the people, their attitudes, the general ways of living and thinking etc. Sometimes people just clash. But I don't think it's fair to say that no foreign nationals fit in here because all Irish people are pricks. As I said, I've loads of friends from all over the world, Brazil, Italy, Sierra Leone, Estonia, England, Germany, France etc.. I'd hate to think that my friendship with them is deemed unacceptable in this country. I do accept that racism is rife out there but I think for every ignorant fool, there are a handful of nice people who couldn't care less about how Irish you are or aren't.

I hope Dr Phil doesn't take too much notice of your post and carries on making the effort to integrate, I'm sure there are plenty of people here who have loads in common with him.

mehmeh12

Ah yes here we go. I could do the Irish thing and say 'i'm not racist but i don't like x community/subject'. To be honest the idea that we live in a multicultural society where everyone is treated equally is a farce. Yes you can say this about other societies and in respect to other social characteristics; gender, age, class etc. But for some integration is not a option..the fact is that people like being among their own kind. Yes in an ideal world everyone should be tolerant of one another but this is not reality. In any case dont most people associate being Irish and being racist as a misnomer? if thats the case then im a product of my environment.

freedom of info

Dr_Phil wrote: »

I consider myself as invisible. No one replies to my posts - tbh sometimes I wonder if I really posted anything... People seem to ignore me, passing by every day... Why is that?

who said that?

Silverfish

freedom of info, off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

Please read the charter before posting. Thank you.

wylo

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Ah yes here we go. I could do the Irish thing and say 'i'm not racist but i don't like x community/subject'. To be honest the idea that we live in a multicultural society where everyone is treated equally is a farce. Yes you can say this about other societies and in respect to other social characteristics; gender, age, class etc. But for some integration is not a option..the fact is that people like being among their own kind. Yes in an ideal world everyone should be tolerant of one another but this is not reality. In any case dont most people associate being Irish and being racist as a misnomer? if thats the case then im a product of my environment.

No offense, but from reading this and your other posts , it seems to me that its you who is in fact racist of others , not the irish. get over yourself man , if you dont like our people then dont hang around, and yes Ive said that to white irish people too.

mehmeh12

To the OP, if you do make some meaningful contact with the locals, making friends etc then write back..it would be interesting to hear what you report back.

The the asshole who just posted: i only write what i get from reality. If i read as being racist then that reflects on the society we live in. And no im not moving out..not till i want to that is.

zeppe

Hey Irish people dont like each other either, its not just foreigners:D

freedom of info

Silverfish wrote: »

freedom of info, off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

Please read the charter before posting. Thank you.

humble apologies, i didn't mean to offend anyone

mehmeh12

Yes but when one is from a racial minority you can't help but feel that the notion of 'us and them' is quite true.

And freedom of information please get the **** of of this thread. Troll alert!

Teferi

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Yes my post is very harsh...if not sadly realistic of how foreigners are treated in this society :mad:

Lobster balloon racing driver poopies.



There you go, now I made just as sense as your post did. Utter rubbish.
I'd say that the majority of people in Ireland aren't really bothered by foreigners one way or another.

mehmeh12

Dare I ask what didn't make sense with my post?

Silverfish

mehmeh12 wrote: »

To the OP, if you do make some meaningful contact with the locals, making friends etc then write back..it would be interesting to hear what you report back.

The the asshole who just posted: i only write what i get from reality. If i read as being racist then that reflects on the society we live in. And no im not moving out..not till i want to that is.

Personal abuse is not permitted on this forum. Banned for a week.

Hamiltonion

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Ah yes here we go. I could do the Irish thing and say 'i'm not racist but i don't like x community/subject'. To be honest the idea that we live in a multicultural society where everyone is treated equally is a farce. Yes you can say this about other societies and in respect to other social characteristics; gender, age, class etc. But for some integration is not a option..the fact is that people like being among their own kind. Yes in an ideal world everyone should be tolerant of one another but this is not reality. In any case dont most people associate being Irish and being racist as a misnomer? if thats the case then im a product of my environment.

Well then why are you here? Move back to wherever you feel at home. If i moved to lets say Japan, my friends would mostly be natives, I'd have to live according to their customs and traditions, and I'm sure if i integrated myself into their society I'd be treated with open arms. If i didnt integrate of course I'd always be an outsider, and if i didnt like this I could go home, and rightly so!

Dr_Phil

Hey!!

Please do not turn this into another "foreigner" thread.

I just wanted to say that I feel bad sometimes, as probably most of us, no matter what colour, nationality or religion we are. The only reason I mentioned that I'm foreign is to help you understand, that apart from usual problems, that one may be an additional stuff to carry.

mehmeh12 - I do respect everybody, I try to learn from everybody as much as I can. Are you trying to say that for 4,3 million Irish there is no one decent? I also do respect Africans, Americans, Indians, Muslims, Irish, Germans and everybody else - because I don't care where are they from, what colour their skin is, how fat they are, how long hair they have - but I do care what people they are. I don't want to heal my frustrations by finding an enemy and blame them for all bad stuff that has happened/happening to me. Turning me against the Irish won't automatically make me your friend - united against the common enemy, if you know what I mean.

Now, a word to the Irish, saying "INTEGRATE" - Do you realise how frustrating it is to hear: "You should integrate, mate" and - at the same time -"No, I'm busy, can't go", "No, sorry man, aunties birthday", "Uuups, my battery got flat, couldn't answer your call" , "Did you text me? Oh, really?" and all this bulls*it. I don't know, but sometimes it looks like you were building a wall around you and your friends, shouting at the same time "Integrate! All immigrants should integrate!"

A lot of bo11ox!

Thank God I know a few decent Irish and as well as the other-nationals I am a good friend with... But sometimes I just feel invisible, left to myself and forgotten. And I don't know how to get rid of that feeling - thats why I posted here, to share it with you.

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it. Ah, and apologies for any mistakes - feel free to correct me anytime...

another1

hmm...some people went out of topic but the question might be complicated and reasons go in different directions...Dr Phil -yuo're not invisible - you just need to find the right people!/or just they will find you - sometimes you can'd do much -it just happens... and believe me sometimes i prefer being invisible ...don't try to look for the reason only in you - you're a human as any other /probably better than many others/...it has been a bit difficult for me too to make friends but it takes time and when it happens - it's worth it!just the contemporary environment is a bit strange...or it's the place ) btw-i like photography too - still in grief for my broken camera...