Feeling lost and alone

LegacyUser

This may turn out to be a longwinded post but I just need to get some things off my chest.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm feeling incredibly run down, lonely and don't see much happening in the future.

I've always suffered with anxiety and stress. I allow myself to get worked up over the stupidest of things. Even when in school or college I would get myself into a panic at exam times worrying about where I am supposed to sit. I worried about other stupid things like that which was ridiculous. I think that kind of panicking has gone now that I am somewhat older but I still get myself worked up over things I probably shouldn't and I tend to dwell on things for a long time after the incident. I can be over sensitive and I take everything to heart. I seem to think about things that people say to me for a long time after and analyse every word.

This year and last have been tough. A lot of things have happened. My career has come to somewhat of an end as there is no work in the industry I spent four years in college studying for. I am working and in a job which I don't particularly hate but at the same time I wouldn't exactly describe it as my dream job.

I've lost contact with a lot of people and have become stuck in what seems like a never ending rut! Some friends I lost contact with purposely as they turned out to be dragging me down making me out to be "abnormal" when in reality they were the ones with the problem. As such I don't have anyone that I consider a best friend anymore, hence the loneliness.

Men have been the bane of my life. I fall out of one disaster and into the next. I thought I had finally found someone that was gonna be the best thing to ever happen to me. But that ended in tears and caused me a lot of heart break and it's taken me what some might consider to be far too long to get over him. We weren't going out for long but I fell for him very quickly. I have never had such strong feelings for someone in my life.

Tbh I'm not even 100% sure why I am writing this. I'm not sure what kind of advice it is I am looking for. I suppose I just needed some sort of outlet

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

This may turn out to be a longwinded post but I just need to get some things off my chest.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm feeling incredibly run down, lonely and don't see much happening in the future.

I've always suffered with anxiety and stress. I allow myself to get worked up over the stupidest of things. Even when in school or college I would get myself into a panic at exam times worrying about where I am supposed to sit. I worried about other stupid things like that which was ridiculous. I think that kind of panicking has gone now that I am somewhat older but I still get myself worked up over things I probably shouldn't and I tend to dwell on things for a long time after the incident. I can be over sensitive and I take everything to heart. I seem to think about things that people say to me for a long time after and analyse every word.

This year and last have been tough. A lot of things have happened. My career has come to somewhat of an end as there is no work in the industry I spent four years in college studying for. I am working and in a job which I don't particularly hate but at the same time I wouldn't exactly describe it as my dream job.

I've lost contact with a lot of people and have become stuck in what seems like a never ending rut! Some friends I lost contact with purposely as they turned out to be dragging me down making me out to be "abnormal" when in reality they were the ones with the problem. As such I don't have anyone that I consider a best friend anymore, hence the loneliness.

Men have been the bane of my life. I fall out of one disaster and into the next. I thought I had finally found someone that was gonna be the best thing to ever happen to me. But that ended in tears and caused me a lot of heart break and it's taken me what some might consider to be far too long to get over him. We weren't going out for long but I fell for him very quickly. I have never had such strong feelings for someone in my life.

Tbh I'm not even 100% sure why I am writing this. I'm not sure what kind of advice it is I am looking for. I suppose I just needed some sort of outlet

Sounds like the way my life used to be......... Sorry to hear youre down. I wont patronise you and tell you to join clubs to meet people or any of that crap. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I came out and so can you, all you gotta do is never give up. Just keep trying and working on yourself. You will be ok.

bakkiesbotha

You need to get some exercise. Take up running, drink lots of water every day and get fit. It will clear your head and give you energy to tackle the other issues in your life. If circumstances are preventing you from reaching your career goals, it will give you some other goals to work towards, and raise your self esteem.

VaioCruiser

Hi OP - I am sorry you are in such a predicament.

After getting your social life revved up again you really need to sit down and reassess what kind of men you are attracted to. Because you will continue to repeat the vicious cycle over and over and over again each time to continue to chose the same kind of man.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

I am just feeling really down at the moment and I just feel like I am never gonna come out of it.

I had such a large circle of friends when I was in my old line of work and there was always a great social life attached to it. I hardly ever go out these days and it's not because i don't want to. My weekends were always jam packed and there was never a weekend that I stayed in. But since I've lost contact with my friends that doesn't happen anymore. I go out every now and then but it's just not the same.

Vaio you are right I do need to assess my choice in men cos they have all been the same. But I genuinely thought the latest one was gonna be different. For once I felt like a guy actually wanted to be with me for me, someone who really liked being in my company. We spent a lot of time together at the start and always had a great time whenever we were with each other. But then circumstances changed things and he called it off which devastated me because I didn't see it coming.

I realise I need to take steps to change things becuse it's affecting me physically. I spoke to the doctor about ti today and she prescribed me meds but they're really only a short term solution. It's really down to me to get my life back to what it once was. I used to be a happy go lucky person. Now I've become someone that in many ways I despise. I've always been a nice selfless person but now its at the point where I've become a pushover. People take advantage of my niceness which I never would have stood for before. It gets me down

idontknowmyname

Hi OP, this sounds exactly like my situation. I've been feeling this way for years and feel that some 'friends' used me and then ditched me when someone better came along.
I now have a good circle of close friends, but still am a big stresser and feel moe anxious than ever. I'm just trying to better myself by looking at part-time courses etc. It's tough but I'm trying.
Hopefully the meds will make you feel a little better

Humantouch

OP, There are two ways that you can see your situation & understandably, at the moment you see the negative. You need to start trying to make the positive choices. Think about what kind of job that you would really love to do & why you would love to do it. Then think of what would need to change to make that job a possibility. It is much easier to come across as enthusiastic if it is something that you really want to do.

Romance is much harder. Always bear in mind that if you are feeling vulnerable, some men will pick up on this & use it to their advantage. You say that the end came out of the blue but do you blame yourself, because it's probably not your fault ?.

Confidence can be so hard to find but once you do it can affect your whole life from getting the right job to finding the right man. At the end of the day people can help you but only you can make a real change. Every day try & do one little thing that makes you feel better about yourself & better about life. Little things can add up.

CDfm

You need to get involved with life and get in touch with old friends and ex colleagues and create that social life for yourself. Thats a huge issue for you and I think only you can solve that.

The past such as being bullied in school etc is the past and you shouldnt let it define you.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

I am just feeling really down at the moment and I just feel like I am never gonna come out of it.

I had such a large circle of friends when I was in my old line of work and there was always a great social life attached to it. I hardly ever go out these days and it's not because i don't want to. My weekends were always jam packed and there was never a weekend that I stayed in. But since I've lost contact with my friends that doesn't happen anymore. I go out every now and then but it's just not the same.

Vaio you are right I do need to assess my choice in men cos they have all been the same. But I genuinely thought the latest one was gonna be different. For once I felt like a guy actually wanted to be with me for me, someone who really liked being in my company. We spent a lot of time together at the start and always had a great time whenever we were with each other. But then circumstances changed things and he called it off which devastated me because I didn't see it coming.

I realise I need to take steps to change things becuse it's affecting me physically. I spoke to the doctor about ti today and she prescribed me meds but they're really only a short term solution. It's really down to me to get my life back to what it once was. I used to be a happy go lucky person. Now I've become someone that in many ways I despise. I've always been a nice selfless person but now its at the point where I've become a pushover. People take advantage of my niceness which I never would have stood for before. It gets me down

Hey,

What you have said mirrors my life exactly at the moment, lost touch with friends, just broke up with a self absorbed psychotic girl who I treated well, I am on zanex and anti depressants, always been a selfless person which in many ways has been a downfall of sorts, I would love for the to go back to the way things were, unfortunatly when you have to start again theres a S*** thing called time and when you have to start twice in one year well I can tell you its hard. Dont let anything get you down, remain strong no matter how frustrated you get, no matter what it will serve as a learning curve, in my opinion you will be able to walk away from bad s**t a lot easier, you shouldnt change who you are for anyone as you sound fine, the unfortunate thing is, meeting like minded people is near impossible and building expectations of those who are not only leads to disappointment.

Good luck