I'm an idiot

LegacyUser

have to go unreg for this...

im 23 and I broke up wit my bf of 1 1/2 years 2 wks ago. last week I went out wit my mates to try to cheer up. stupidly, i ended up meetin a guy at a party and we had unprotected sex. i am not proud about any of this by the way... i was very drunk and didnt even remember havin sex until he told me next morning. i was so shocked because iv never forgotten something as important as that while drunk. this was on friday night after a club. i was so embarrassed i got up and joined the remainder of the party crew downstairs. I left almost immediately. i had a hectic saturday and sunday between work and stuff (My ex and I met up to try to sort things out,my head was a mess, not thinking straight)on Monday the guy i slept with text - i musta given it to him fri night. and all of a sudden it dawned on me to ask was everything 'safe'. He questioned it and said that I told him I was on the pill and advised me to get the MA pill if i was not. He was sober, said he didnt come but that i could still get pregnant, im not on the pill. I was on the pill but stopped takin it 3 months ago. I reckon I must have forgotten wen i was drunk. *idiot* On monday i was minding relation's kids in the countryside and had no way of paying for or getting to a docs, no car, no1 around. I asked him was it really neccessary seein as it was only about a week after my period. He said to be on the safe side yes. I dont want to be shocking but there is 99% certainty that i will not keep a baby if i am pregnant. I reckon he was just sayin get it for his own peace of ,mind but it wuda been literally impossible to get it and its not really needed if he didnt come?
After i explained my cicumstances,The guy was very uncoporative, didnt answer his phone or reply to 2 worried texts.monday would hav been my last chance to get the pill. Apparently day 9-15 of your cycle is the most fertile time. i would have been on day 8 or so, not too sure.sperm can live for up to 5 days. My friends would look down on me in disgust if i told them and id rather they didnt know anyway. The guy wont even reassure me that he didnt come, although he did initially say he didnt.I know Iv scared him off but I just needed to know the facts.He replied yday about normal chat but when i questioned him he ignored me.
Im so scared and alone, my mind is workin in overdrive and its killin me. Iv made a stupid drunken mistake. Im not getting back wit my ex now, I couldnt really after what I have done. I just have to grin and bear it now and wait it out? this may sound odd but i feel different down there,sometimes even strange sharp pains,lots of eh movement (i know its not in my stomach!and i know theres no signs of pregnancy til at least 2 months on) cant explain really but it feels different. what do you think the chances are? i know i come across as a drunken slag but its seriously out of character and a big mistake. Would appreciate any positive input thanks.

kittenkiller

I think your best bet would be to go to a doctor now and have a little chat about things and see when they say.
A wellwoman clinic would have heard that all before and should be well able to advise you about your options.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Do you usually forget stuff like that? (Having sex) It's kind of a big thing to forget.
Would you often get so drunk that you don't remember stuff?
Did he or anyone one buy you any drinks?

It's just weird that you say you don't remember having sex, even in my most wasted state, I'd remember if I slept with someone, and as you said yourself "i was so shocked because iv never forgotten something as important as that while drunk."

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Do you usually forget stuff like that? (Having sex) It's kind of a big thing to forget.
Would you often get so drunk that you don't remember stuff?
Did he or anyone one buy you any drinks?

It's just weird that you say you don't remember having sex, even in my most wasted state, I'd remember if I slept with someone, and as you said yourself "i was so shocked because iv never forgotten something as important as that while drunk."

Did you miss this part?:

"i was so shocked because iv never forgotten something as important as that while drunk."

R.D. aka MR.D

try to relax and visit the doctor as soon as possible.

The sensatations could just be to do with over awareness. your thinking about something down there so things you normally wouldn't notice are magnified.

Make sure to get an sti test in the near future when you get it sorted out.

But first things first go to the doctor and chat about this and she what she can do.

I hope it works out well for you.

Feyy

i was very drunk and didnt even remember havin sex until he told me next morning.

Possibility of a spiked drink maybe?

Maybe i'm a bit paranoid but you can't trust people these days.

Anyways, it's best to talk to your GP regarding medical/pregnancy issues.

vandermeyde

Feyy wrote: »

Possibility of a spiked drink maybe?

Spiked with alcohol!

Get to the doc op and get an STI test. Make sure to carry some condoms with you in future, just in case.

LegacyUser

OP I have a 13-year-old daughter conceived in exactly the same circumstances ... a drunken encounter with a guy who "didn't come".

I have no regrets whatsoever about it but you clearly are not happy with the situation.

Stop guessing, stop talking to him, stop talking to US and get your butt to the doctor's office pronto!

Good luck.

alantc

Feyy wrote: »

Possibility of a spiked drink maybe?

It may come as some surprise to you, but girls get horny too. The chance of having your drink spiked in Ireland is near nil.

The Rotunda Hospital wrote:

Dr Henry told the Oireachtas Committee that some young women attending the Rotunda Sexual Assault Unit were too hungover to know for sure if they had been raped or assaulted. Some were convinced their drinks had been spiked and asked for blood tests, but not a single test proved positive. Instead, alcohol levels of 350-400mg were discovered. The legal limit for drivers is 80mg.

Also: sluts.

The Recliner

alantc wrote: »

It may come as some surprise to you, but girls get horny too. The chance of having your drink spiked in Ireland is near nil.


Also: sluts.

Saying people who were drunk and possibly raped are sluts is not on

You should go to the doctor OP and get yourself checked. Is it possible to see if there's trace amounts of any drug that may have been used? Also, get checked for STi's and pregnancy.

Better safe than sorry.

LegacyUser

hey op

first things first. go to doc. now today. get emergency contraceptive pill if its not too late. if it is get that coil thingy. forget about this coming versus not coming stuff. forget about this time of cycle stuff. its all BS you can get pregnant at any time of your cycle and even if guy doesn't not ejacutale or if he ejaculates outside you. go to doctor who deals with womens health ASAP


second. ok you were so drunk you didn't remember having sex. he was sober. Ermmmm thats well WELL sketchy. he at the least took advantage of you. listen i'm a guy. i've more than once had opportunity to sleep with girls who were wasted drunk when i was sober - even some that i was dating for a while and hadn't quite slept with yet. i knew i could sleep with them but i didn't and wouldn't do it. because i knew if they were sober they wouldn't do it. its just taking advantage, its jsut wrong. it can really **** someone up. many people would call this date rape (hmmm controversial - my thinking is - if guy is wasted too then blame is equal and it takes two to tango. if guy (or girl for that matter) is sober and other is wasted - then the sober one knows they are taking advantage.) Thats way WAY not on. And now he is being a jerk. I think if you can't speak to your friends you should certinaly speak to a professionl - Well Woman clinic or whatever.

But do yourself a favour and speak to professional in the area NOW and stop tormenting yourself with what ifs ?

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Did you miss this part?:

"i was so shocked because iv never forgotten something as important as that while drunk."

.... that she remembers ...

Regrettably the epidemic of binge drinking among women is contributing to a lot of this in the last few years. When you drink that quantity of alcohol you have to be ready to take the consequences.

get ready to make some life changing decisions.


All the best.

Rorate Caeli

Unregistered wrote: »

its all BS you can get pregnant at any time of your cycle and even if guy doesn't not ejacutale or if he ejaculates outside you. go to doctor who deals with womens health ASAP

How does that work? Parthenogenesis?

LegacyUser

Go to doctor or Wellwoman clinic asap no matter what the cost

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
I think you should stop and relax, calm down a bit .Firstly I know this is very difficult for you and very scarey but for your own sake you have to think logically.
I am older than you but even with planned pregnancies I was very scared too as I married very young.
Forget about the guy..sorry to be harsh but you need to do what's best for you..forget him ok
Next try to make an appointment with a GP..they deal with this all the time. If you prefer to go to a new one then do so. He/she can discuss your options but I believe after 5 days it is too late for the coil to be fitted.
Unfortunately it's a bank hol weekend so if they're not open Sat it will be Tuesday at the earliest.
It may be an idea to get in touch with Positive Options and also you can get info from Marie Stopes on the internet.

I have been pregnant a few times and I have found clearblue easy the best home pregnancy test..however I only used them when period late so can't say how the new ones work before period due..maybe somebody on here has used the new ones.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help and explore your options.
I had my kids young ,but being a young married mum is not the same as bringing up a child on your own..I do not think I could have done it.
Good luck and keep posting if you need support.

alantc

Unregistered wrote: »

he at the least took advantage of you.

Original Poster wrote:

im 23 and I broke up wit my bf of 1 1/2 years 2 wks ago.

She wanted it. Every thread in here advising people on getting over their exes encourages hooking up with someone new. The girl went out, got drunk, met a guy, and probably had a good ****ing time. She's not here crying victim -- it's everybody else trying to make it sound like that.

Deleted User wrote: »

Is it possible to see if there's trace amounts of any drug that may have been used?

It is possible, but Senator Mary Henry MD from the Rotunda Hospital told the Oireachtas Committee on Health and Children that it has never happened. Stop perpetuating this myth. You're causing unnecessary anxiety in girls going out trying to have a good time. Alcohol causes blackouts. If you haven't experienced this, you're probably pretty boring.

Unregistered wrote: »

you can get pregnant at any time of your cycle and even if guy doesn't not ejacutale or if he ejaculates outside you. go to doctor who deals with womens health ASAP

I've been chastised for saying this here before, but the withdrawal method works. I've used it a few hundred times, on multiple women.

Silverfish

alantc, if you have an agenda to push, do not push it in this thread.

If you cannot post constructive helpful advice to the OP, do not post. This is your final warning.

alantc

Silverfish wrote: »

alantc, if you have an agenda to push, do not push it in this thread.

If you cannot post constructive helpful advice to the OP, do not post. This is your final warning.

Excuse me if you misunderstood.

I'm the only one who seems to understand that the girl had rebound sex to help get over her previous relationship, and is OK with this. This was quite likely productive (Taylor & Sharkey, 2007, p.9). I'm not sure why people are making a big deal of this, but I doubt it is helping her, do you?

Twice during this thread it has been suggested she was drugged (Feyy, Deleted User). It has previously been established, by one of the country's main hospitals, to the government, that date rape drugs have never been found in the blood of any Irish women. "The logic was inescapable; there had been no "spiking" by date-rape drugs" (Dodd, 2003). The continued propagation of misinformation in this forum should be addressed. Are you suggesting I was out of line when I corrected these posts?

The original poster's primary concern is the possibility of being pregnant. I shared my personal experience with not getting girls pregnant while engaging in sex similar to hers. One can easily find that "coitus interruptus is reasonably effective" (Santow, 1995, p.1477). Was I wrong to give the positive input she requested?


I don't have an agenda, I'm not even sure what exactly you're insinuating. Everything above is helpful and relevant. If you are going to address my points, try to do so in the context of the OP.


To the OP: you'll be grand.


Bibliography:

Dodd, S. (2003). Girls too drunk to remember sex fear drinks were 'spiked'. Retrieved July 31, 2009, from Irish Independent: http://www.independent.ie/national-news/girls-too-drunk-to-remember-sex-fear-drinks-were-spiked-488142.html

Santow, G. (1995). Coitus interruptus and the Control of Natural Fertility. Population Studies: A Journal of Demography, 49(1), 1477-4747.

Taylor, E., & Sharkey, L. (2007). Em & Lo's Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped. San Francisco: Chronicle Books.

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

i am not proud about any of this by the way... [last week] i was very drunk and didnt even remember havin sex until he told me next morning. i was so shocked because iv never forgotten something as important as that while drunk..

You may have been spiked with something, and there may still be traces of it in your blood or urine. You should go see a doctor about it immediately to rule out rape.

It has previously been established, by one of the country's main hospitals, to the government, that date rape drugs have never been found in the blood of any Irish women. "The logic was inescapable; there had been no "spiking" by date-rape drugs" (Dodd, 2003). The continued propagation of misinformation in this forum should be addressed. Are you suggesting I was out of line when I corrected these posts?

2003.

Also, what are they testing for and how are they testing for it. They could be checking for ecstasy and not checking for rhohypnol. Or chloroform for that matter. I dont pretend to be a chemist, but I do understand its not quite as easy as Shatner's Tricorder.

LegacyUser

Overheal wrote: »

You may have been spiked with something, and there may still be traces of it in your blood or urine. You should go see a doctor about it immediately to rule out rape.
.

As a female I have to say that I have had sex once without knowing it when drunk so it is quite possible that the OPs drink was not spiked. I'm not proud of it but I know for a fact I was only drinking wine that I had been pouring myself all night so it was purely drink related. I think wine is responsible for a lot of blackouts in recent years. People think it's not a serious drink & dont realise the impact it can have. I now avoid it unless I'm only having a glass or two.

jimmycrackcorm

Pimpey wrote: »

Saying people who were drunk and possibly raped are sluts is not on

The OP said she was very drunk. I've been very drunk lots of time that I don't remember the taxi home. Let's not all run with the drunk = no memory = rape theory.It is very easy to pick up on certain clues or conversation snippets and draw another conclusion altogether.

Overheal

ogradyp wrote: »

What?! Girl has sex with bloke while drunk. Girl wakes up, half remembers and has regrets. Ah yes, the logic here is to assume girl to be raped and drugged.

I have to agree with alantc: can we please get over this "spiked" myth.

she didnt "half remember", she didnt remember at all.

Silverfish

Back on topic please. This debate is of no help to the OP, and is more suited to the Humanities forum where you may start a thread on it instead if you wish.

lau1247

get test kit from local pharmacy and it'll confirm to a good degree of accuracy whether you are pregnant or not..

Then GP if you are pregnant to see your options