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I hate myself

  • 30-07-2009 10:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    ok here we go...

    23 years old, and quite honestly i cant stand myself. Im over weight, have serious issues with food. I know that myself, i just dont know how to control it. Everytime i look in the mirror i hate what i see. I hate letting my BF touch me. Have suffered with depression for years but right now i just feel like such a waste of space. I just dont know what to do...


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi. I know what its like to hate yourself. I've been there myself. I had depression for a good few years, was on meds, cut myself, bascially in a very bad place. I still have depression but am off the meds now & compared to a few years ago im much better. I'm a single guy, few years older then you. Was single when i had it bad too & the worst thing was not having someone to talk too.

    My advice would be to talk it through with your bf when your feeling low, also get out, go to the beach & get some fresh air. Set yourself goals. I remeber telling myself I will have a good job by such a date, & i did!! (although Mr recession took it away a few wks ago:()
    Your very young, making changes does take time & challenges will come along. But write down a list of what your grateful for & it will help too.

    Take care.


  • #3
    Ibrahimovic91
    Closed Accounts Posts: 186 ✭✭Ibrahimovic91


    ok first you need to put down the butter...OMG j/k
    op appearences doesnt matter its about whats on the inside, everyone feels down, i am in great shape(im a guy btw and im 18 years old) but even sometimes i feel i look a bit fat or my face is a little puffy etc. however this is just stupid as i work out all the time and have very low bodyfat :)

    my advice op is just o get walking, and just try be active, theres no problem being overweight but u feel the need to change so maby join a gym? i think you should. trustfully nobody will feel you are bad in fact everyone will hope you the best and if i seen you in the gym i'd be like ehy that persons cool trying to change.

    good luck :):) L)


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Unregistered wrote: »
    ok here we go...

    23 years old, and quite honestly i cant stand myself. Im over weight, have serious issues with food. I know that myself, i just dont know how to control it. Everytime i look in the mirror i hate what i see. I hate letting my BF touch me. Have suffered with depression for years but right now i just feel like such a waste of space. I just dont know what to do...


    Sorry youre in this position I know its very tough and most people just dont get it. You have my sympathy. But you can get out of this and have a normal life. I know because I was in your place. I didnt even have a girlfriend(Im a man)to talk to so consider yourself fortunate for that much support, and no family to turn to either. But I still made it out so you can too. I started seeing a therapist which was great and I think this is what you really need to do. You'll need to work on yourself at the same time though because some people go to therapy thinking that the therapist will fix them. A therapist wont fix you, only you can do that, but a therapist will support you and give you somebody to talk to who wont judge you. And that in itself is massive and make a big difference. If you havent got much money this place is top class and will offer therapy for free or next to nothing(depending on your circumstances).

    http://www.dctc.ie


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you all for your replies, its great to know that im not the only one in my situation. After so many years of this pain i went to my doc this morning and he perscriped anti depressents. I dont want to go for councilling and that is why he recommended these tablets. He also said that i need to take myself out the situation that is making me feel like this and move on with my life.. I am lucky that i have a bf who is fantastic and supportive.

    Im hoping that in a couple of months i will be feeling better


  • #6
    *eadaoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 628 ✭✭✭*eadaoin


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Thank you all for your replies, its great to know that im not the only one in my situation. After so many years of this pain i went to my doc this morning and he perscriped anti depressents. I dont want to go for councilling and that is why he recommended these tablets. He also said that i need to take myself out the situation that is making me feel like this and move on with my life.. I am lucky that i have a bf who is fantastic and supportive.

    Im hoping that in a couple of months i will be feeling better

    hi OP, from being through depression & anxiety problems myself i understand where you are coming from and how difficult it can be to get things sorted.

    IMO just taking an antidepressant really wont solve the problem for you. basically if you really want things to be different it will take hard work and pro-activity on your part. a counsellor once said to me: if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got. what she meant was that if i wanted things to change i couldn't just continue living life the way i was and expect things to be different, if i wanted change to happen i had to do it myself! if you're still living life in a way that makes you unhappy and repeating old negative patterns then taking a pill every day is not going to make you any happier, that is just the opinion i have gathered from speaking to countless people who suffer with depression & anxiety who are on antidepressants & wonder why they're not working.

    don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that the drugs don't help, for some people they do, but i have NEVER spoken to someone who has had their problems solved by medication and i believe this is because while the meds help with brain chemistry they don't get to the root of the problem and leave the patient dependant on a source outside of themselves to make them happy when really they need empowerment and support.

    so basically, if you want things to be different you're going to have to do it yourself. this process will boost your confidence and empower you as you learn to make yourself happy. i've been through it and it's fantastic :)

    it really makes me sad for you that your doctor just put you on a pill without referring you to a counsellor or reccommending anything else you can do to help with depression. in reality there is SO much more that you can do to help yourself along the way. here are a couple of tips you might want to consider:

    get some exercise in every day - this promotes the production of hormones in your body that will naturally make you feel good.

    change your diet - if you're feeling fat and low in energy then change the way you eat to a healthier diet, proper nutrition will feed your body and mind and promote better mental health.

    do things that make you happy - this doesn't have to be expensive, just get out of the house, take your boyfriend, go look at the ducks in the park, take a walk by the sea, take a camera out and take pictures of great things, have all your friends over and watch comedies, learn to bake cookies, start writing, volunteer at an animal shelter, learn to play an instrument, get that new bus into the dublin mountains and have a picnic! - make a day for yourself each week where you allow yourself to indulge in you time and things that make you feel good :) it's ok to be nice to yourself! treat yourself as you would a friend who was feeling the same way.

    keep a journal - sometimes just writing out how you feel can be sooo helpful

    go to a counsellor - i know you say you don't want to and i don't know the reasons behind that, but i will tell you from my own experience that this is one of the BEST things that you can ever do for yourself! it's incredible to explore yourself in this way & very eye opening, it will help you to work through your depression rather than just hoping it will go away on it's own. if your body is sick you go to a doctor, you should treat your mental health in the same way.

    NLP - neurolinguistic programming is a type of counselling that will help you break through old patterns and replace them with new helpful ones. i went for a couple of sessions when things were at their worst and it is by far the most helpful thing that i did! i highly reccommend it!

    get out of the house & meet people - join a hobby group if you have one, or if you don't have a hobby then find one you like and join an interest group! this will distract you from low feelings & help boost your confidence by getting out into the world and experiencing things & hopefully along the way you'll meet new friends and learn new things.


    ok i think that's enough for now! basically what i'm saying is that you need to work at it if you want to feel better, there is lots that you can do but you need to be proactive in your own life :) i hope you feel better soon, feel free to PM if you want any information on counsellors that i went to see or ask your doctor to refer you :)


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