There is just no money

LegacyUser

This is really long, having just read over it some of it sounds ridiculous but I'm really at my wits end. I have no idea what to do about anything anymore.

I live at home with both parents and hoping I'll be going back to college in September, but I just don’t see where the money is going to come from.

My Mum makes about €30k a year, my Dad is self employed and makes between 2k and 4k a year. That's not a typo. For my first few years of college I tried applying for a grant but when it came to getting P60s and all the forms my Dad needed to include it was like trying to get blood from a stone. My Mum's embarrassed about our financial situation and refused to hand over any info point blank, said we'd just get by. We’ve always been heavily in debt even though the mortgage on the house was paid off year ago.

My mother’s a volatile person and has a problem with drinking. My Mum will come back from the shops with €40 of food and €60 of booze. This is the way it’s always been and the easiest way to protect myself and my Dad is to keep my head down. Hence why I never created a fuss over the grant.

Up until Christmas I had a part time job that I loved. Unfortunately the course I do is hard going, I’d easily spend about 60 hours a week between college and studying, then I used to work 16 hours on the weekend. This took it’s toll on my health, as I used to work through holiday’s as well I would go three or four months with maybe two or three days off.

I had to quit my job at Christmas because I more or less had a breakdown. I worked for a small family run business and I really busted my ass for that place. My college work suffered and I ended up in counselling. I had other health problems on top of that.

After I quit it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I still wasn't in great health, but I had money saved up and now I had weekends off to do my own thing. My work promised me I'd be welcome back in the summer so I took them at their word.

When I finished my exams work turned around and said that I wouldn't be needed after all. I've searched for jobs since but to no avail. The final kick in the teeth was I was chatting to somebody I used to work with and I asked just in passing how come I wasn't needed. Her answer was they "hired someone else who was very pretty"... Now I’m no Helen of Troy but I thought that was a little low… My job depended very heavily on how I looked so I suppose I could have seen that coming.

So now, despite my best efforts I have no job and I’m just doing odd jobs to keep me going. That’s why this year I put my foot down about getting a grant sorted. Unfortunately there was a hitch in that my mother inherited over €30,000 in 2008. I was told that information needs to be included when applying for the grant and that puts us well over the income limit for getting anything at all. That money is long gone though. It was spend on new windows for the house, a new roof and paying off my Dad’s bills. There is nothing left at all.

The windows and roof might sound a little extravagant but it was a necessity. Up until last Christmas I lived in a house that was built in the 30s, it has no central heating, single pane windows, two were cracked, one smashed entirely and boarded with cardboard. The roof tiles were so badly damaged there’d be puddles on the sitting room floor when it rained. Now we’ve fixed all that, there’s still no heating in the house but it’s liveable.

My mother sat me down today and said there just isn’t the money to pay for the €1500 registration fee this year. I have some saving’s left (<€1000) but I was going to use that for day to day expenses when I go back to college.

If anyone’s going to tell me to move out that’s not an option. My Dad has a long term illness that leaves him very weak and I’m terrified of my Mum getting drunk and lashing out at him. If I’m at home I can usually redirect her attention so if she hits out I can defend myself. I care deeply about both my parents and I’m not leaving them until they’re going through a better patch.

The_Conductor

Most colleges have hardship funds which can be used to support people who simply manage to slip between the cracks- and not qualify for registration fees/maintenance grants etc.

If you visit your college welfare officer he/she should hopefully be in a position to intercede with college authorities on your behalf re the registration fees which are the immediate concern- and thereafter about the possibility of some sort of a maintenance grant etc.

Your mother will have a P60 from her job- you normally get it every Feb/March from your employer. Its unfortunate that the inheritance in '08 has messed up your current application- but you are explaining your situation perfectly well here- you really need to talk to the college authorities and make a reasonable case to them- as you have done here.

S.

OP, as regards the reg fee, if you have the savings as backing, you could perhaps get a student loan to cover the fee and have a bit more on top to get by while you look for a job, an arranged student interest-free overdraft, that kind of thing? Banks USED to be (duno any more) very good with that kind of stuff.

Good luck

LegacyUser

First and most important thing is to work out exactly how much you need to make the registration fee. E.g., €640 on top of your savings. That is around for example 80 hrs at minimum wage, so 2-3 weeks over the summer if you can get a short term job. Look everywhere for it because the worst thing out of all this situation, and I have to say your story is pretty sad indeed and I hope it works out, is that you will forfeit your education and therefore a chance to improve your life.

Talk to the college regarding financial hardship support. Then arrange some work but not as much as what caused you to get so stressed compared to before to keep your life going during college. There is money out there, for your college fee and your life. All you have to do is track it down.

SarahMc

As others have said, registration fee is most urgent thing to focus on. Check to see if your local Partnership has a Millenium Fund. Also maybe contact local Vincent de Paul.

elbee

You could argue Change of Circumstances if that inheritance money is now gone. Basically if your circumstances have changed for the worse since December 2008, they will use the most up-to-date information they can. I don't know if that would work, but given that if your income in 2008 included overtime pay that won't recur this year, you can claim a change in circumstances, you may have a chance.

http://www.studentfinance.ie/mp9522/change-of-circumstances/index.html

Also do ask about your college's hardship fund. Best of luck, I hope things get better for you.

LegacyUser

OP I read read the first part of you post but it is possible to get the grant as an independent with no need for parents info. Not sure what the rules are but it's worth making a few phone call.

sunnyside

Do not be embarassed to ask for help. Print out your post here and take it to the welfare officer, the vincent de paul, as suggested above. I expect they would be happy to help you for a bit. The bank even to explain why you need a loan.

Everyone falls on hard times sometimes, look at the stories in the papers of property developers now living on €1000 a month.

The worst thing you could do is behave like your mother, do not be embarassed. What you require is short term help. In that case I highly recommend you ask for and take every little bit of help you can get. Later when you finish college and have a job you can help somebody else.

The suggestions made the others here are excellent BUT these people won't come knocking on your door offering help. You must approach them and ask.

lau1247

not trying to make situation worst..
I think you could possibly sit your mother down as she has done with you regarding fees..
Then tell her you think she has a drinking problem and that does she see herself that way..

Mention that you fear for her health in the long term..
Which would be true if this would be my mother..
Should anything happen to her (touch wood), you feel that you're unable to provide assistance..

This not only solve her drinking problem, it also allow her to save those money from not drinking..
As you didn't mention the frequency she buys the drink..
I'm gonna give the benefit of doubt and say once every fortnight..

That's 120 per month, by three months you'll roughly have what you'll need..

I wish you best of luck.