I'm a too serious person

LegacyUser

I have a very boring personality. Im quite serious and seldom laugh or joke. this is not intentional its just the way I am I cant help it. I wish I could be like others who are always laughing and finding thngs funny I just cant and its getting me down. Its embarrassing aswell as when I am in a group for example work, and somebody does something really funny and shows/ tells it to the rest of us everyone thinks it hillarios and roars laughing where as I dont see it as being funny and just pretend to laugh to fit in.
I always look sad and have done since I was at school, people very often say to me "whats wrong?" "are you ok?" , "cheer up" "smile" and this gets me down even more as at these times I may be really happy but just not showing it. A boss a few years ago told me I looked like I was carrying the weight of the world around on my shoulders most of the time.
I hate going to comedies in the cinema as the people Im with cant stop laughing and im sitting there not seeing anything funny pretending to laugh,its pathetic.
It gets me down as sometimes I really do enjoy a good laugh and a joke, theres one particlar person I know who is so funny I love seeing them and they really make me laugh but nobody else has this effect.
I wish I was a more passionate person, like if im looking at a match at home the others will be roaring for ireland/team whereas i'll stay quite and wont let go. Maybe im afriad to let myself go a bit and show passion I dont know. I dont show much excitement or jump around, dance or mess about like others im slow moving.
As a result of all this I feel people dont take to me very well and I find it impossible to make and keep friends. I worry all the time and it shows in my face. I wish I was more confident, approachable looking, pasionate, energetic and lively and then I think I would definately have more friends, get more invites etc.
What I am afraid of now is that even if I did start to change ( which I really must do if I am to get the most from my life) then people would think it was an act and would wonder why im being different. like if i suddenly start telling jokes, doing pranks, taking the piss out of situations, cracking jokes and making funny remarks then people will wonder where the serious person I w=once was went to and it will appear fake and false.

So my question is how do I change because I really want to badly.

LegacyUser

i am exactly the same. i have certain friends who make me laugh but on my own, i just can't see funny things in situations. i used to worry about it and feet self concious esp in group situations but that is a waste of time. you can't change yourself suddenly. just be yourself. i surround myself with people that make me feel good and have stopped worrying that some people don't take to me immediately. we can't be friends with everyone. honestly i could have written your post.... i can be amusing, good fun with certain people etc...it just takes me ages to get to know someone before i can be that person. nowadays i have resigned myself to this fact and am a lot happier. just try to chill, relax and get on with things and remember people don't take half as much notice of you as you probably imagine

SpitfireIV

OP I can certainly sympatise with you on that one, I'm extremely similar to yourself! In fact it could almost have been me that wrote that post! :P I'm different personality wise to almost all my friends and the 'norms', with regards to hobbys, movies, social activities, music etc etc so trying to even hold a conversation is a major struggle, it can be a little off putting at times, but like the 1st replier said you just have to be yourself, deal with it and let people accept that its just the way you are.

Like the story about your boss, I once had a lecturer whom told me I had a poker face, that I show little or no emotion at all . But then a lot of my issues I guess are down to insecurities with regards to appearance/looks.

I know how you feel also about trying to change, it can be EXTREMELY difficult to try be a different person with people whom know you well, they'd think 'what the hell is wrong with him, he used to be sound, now he's a bit of nutcase!' :P. Perhaps get in with a group of people whom dont know you, do a course of such and just be a little more 'out there', remember that these people wont know you, so, cant judge the person that your old friends know, and what they dont know wont kill them, it'll be your secret!

herya

You don't need to change completely, it will be really fake if you're not outgoing or energetic by nature. A reserved, thoughtful person can also be a very attractive company if they are confident and interesting - the kind of person that a full room of people would shut their mouths in order to listen to. It's hard to "make" yourself energetic but you can make yourself more interesting if you find your own style and learn to present it in public.

Perhaps you simple have a different sense of humour, more wry or ironic? Do you appreciate more sophisticated humour? Are you an interesting person with some opinions even though you're not the roaring kind? Are you a good observer? Can you add anything to the conversation?

It would be a very bleak world if everywhere you turn people were laughing, roaring and telling jokes. Perhaps you should try and look for more suitable company? Maybe you're surrounded by a bunch of people you're not compatible with? Honestly from what you write they don't look too attractive to me, more like a pretty shallow "laugh for the sake of it" kind.

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

Just reading your post and i have to say thats pretty tough! do you have any close friends that you can confide in about how your feeling? maybe ask them to tell you how you come accross. Maybe you need to start accepting yourself more, instead of wishing you were like other people, that cant happen but you can learn to love yourself. Whats so bad about being a serious person? In these situations you describe like in work when someone is coming out with jokes or pranks or whatever is it you dont actually find the joke/person amusing or is it your just the type of person that dosn't really express emotions be that happy/sad ect...
Like if you go to see say Tommy Tiernan would you actually find the jokes/stories funny but just not laugh or are you sitting there going i just dont see what so funny about this?
I'm sure your a nice guy and helps people as much as the next guy, and if your not horrible or mean to people then im sure people dont have any problem with the fact your a bit serious ya know? maybe you could join a club with like minded people?
You dont have to change but maybe try smiling for the day people respond better to people who smile!

good luck!

Best of luck...