What to do???

LegacyUser

Short as I can!! Met a guy afew weeks ago, and we seem to hit it off..........its great!! Problem is he doesn't want to be exclusive..........He's just out of a long relationship .........so he wants to have fun now, not interested in "settling down".........and I cant blame him for that really. He loves his new found space and freedom. He has been completly up front with me...........

Question: Do I stick around and "come what may" or get out now and save getting hurt (but wonder "what if" forever!!)??

LegacyUser

You're going to end up wrecking his head and your own by basically lying to yourself if you stay.

He's been clear, upfront and honest, which is all comendable - he doesnt want a relationship, why in gods name do you think he'll 'change his mind'???? girls in particular are guilty of this self-deception (I'm a girl btw and have done the same)

if you stay, a few months down the line he'll end up annoyed at you and frustrated that you are looking for more, and you'll be hurt and angry at him for not giving more. if he says its for fun, he doesnt want a relationship with you, possibly with someone else he might, or maybe not. either way, leave

dudara

Polls are not permitted in Personal and Relationship Issues. Therefore it is now closed. You can, however, continue to respond to the thread.

dudara

LegacyUser

I started seeing a guy who at the beginning was up front and told me he wasn't really into relationships..however, we kept meeting up and kind fell into a "relationship" if you could really call it that, as he always kept me at arms length.

Almost two years on, I have finished it, as deep down I knew it was never gonna go anywhere and i've gotten my heart broken because of it. (no one to blame but myself)

My advice is steer clear, if you really like him now and get on really well, imagine down the track, it will be twice as hard to let go. IMO you are setting yourself up for alot of heartache.

Plenty of guys out there who do want a proper relationship. The thing with guys who say they don't want a relationship, is, if you are willing to make yourself available to them they will take advantage of this, as it's convienient for them, without having to make any real commitment to you. They get the best of both worlds!

LegacyUser

What ever happened to "its better to have loved and lost............."??

Everyone has got hurt at one point or another...........the people that we love are the people that hurt us the most!!?!

Life is too short to question every single movement..........go out, have fun.........you'll be a long time dead!! If it works out GREAT, if not.........pick your self up and move on, you'll be the better for it........at least you tried..............

LegacyUser

I actually was in the same situation, my BF was with his GF when we met, he didn't tell me he had a GF all that time, we got quite close, i told him i liked him and felt he did too...we slept together and then thought things would slip into place only to my horror he said that relationships were not good for him at that time.

it really hurt to have been treated that way and it seemed that he was being a complete jerk but looking back he wasn't and it was me that put myself in that position. I gave him his space and left it alone, and then in some strange way he came back and we are head over heels in love!
if he loves you,nothing will stop him coming back.

take a gamble!just don't get attached. plenty more fish in the sea!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

take a gamble!just don't get attached. plenty more fish in the sea!

If you think you can do this, then go for it. However I think it'll be hard not to get attached as you seem to really like him.