Need Advice On Men

blathnaid21

Hi Everyone,

Why is it that men don't do the talking thing that women like to do? Howcome men don't tell there women how they really feel in there hearts but r saying different out loud?
Why do men talk too much and don't listen and evn if they do listen, they don't say anything not a word and when u ask them they say they have nothing to say? what why is that because a woman would say something so why can't a man say something back to just answer you and not say they have nothing to say?

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

Silverfish

Well first off, I'd say you're attracted to the wrong type of man perhaps? I think you may need to look at that first.

It seems that this may be one specific man, because to be honest, I don't know a lot of men like the one described above.

lolli

Op, I think you are being a bit stereotypical there. It really depends on the person. I know lots of girls that don't like talking about their feelings. I know lots of men who are good at talking about their feelings. its all down to the individual person I think.

Perhaps you are going for the wrong type of man.

lynnmarie

You really need to change your opinions of men cos your just going to attract the bad ones with that attitude.. It's not all about gender, my bf always talks about his feelings regarding everything, wheras i'm the one who has to be forced into opening up.. And as for wanting a gay friend?. Whats that all about, seems like every single women wants a gay friend.. My best friend is gay and he gets fakes like that tryin to befriend him for all the wrong reasons the whole time!..

Otis Driftwood

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Why is it that men don't do the talking thing that women like to do? Howcome men don't tell there women how they really feel in there hearts but r saying different out loud?
Why do men talk too much and don't listen and evn if they do listen, they don't say anything not a word and when u ask them they say they have nothing to say? what why is that because a woman would say something so why can't a man say something back to just answer you and not say they have nothing to say?

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

No offence OP,but you seem a little bit muddled here.

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Why is it that men don't do the talking thing that women like to do? Howcome men don't tell there women how they really feel in there hearts but r saying different out loud?

What exactly is the talking thing that women like and men dont?
I presume you mean about their feelings etc.
Every bloke is different and speaking for myself,its takes a helluva lot of trust for me to totally open up to a partner.Its not something that happens over night.It comes as a relationship develops.If you arent getting that far into relationships then maybe you need to look at why that is.Are you telling blokes after a short period of time that you are in love with them or something?

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Why do men talk too much and don't listen and evn if they do listen, they don't say anything not a word and when u ask them they say they have nothing to say?what why is that because a woman would say something so why can't a man say something back to just answer you and not say they have nothing to say?

Im at a loss to figure out what you are on about here.

What it appears to be asking is When I tell a guy things I expect him to reciprocate but they arent,why is that?
Based on this assumption,it depends on what you are asking.If its something like - do you see us being together forever - then thats a pretty heavy thing to ask,if its something like - do you fancy going out for dinner tonight - then he is just being obtuse by not answering.

(The above is only guesswork based on your sketchy original post by the way)

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

As for this,why does he have to be gay?Do you not think a hetero bloke would be more in touch with how a hetero guy thinks?You appear to have the Sex in the City vision of what a gay man is.I know a couple of gay blokes and they are the antihesis of Hollywood gay.

My final assumption is that you have had a couple of relationships end in the recent past and you think that all men are closed books.As I said in the first part of my reply,it takes time to build up trust in someone else,particularly when it comes to personal feelings.
Maybe you are coming on too strong too soon,or as someone else said,maybe you are just going for the wrong kind of guy.

***the above is only guess work given the information that you have posted.I could be totally off the mark***

legend365

Maybe 'men' dont have anything GOOD to say in which case they say NOTHING.

I'd rather say nothing than upset or hurt someone. Maybe its because im a 'man' or maybe its just a characteristic of mine.

Nd i can listen...all night long

projectmayhem

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

I know 2 gay guys. You may as well not bother. They're just like women. They don't understand us hetero blokes

wylo

Women tend to talk to each other about their feelings, theyre more open about them anyway , the majority of men don't nearly as much unless they get caught up in a good , perhaps slightly drunken, heart to heart.

Often, men dont talk about their feelings to women because they might say something wrong that will then need to be elaborated on ,which digs an even bigger hole.

Men like to express their feelings through actions in general,(and no not sex), but through attention giving actions, through presents, through phone calls or stupid texts, through nice gestures and offering to help etc.

I think its unfair of people here to give out to the OP about generalizing, because at the end of the , with more than 50% of cases she is right. I really believe so.

The problem is, op, its a conundrum. Howcome men can accept that women love to talk about their feelings, but women cant accept that men DONT like to talk about their feelings.

What gives you the right to ask that question? Howcome we cant ask "Why do women like to talk about their feelings?"

You have to accept were different and we dont think the exact same way.

wylo

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

Also, I really think any gay guys reading this are LOLing as they read this part. Thats all they want, another fag hag to use them.

blathnaid21

wylo wrote: »

Also, I really think any gay guys reading this are LOLing as they read this part. Thats all they want, another fag hag to use them.

U don't even know me so u don't have the right to call me names like calling me a fag hag. u wouldn't like it if people called u names.

shellyboo

OP, you can't be going around saying "I want a gay friend because he'll understand men AND me!". That's ridiculously stereotypical, like saying "I want a black friend so I can use his gun and gang connections".

I think you sound a little immature. Not all men are like the man who hurt you - you just had bac luck this time, or the past few times, and picked the wrong guy or guys. Instread of blaming all men, you need to turn that critcism around and look at yourself. Nobody does anything to you unless you let them - so examine your own behaviour and ask yourself why you went for a guy who doesn't listen, why you were with someone who wasn't meeting your needs, why you put up with it.

And next time, watch out for those same bad attributes that didn't work for you, and be more careful. Every failed relationship is a learning experience. It's not all the men's fault, we have a part to play too.

Fink Goddie

Dont go for bad boys
There's plenty of nice guys who will share their feelings.

Oh and dont mind people on their high horse calling you immature!!!

LegacyUser

blathnaid21 wrote: »

U don't even know me so u don't have the right to call me names like calling me a fag hag. u wouldn't like it if people called u names.

Relax, he wasnt personally insulting you personally. Fag hag is just a generic name for women who hang out with gay blokes.

(fag hag 
Use fag hag in a Sentence
–noun Slang: A heterosexual female who seeks out or particularly enjoys the company of male homosexuals)


Id have to second the comment questioning why you would try to use a gay man to gain insight into the mindset of a straight guy. That'd be a strange thing to do.

Why are you trying to GET a person(man or woman) to talk about their feelings? If somebody isnt talking then thats the way they are, you cant change them, theyd have to want to change themselves. If you like to talk about your feelings thats you and your thing, you cant expect others to be like you. The question you really should be asking is : Why do I feel the need to control others?

PK2008

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Why is it that men don't do the talking thing that women like to do? Howcome men don't tell there women how they really feel in there hearts but r saying different out loud?
Why do men talk too much and don't listen and evn if they do listen, they don't say anything not a word and when u ask them they say they have nothing to say? what why is that because a woman would say something so why can't a man say something back to just answer you and not say they have nothing to say?

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

How come women ask so many questions all the time?

Just one of lifes mysteries

wylo

PK2008 wrote: »

How come women ask so many questions all the time?

Just one of lifes mysteries

exactly

adm

projectmayhem wrote: »

I know 2 gay guys. You may as well not bother. They're just like women. They don't understand us hetero blokes

Even if you're joking - Go fook yerself....

The Recliner

adm wrote: »

Even if you're joking - Go fook yerself....

adm if you have a problem with a post then report it

moe_sizlak

women in general dont find touchy feely men who talk about thier feelings , attractive , they only pretend they do

lolli

moe_sizlak wrote: »

women in general dont find touchy feely men who talk about thier feelings , attractive , they only pretend they do

Ha, yeah I some what agree, it tends to be Oh my god my boyfriend won't talk about his feelings to me.... or..... Oh my god, my boyfriend never stops talking about himself, he doesnt know how I feel or he doesnt care about MY feelings

In fairness though my boyfriend has to drag my feelings out of me sometimes. Its really down to the individual

LegacyUser

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Why is it that men don't do the talking thing that women like to do? Howcome men don't tell there women how they really feel in there hearts but r saying different out loud?
Why do men talk too much and don't listen and evn if they do listen, they don't say anything not a word and when u ask them they say they have nothing to say? what why is that because a woman would say something so why can't a man say something back to just answer you and not say they have nothing to say?

Also i'm looking for a gay guy to be friends with to ask men questions to.

In my experiences, this generally ends up freaking the women out. They claim that this is what they want and need, but when you become that person, they can't handle it. I for one am moving in the opposite direction, and and trying not to be so...talking and emotional in the future. Of course these are my experiences, and everyone and situation is different, however the last two women I saw who wanted this have ensured that next time I'll be keeping my mouth shut

finbarrk

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Why is it that men don't do the talking thing that women like to do? Howcome men don't tell there women how they really feel in there hearts but r saying different out loud?
Why do men talk too much and don't listen and evn if they do listen, they don't say anything not a word and when u ask them they say they have nothing to say? what why is that because a woman would say something so why can't a man say something back to just answer you and not say they have nothing to say?

I think this is a classic 'he's just not that into you' situation.