The garden shed, Temple of Manliness?

Nevyn

This topic sprung up this lunch time so I am seeking the wisdom of the Brethren.

Is the shed a Temple of Manliness?
More then a mere place to store the lawnmower and poor tools?
More then a place where you will usually find a screw, even if it's not exactly the one you want?

I am only after all a mere wimins and can't quiet get my head around this one...

Tom Dunne

A shed to a man can be his getaway from the world. A cavern full of bounty, containing items such as his toolbox, golf clubs and lawnmower. A retreat from the everyday hustle and bustle of the Real World, a lair smelling of dry grass, creosote and BO.

However, there is another contender for the title, Temple of Manliness and it has to be said, is the favoured option in my book. That contender is of course, the garage.

The shed is a temporary structure, confined in size by the limits of its wooden structure and is susceptible to the elements. A garage, however, is built from solid brick, has a proper roof, and in some cases, can even fit in the car.

There is almost no end to the amount of manly stuff that can be stored in a garage - golf clubs, lawnmower, toolbox, beer fridge, Harley-Davidson, half-full paint tins and even pieces of the engine that for some reason left over when you decided to dismantle it.

Oh, and it can fit a hammock too.

Sparks

While I would never seek to blaspheme against the beliefs of my brethern of the Sacred Garage, and while I hold true to the tenents of their temple and believe that indeed the Garage is a temple unto manhood, two theological points must be made. Firstly, not all sheds are created equal. Some are indeed flimsy and not worthy of much adoration, yet woe betide he who judges all sheds by the standards of the lowliest wooden temple, for he has not yet seen the magnificent heights that the shed can attain:



Secondly, the shed's got a garden between itself and She Who Must Be Obeyed, while usually the garage opens onto the kitchen...

Nevyn

Hmmmm what about the garage/shed combo?

Along the style of that seen in the movie "Gran Torino", which has to be a lifes' work of collecting the right tools for every job, each with it's own place, bringing a sense of order to the world.

smashey

The garden shed is one of the last bastions of manliness left in the world.

My garden shed is my space for stuff I want to put in it. I have the only key to it and 'er indoors knows not to even think of asking to enter it.

The Recliner

Thaedydal wrote: »

Hmmmm what about the garage/shed combo?

Along the style of that seen in the movie "Gran Torino", which has to be a lifes' work of collecting the right tools for every job, each with it's own place, bringing a sense of order to the world.

That is not disimilar to my Dad's shed except Dad's is a whole lot bigger, it is mamoth, must get pics next time I am home
(in fairness Dad uses it for business as well but if you are looking for something obscure and useful then it is the place to find it)

*edit: actually that could easily be my Dad in that pic but there aren't too many Hmong kids in Mayo and Clint is taller

Sparks

Indeed, doth this not show that there can be both harmony and brotherhood between the two churches in the common crusade in the name of manhood? For is not the true heretic the gimp who's trying to fix a fence by hammering a #6 woodscrew with a club hammer? And can we not all agree upon the most holy incantation of "you're doing it wrong"?

Nevyn

Despite not living with my parents for the last 14 years, I still know where things are in my father's shed. My mther can never make heads nor tails of what to her seems to be choas and clutter but yet I can still stand in it and after a moment or two put my hand to what is needed. I guess it's an inner bloke thing.

Tom Dunne

Sparks wrote: »

Indeed, doth this not show that there can be both harmony and brotherhood between the two churches in the common crusade in the name of manhood?

Indeed it does. Perhaps the garage can be the Winter Residence and the shed the Summer Residence?

Sparks wrote: »

For is not the true heretic the gimp who's trying to fix a fence by hammering a #6 woodscrew with a club hammer?

Spoken like a true Brother.

az2wp0sye65487

Pimpey wrote: »

That is not disimilar to my Dad's shed except Dad's is a whole lot bigger, it is mamoth, must get pics next time I am home
(in fairness Dad uses it for business as well but if you are looking for something obscure and useful then it is the place to find it)

*edit: actually that could easily be my Dad in that pic but there aren't too many hispanic kids in Mayo and Clint is taller

Sorry to go O/T but that young fella with Clint in the pic is Hmong, not Hispanic...

The Recliner

Xavier Wrong Stereo wrote: »

Sorry to go O/T but that young fella with Clint in the pic is Hmong, not Hispanic...

Apologies, haven't actually seen that movie yet and made an assumption and you know how the saying goes

Thanks for the info, post edited

ntlbell

I thought it was just a placeholder until you filled it with a pool table dart board and gunnies pipes

wtf do you be doing in your shed?

Tom Dunne

ntlbell wrote: »

wtf do you be doing in your shed?

What is wrong with you?

In the shed you can:

• fix stuff
• break stuff
• stir stuff
• clean stuff
• dirty stuff
• mix stuff
• plan stuff

And most importantly of all:

• get away from stuff

ntlbell

Tom Dunne wrote: »

What is wrong with you?

In the shed you can:

• fix stuff
• break stuff
• stir stuff
• clean stuff
• dirty stuff
• mix stuff
• plan stuff

And most importantly of all:

• get away from stuff

I sit back in mine with a cold one.

She can clean stuff and make me a BLT.

the rest sounds like too much work.

Nevyn

I know the B is Bacon but what is the L and T?

Sparks

Lingerie and Tsing Tao

aero2k

Hi OP,

Slightly OT but entertaining, this link tells the tale of how a man can easily get carried away with all the stuff lying around his shed...enjoy!
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/

Nevyn

Tom Dunne wrote: »

What is wrong with you?

In the shed you can:

• fix stuff
• break stuff
• stir stuff
• clean stuff
• dirty stuff
• mix stuff
• plan stuff

And most importantly of all:

• get away from stuff

also I do believe known as "pottering" which is in it's self confusing.

Poor Uncle Tom

Tom Dunne wrote: »

A shed to a man can be his getaway from the world. A cavern full of bounty, containing items such as his toolbox, golf clubs and lawnmower. A retreat from the everyday hustle and bustle of the Real World, a lair smelling of dry grass, creosote and BO.

However, there is another contender for the title, Temple of Manliness and it has to be said, is the favoured option in my book. That contender is of course, the garage.

The shed is a temporary structure, confined in size by the limits of its wooden structure and is susceptible to the elements. A garage, however, is built from solid brick, has a proper roof, and in some cases, can even fit in the car.

There is almost no end to the amount of manly stuff that can be stored in a garage - golf clubs, lawnmower, toolbox, beer fridge, Harley-Davidson, half-full paint tins and even pieces of the engine that for some reason left over when you decided to dismantle it.

Oh, and it can fit a hammock too.

Please don't forget the Stove.

P.C.

My father has a garage that can and does fit three cars in it, as well as a 10m long work bench.

The work bench is littered with all sorts of tools and stuff, and underneath the work bench there are yellow wood planks which are about 6 inches thick.
A few years ago a yellow wood coffee table emerged from under the work bench.

He had to get a new garage built at the beach house, as he bought my mother a car that drives on the beach.
So, now the old garage is just full of stuff.

Does he ever use the garage for manly stuff?

Yes, he parks his car there.

OldGoat

Sheds are manly.
I have TWO sheds.
The obvious concluesion is I am ManlyManly :cool:

juke

OldGoat wrote: »

Sheds are manly.
I have TWO sheds.
The obvious concluesion is I am ManlyManly :cool:

that's not what you said in the bar!

OldGoat

juke wrote: »

that's not what you said in the bar!

In the work enviroment I now sing castrato
but back in my castle where I have my two sheds and I am ManleyManley again. :cool:

Seraphicblue

wait, what about teh pr0n?
is not the shed also the place to keep that?

Slow Motion

OldGoat wrote: »

Sheds are manly.
I have TWO sheds.
The obvious concluesion is I am ManlyManly :cool:

Careful they don't cancel each other out!

Seraphicblue wrote: »

wait, what about teh pr0n?
is not the shed also the place to keep that?

*Jedi Wave*
"This is not the porn you are looking for!"
"There is no porn!*
*Jedi Wave*

The Recliner

Isn't there a Boardsie called Twoshedsjackson, he must be real manly

Nevyn

gods rule 34, I am actually afaird to google 'shed pron'

Blitzkrieger

At first I thought Tom had hit the nail on the head (no doubt a nail he got from his shed with a hammer also obtained from the shed) in the first reply but then I saw this post :

Sparks wrote: »

Secondly, the shed's got a garden between itself and She Who Must Be

It suggests that a brothers house isn't manly enough! Why would a brother want to be cast out to a grubby little garden shed - surely any thing that can be acomplished in the shed can be acomplished in a more civilised manner indoors? Not that I want my house smelling of dry grass, creosote and BO.....

Unless of course, the old BGRH adage of size is everything is observed. Any shed that is sufficiently large and holds at least one bench vice can be reclassified as a workshop.

Even though I don't have a garden I should get myself a shed workshop. I've got parts for 4 different cars and 2 different motorbikes in my bedroom, the hall cupboard, under the stairs, etc. What I'm doing with parts for other people's cars I don't know...

Sparks

Blitz, it sounds as though thou art in that state of grace where thy SheWhoMustBeObeyed is not a pathological tidyier. Sadly, the great schism between the bretheren of the Shed (and their brothers in the bretheren of the Garage) and the SWMBO sisterhood is often said to be defined in the sacrament of tidying; for is it not said in Scripture that that which is tidied by Woman can never be found when you want to Put Your Hand To It; whilst that which is tidied by Man invariably leads to misunderstanding of the System by Woman, who holds the heretical belief that the system Looks Like A Bomb Hit It?

Slow Motion

Sparks wrote: »

Blitz, it sounds as though thou art in that state of grace where thy SheWhoMustBeObeyed is not a pathological tidyier. Sadly, the great schism between the bretheren of the Shed (and their brothers in the bretheren of the Garage) and the SWMBO sisterhood is often said to be defined in the sacrament of tidying; for is it not said in Scripture that that which is tidied by Woman can never be found when you want to Put Your Hand To It; whilst that which is tidied by Man invariably leads to misunderstanding of the System by Woman, who holds the heretical belief that the system Looks Like A Bomb Hit It?

A very Pratchettesque way of looking at it, I like!

The Recliner

Sparks wrote: »

Blitz, it sounds as though thou art in that state of grace where thy SheWhoMustBeObeyed is not a pathological tidyier. Sadly, the great schism between the bretheren of the Shed (and their brothers in the bretheren of the Garage) and the SWMBO sisterhood is often said to be defined in the sacrament of tidying; for is it not said in Scripture that that which is tidied by Woman can never be found when you want to Put Your Hand To It; whilst that which is tidied by Man invariably leads to misunderstanding of the System by Woman, who holds the heretical belief that the system Looks Like A Bomb Hit It?

Never a truer word spoken

The highlighted bit really hits home with me

OldGoat

Sparks wrote: »

Blitz, it sounds as though thou art in that state of grace where thy SheWhoMustBeObeyed is not a pathological tidyier. Sadly, the great schism between the bretheren of the Shed (and their brothers in the bretheren of the Garage) and the SWMBO sisterhood is often said to be defined in the sacrament of tidying; for is it not said in Scripture that that which is tidied by Woman can never be found when you want to Put Your Hand To It; whilst that which is tidied by Man invariably leads to misunderstanding of the System by Woman, who holds the heretical belief that the system Looks Like A Bomb Hit It?

This highlights why SWMBO is never ever allowed into the shed. The moment she puts foot into the shed then the Shed becomes a Should.
"That should go there and this should go over there" sez she as she wreaks havoc in what was yore shed, rearranging hiding and losing things of importance.

Húrin

Sparks wrote: »

Some are indeed flimsy and not worthy of much adoration, yet woe betide he who judges all sheds by the standards of the lowliest wooden temple, for he has not yet seen the magnificent heights that the shed can attain:

That shed is feminine. Glass ffs.

Sparks

Not feminine. Finnish. And I know, it's not the holiest of holies, but it is what a brother of the Shed needs in order to store his tools and workbench while he constructs the cathedral that is the home-made shed...

punchdrunk

Gentlemen...may i enter into the Holiest of Holy's another worthy contender for Temple of Manliness....

the Humble darkroom!



it has several merits....

1) under no circumstances can anyone enter when the red light is on!
this is a humble method of keeping the wimmin's out otherwise they risk destroying that confo photo of little billy,perfect for your hours spent looking at ex birds on facebook...

2)it has a manly chemical stench
this will also scare away women/childer etc...

3)if you stop off on the way home from work and get some instant prints done,you can then spend the whole following day "printing" i.e reading the paper/scratching yourself etc! and she'll never know...

4) when you emerge from your lair with said prints of the childer the hours you have spent "working away" will not be held against you (in the same manner as fixing a car will) by the wifey, infact she'll probably make Dinner...

The Recliner

Behold the Temple of Manliness that is my Dad's shed



Ignore the mountain of crap my Mum has put around it to hide it

Inside it is an aladdin's cave of stuff

trout

While it is an impressive ediface, I fear it cannot be recognised as a shed, garden or otherwise, without some clarification.

There is a lot of flowers about it, it has an alarm box ... and it does look rather like an aircraft hanger.

The interior shot is somewhat reassuring, though the light is decidedly industrial, and there are rather more soft furnishings and clothes horses for my tastes. The power tools bolted to the bench are impressive, in fairness.

I do like the petrol canister balanced casually at the end of the shelf. Said shelf is about 5 degrees off true, which is tolerable.

I must ask ... where is the comfy chair and the stereo ?

:cool:







Yes ...I am a jealous ... I'd love a great big shed like that

Latchy

That's not a shed ,it's a frigging warehouse

looks like one from outside but probably much smaller inside



would love junk storage space like that

OldGoat

Also noted the alarm.
Also noted the much needed bench grind stone.
Am attempting to note the exact location of said shed (barn).

Not impressed with prescence of an exercise machine or by the attempt to hide it by disguising it as a glove stand. One wonders if in fact this came out of the son's bedroom?
'fess up Recliner, is that yore exercising machine?

trout

OldGoat wrote: »

Not impressed with prescence of an exercise machine or by the attempt to hide it by disguising it as a glove stand.

Hmmm ... you seem to know a lot about exercise machines ... don't you :cool:

OldGoat wrote: »

... 'fess up Recliner, is that yore exercising machine?

Ooh! *reaches for popcorn*

OldGoat

trout wrote: »

Hmmm ... you seem to know a lot about exercise machines ... don't you :cool:

I got hornswoggled by a deceitful wimminz who got me into one of those machines by telling me that the contraption was actually a jetpack prototype and I was needed to help with the re-design. :mad:

The Recliner

trout wrote: »

While it is an impressive ediface, I fear it cannot be recognised as a shed, garden or otherwise, without some clarification.

There is a lot of flowers about it, it has an alarm box ... and it does look rather like an aircraft hanger.

The flowers are outside of the shed, sadly the wimmins (or Mum as I call her) have dominion here

The interior shot is somewhat reassuring, though the light is decidedly industrial,

That is actually a window, for a brief moment today the sun made a rare appearence in the West while I was taking the photo

I must ask ... where is the comfy chair and the stereo ?

:cool:

I have only shown about a third of the interior, the stereo and the chair are on the other side of the shed

Latchy wrote: »

That's not a shed ,it's a frigging warehouse

looks like one from outside but probably much smaller inside

Nope it is frigging huge

OldGoat wrote: »

Not impressed with prescence of an exercise machine or by the attempt to hide it by disguising it as a glove stand. One wonders if in fact this came out of the son's bedroom?
'fess up Recliner, is that yore exercising machine?

If it was mine do you not think I would have made some attempt to hide it before taking the photo, I wouldn't know what to do with something like that, too many arms and legs on it for it to be trustworthy

Poor Uncle Tom

Nice shed Mr. Recliner,
However some concerns:
too new,
too bright,
not enough sharp, rusty, spikey things hanging from the roof,
no sign of wildlife,
no sign of smoke or fire,
The straw hat is not torn or has no holes,

so thats where my hayseed barrow got to.....:D

Half-cocked

The Recliner wrote: »

If it was mine do you not think I would have made some attempt to hide it before taking the photo

You did. You stuck a glove over one of the sticky up bits to make it look like half a scarecrow or something:D

punchdrunk

For me the essence of a shed should be that
some large,heavy engine parts/petrol mower or similar
should require removal from the shed to gain entry,
at the very least it should involve the climbing
over some large planks etc


a shed were you can just walk in is,in my opinion
not a deterent enough for the wimnins.