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The next step? Is it that serious?

  • 28-07-2009 11:23AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    So here goes…
    2 yrs ago broke up with ex.. (5yrs living 2gether, leaves me for some1 else, sooo much more 2d story obv) we dnt talk h8s me..
    Since then, have been sad,.used to have loads of motivation to head out, meet partners etc..
    So any potentials I have met,it has ended badly leaving me feeling like complete sh!t….it takes me ages to get over things!Obv!
    Also bad childhood, parents dead but close to aunt & brother ..like a mother but she has an addiction.. most of my mates off traveling so lonely and bored most evenings…my motivation to do anything has totally gone the last few months..
    Went to couselling but now she wants to put me on anti-depressants..scared as is my prob that bad? And maybe I could get addicted?? Im in mid-20s
    I function well in ordinary life,, no one would guess it really..
    Advice greatly appreciated… thanks in advance


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 768 ✭✭✭claiva


    hi op,
    I know this is stating the obvious but sometimes that is the best way to drag yourself out of the dark cloud you are under at the moment.

    Take up guitar lessons, or singing lessons or join a drama group or a tag rugby team.
    Anything really to get you out 2/3 times a week, meeting completely new people...some of which will be joining up for the same reason as you.

    You need to move on and start afresh. make new friends and get new interests.

    good luck ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    In my early twenties I ended up depressed and I just couldn't dig myself out of that hole of zero motivation, no interest in life, too hard on myself etc. A course of mild anti-biotics for 9 months really really helped me. I was determined not to use them as a long term solution so when I began to feel better after about 6 months I just started to take them less and less, like every second day instead of every day. Don't stop taking them suddenly though and do give them a few months to work. Follow the advice of your GP or counsellor.

    Contrary to popular belief they are nothing like "happy pills"- you will not be bouncing off the walls and get addicted to them- from my personal experience I found them to just give me that little bit of motivation and interest in life again that had disappeared on me. I then started to get out more and really enjoy things in life more and then it became a sort of positive self-fulfilling prophecy where the more things I did and took part in, the more those things made me happy and the less I need anti-depressants.

    I hope this helps. Don't be afraid to get the help you need and try not to see anti-depressants as some kind of crazy pills for people in psych units.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, OP here..

    Thanks so much for the advice.. I know doing dif things could help... I always seem to be waitin for things to get better, like if I do this, if I do that etc(3 Jobs in the last yr alone!)
    so I think I may look into pills... I suppose I did have an image of them being happy pills! lol!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    Hi there OP. Fist off, depression is something that affects a hell of a lot more than you'd think. There are a couple of things that you need right now...first off perspective is one of them. Take a closer look at your life. Are you pretty? Generally, do you have your health? There are thousands out there that are in worse of situations...so cliched as it is...maybe you can start to look on a bright side. Secondly, something has to change in your life. Baby steps...start to go to the cinema, even if it's on your own. Talk to a stranger, embrace life as if it could end at any minute, become a better person, and a better life won't be far away.

    Sometimes when we're in the dark we think that just turning on the light is easier said than done...but you know, sometimes it's just a matter of...turning on the light.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Tell your GP or cousellor the reasons you have reservations about anit-depressants and they can take this into account when prescribing the type of drug and the dosage.

    This stuff is all so psychological so if you do decide to take medication just embrace it and see it as a temporary/ medium term healthy helping hand but at the same time don't expect a little pill to kick you off your bum and push you out the door into doing all the great things life offers: you still have lots of work to do yourself!! I hope you feel better soon, don't despair because there really is always something good to get out of bed for each morning- you just won't know about it until you get out of bed and find out


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    I know wrote: »
    Tell your GP or cousellor the reasons you have reservations about anit-depressants and they can take this into account when prescribing the type of drug and the dosage.

    This stuff is all so psychological so if you do decide to take medication just embrace it and see it as a temporary/ medium term healthy helping hand but at the same time don't expect a little pill to kick you off your bum and push you out the door into doing all the great things life offers: you still have lots of work to do yourself!! I hope you feel better soon, don't despair because there really is always something good to get out of bed for each morning- you just won't know about it until you get out of bed and find out

    +1
    Another way to look at them is that your brain needs a hand to rewire itself. That is all these do.
    Do speak about your concerns and fears though esp with your Aunt's history - let them know about that as well.
    Also listen to the advice above about getting some new interests - you would be surprised at how something small one day a week can give you something to look forward to - even if it is just a walk or a run in the park.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi there OP. Fist off, depression is something that affects a hell of a lot more than you'd think. There are a couple of things that you need right now...first off perspective is one of them. Take a closer look at your life. Are you pretty? Generally, do you have your health? There are thousands out there that are in worse of situations...so cliched as it is...maybe you can start to look on a bright side. Secondly, something has to change in your life. Baby steps...start to go to the cinema, even if it's on your own. Talk to a stranger, embrace life as if it could end at any minute, become a better person, and a better life won't be far away.

    Sometimes when we're in the dark we think that just turning on the light is easier said than done...but you know, sometimes it's just a matter of...turning on the light.

    Hi
    OP here... i dont know how going to the cinema on my own would help?!
    I used to live on my own and moved out then in the hope that I would meet new ppl,,but it didnt really work out..
    Alot of ppl say do new things but what??! Im part of the whole, drinking is my only outdoor pursuit!!
    Thanks again guys


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Hi
    OP here... i dont know how going to the cinema on my own would help?!
    I used to live on my own and moved out then in the hope that I would meet new ppl,,but it didnt really work out..
    Alot of ppl say do new things but what??! Im part of the whole, drinking is my only outdoor pursuit!!
    Thanks again guys

    Hi OP.
    I have personally tried the following - all are great
    Sea kayaking - there are huge numbers around Dublin doing this - but can be dependent on the weather. Great to escape the city and have a good chat.
    Running - find some neighbours / work mates who run and see if you can join them. Even if you run on your own the high is sometimes worth it. There are also huge numbers running in the parks at the weekend.

    You could also try
    Orienteering.
    Sport - eg cycling; mtb'ing; etc

    Maybe try a few different things - many groups have beginner / introductory days - so it is a good way to get into the activity. Just open your horizon - ie try something you would never normally consider...


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