What is my problem

LegacyUser

Hey folks, going unreg for this one basically cos I need to get a lot off my chest.

I am a 24 year old guy and I know I have a lot of issues. Since I was 18, I had been going out with a girl who was perfect in every way. She was smart, really pretty and she loved me. We went out up until I was 23 and during my whole time at university. I was really happy with how things were until I left university and it became apparent that I didnt want to be a relationship anymore. I treated her badly in the end up and broke her out, something I am not proud of. In the end I realised that we were two completly different people and it was a miracle we had lasted so long together. Not painting her in a bad light but she was very high maintenance and I was very laid back almost to the point where it annoyed her hugely.

So this past year has been a complete blur. I have been making up for lost time during uni which I felt I had wasted by being in a relationship. I have been sleeping around a lot and taking a serious amount of drink. There is a group of fellas that I knock around with, all my best friends and we are all the same. Young single men having a good time. Except my problem is this, I actually want a girlfriend now. There is no chance of me and the ex getting back, she wants to but I know in my heart its never going to be the right thing. Over this past year I have got close to 3 different girls and managed to mess things up. This was due to a number of things - falling too easy for the girls, my sleeping around and taking too much drink. The most recent one more or less ended this week when the girl told me she didnt want anything serious (which usually means they dont want anything serious with you!). I have no problem attracting girls, I actually have a bit of a name for being a womaniser, I just cant seem to either hold onto one or attract the right one. Maybe its that I do come across too strong.

I dont really know what I want here, I suppose it was just to get things off my chest. But any advice would be greatly appreciated.

unhappycamper

hI oP,




Your x was a high maintenance girl so completely and utterly put her in the past from now on unless she is clinging on?

As for the current situation I do feel you OP. The drinking and womanising is a very natural thing for men to do when in college or growing up, it's called sowing your wild oats. Don’t feel for a second that you shouldn't be having sex with random girls, as long as you were protection that is, your young handsome and single for Gods sake.

If you want to have a nice loving relationship then you need to show whichever girl you like that you are making an effort for her. Is there a certain girl you like? If there is then great but if not then maybe you are not meant to be in a relationship right now.

Clean your image up a wee bit and clean your tongues if speaking to her, woman do not find foul language attractive. Ask her can you do something for her or has she been out for a walk or a movie recently in other woods get spotting and get talking. Just be yourself because if you don't you might end up like your last relationship.

lala stone

maybe u should get urself together before you start looking for a gf...all the drinking going out etc is what everyone does when they break up and probably now your just sick of doing that and u wanna move on!
also maybe all the drinking and scoring randoms is making u feel like crap??

shanty_boi

What's up OP?

I am in a similar sort of position to you and this past while I have been thinking quite a bit about things. Maybe you are coming across too strong. I generally find that women like men that are aloof, maybe thats a generalisation? So stand off a wee bit more. If you feel the temptation to ring her or text her, remind yourself what has happened before.