Why am I being treated like this?

LegacyUser

My best friend recently got dumped by her boyfriend of 5 years which has obviously affected her deeply, but ever since she has been single she has become very demanding. I feel that if i dont do something she wants me to do- she wont talk to me for afew days and then tell me im a bad friend and am never there for her.

For example- i couldnt go out last weekend as i had no money although i told her afew weeks ago i probably could go out. Im unemployed and she works full time, so although i said i could go out, it all depends on how much money i have spent that week. Anyway- i didnt go out with her the night she wanted me to because of money and shes now not talking to me again. Ive called her afew times, but have gotten no answer so ive decided to ignore her. I feel like if i dont do what she wants, i get given out to and feel like shes punishing me because she didnt get her own way...Any advice as to how to deal with this? We're both 25 btw...sounds very childish i know, im just feeling abit down about all of this.

mood

Sounds like that is the reason she got dumped. Tell her to cop on. It's not your fault you out of work and anyway we can't always keep promises. People are entitled to change there mind. She sounds very pity.

LegacyUser

Ok, I totally see your point.

But she had probably spent the entire week looking forward to the night out so I see her point too.

However sulking isn't cool. She needs to address problems like an adult. And you need to try harder to keep arrangements. Mates of mine have not talked to me for months for not keeping arrangements. Likewise I've been left really frustrated when my mates have let me down at the last minute.

Have a good chat. And she or both of you should also try bringin some new mates into the situation so you're not so dependent on each other.

LegacyUser

Can I ask if she was always there for you during the five years she was with her boyfriend e.g. if you were at a loose end & needed somebody to go out with? I would hazard a guess & say no. Therefore she cant suddenly expect you to be always available now that she is single again. She is going through a rough time and was probably looking forward to the night out, however she must understand that you cant always be available, especially if money is tight.

LegacyUser

Op here- Yeah youre right, when she was with her boyfriend she used to do what she wanted. If she couldnt come out or didnt feel like it- she wouldnt.I have always been the single friend untill recently but i always accepted it when she bailed on plans, maybe im just a pushover. Of course i would have sorted something out if it meant she wouldnt have anyone to go out with that night, but the funny thing is there were other girls going out with her, so me not going didnt ruin her plans in the slightest.

Also, i duno if i mentioned im with someone fairly new and its going great, our other friends are all in relationships and they can pick and choose when to come out and when to stay in with their OH. But for me its completly different and i keep getting the silent treatment off her if i decide to stay in with my boyf. I read in another thread that if i ignore her for afew days and she doesnt come back to sort things out, then maybe shes not a real friend at all...Im the one that tried to get in contact with her all weekend, so why should i bother doing anything more?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Also, i duno if i mentioned im with someone fairly new and its going great

She's jealous of you! You're happy in a new relationship after being single for years & she is in the opposite situation. I think you should contact her one last time to let her know that you still want to be her friend but that you are going to leave it up to her to contact you when she is ready. You cant do more than that.

LegacyUser

Does that not make me look like a walkover by contacting her again? I didnt do anything wrong so why do i have to do the chasing? This is something i will never understand about girls.