Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Self Destruct

  • 27-07-2009 6:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    33, Single, broke up with ex 4 years ago, never really recovered. Have been on the road to Self destructing for at least 8 years, coming to a head now.

    binge drink maybe every 2nd weekend, not always but i've had a few one night stands.
    here is my problem, i dont know why i have them as i feel so ashamed & disgusted with myself after it. I think its the need to feel i am wanted or ever noticed. or just sex.
    but I would not do this when sober.

    I have tried serveral times to give up alcohol and end up failing, which makes me feel even more useless, and an even bigger failure. I cant face going out afterward and I cant look people in the eye. I feel I have let myself down.

    In fact I think people do like me, but not the oppsite sex and only for one thing if they do notice me. I keep myself to myself most of the time. and no one knows how much pain I have inflicted on myself. Simple answer is Yes give up drink. & I have tried i have failed. I feel so trapped. But will try again. Just so ashamed I never thought I'd end up like this. and feel so lost & alone. So much so I find if i did meet some nice, I wouldnt inflict myself on them because I am such a mess. I have no respect for meself, none, even worse I am not learning. or more scared is that I hate myself that much, that's why I am doing these things I know will make me feel like crap.

    Don't know why I am writing this, I just needed to get it off my chest.


Comments

  • #2
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP it does sound like you need help.

    You should go to your GP if you are really having problems but just in case you cant face that here is a link with lots of telephone numbers of the most popular community based services.

    http://www.rcpi.ie/PublicMeetings/Documents/Resources_Alcohol.pdf


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP,

    Poor you. I don't know if you have a drink problem or not, you probably do if you feel this way, but you certainly have a self-esteem problem.

    Are you blaming yourself for the end of your relationship? Blaming yourself for being single? You sound like you are taking alot of unnecessary responsibility for the way things are. You need counselling.

    I could have written the same post at about 29/30, but things have slowly turned around for me and I am in a much better place. Try not to blame yourself too much for the one night stands, its tough being long term single and we all have a need for attention/affection... just try not to do it again. Sometimes you have to make the same mistake many times over before the message sinks in, but eventually it does.

    Get counselling. Try thinking nice things about yourself. Imagine you were comforting a friend with the same problems as you. You'd be kind to that person wouldn't you? So be kind to yourself.


Advertisement