Friend's behaviour

LegacyUser

My best friend (22) does this thing when she's annoyed at someone where she just ignores you/give a cold shoulder and yet insists nothing is wrong. I've seen her doing it to so many people before and now I seem to be on the recieving end.
Since a week or two ago when we were at a party and I hooked up with my ex (who happens to be a close friend of hers) she's just been off with me and him. I think she's feeling a bit down because she hasn't been with a guy in ages and thinks nobody fancies her (which is wrong... she's stunning and hilarious when she wants to be, and loads of men like her, she just isn't always very approachable and can be a bit intimidating at times!). Now she seems to be just barely talking to me and it's really upsetting me! She ignored me online when I tried to talk to her and when we were out the other night she would be fine with me one minute, then weird the next. I think maybe it's more her feeling sad than hating me, but I don't think she'll admit that. I want to text her and ask is she ok and is she mad at me, but I'm terrified she'll just ignore that! Ive talked to other friends about it, and they say she's been like that with them at times and I just have to learn to ignore it and realise that I can't change the way she acts because she doesnt realise how annoying it is... I probably should give it a few days but its really upsetting me now.

Sorry for the rant...

R.D. aka MR.D

The best approach might to be to talk to her about it and be completly honest.
Ask her what her problem is and tell her the way she is acting is upsetting you.
Shes lucky to have friends if thats how she behaves but then again maybe there is a deeper issue she needs to deal with.

You essentially have to options, talk to her honestly face to face and see what her problem is or ignore it as your friends say and have suffer it for longer or even let her own issues fester and get worse.

CDfm

OP you are 22 and not 16 -and it still would be childish at 16.

Text her and if she doesnt reply dont bother following it up. Life is too short to be wasted on her moods.

When she pulls this stunt describe to her this habit of hers and tell her to be more grown up and to act her age.it might just sink in.

Handsome Bob

From the sounds of it the girl is feeling a bit down about herself so I don't think talking down to her and telling her to "grow up" is going to help. That will make her feel worse and clam up even more.

If it was me OP I would visit her house. She doesn't sound that blatantly pissed off at you so I'm sure she'll let you in. Talk to her, if she says that there is nothing wrong then tell her not to patronise you and explain how she has been treating you (in a way that makes it clear that there is something wrong). I'd be confident that you will get a reaction from her if you take this approach. What kind of reaction you will get however I'm afraid I do not know.

LegacyUser

OP - I know a few people, one in particular, who behave like that.
Ignore it. Be as normal as possible.Sooner or later she'll come around. Believe me, it is a case of her having to grow up. I have one friend who was awful for that - ignores you until you ask what's wrong, then says "I'm fine"....because you're supposed to "know" what you did wrong. I know it's tough and it sucks, but honestly she does need to grow up. It's fairly childish behaviour, regardless of how she's feeling. Actually, if she keeps on like that, what you'll find is that fewer and fewer people will want to know her, because she's so difficult to get on with.
Just go ahead with your life, be as normal as possible around her, and sooner or later it will come out. And a piece of advice - just because she decides to ignore people, or that she doesn't like someone, doesn't mean you have to behave the same towards that person aswell. You're entitled to live your life, and just because she doesn't always agree with you, doesn't mean you need to turn your life upside down to suit her (past experience on my part)