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Paranoia and Doubting Everyone

  • 26-07-2009 9:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I wonder if anyone else has went through anything like this. I was bullied all of my school life. From the first day at 5 years of age until I left at 17 years of age. Not everyday. But alot of the time. Any memories I have of school are being called names, thumped, winded and spat on. THe reason? Because I was quiet and shy, therefore an easy target. After that through drinking, I learned to relax a bit and met alot of people and made alot of friends and actually was very popular. Then in my twenties I drank too much and lost good jobs, etc. I rarely drink much these days and I am happily married with a family. But I have isolated myself from friends. When I meet new people I automatically assume that they will not like me. I doubt close friends and I am paranoid that they really dont think much of me, therefore I isolate myself from them. I have very low self esteem and a poor value on myself. I am in poor job because of lack of education and it's tragic because I know I have brains to burn. But I always think that people really think the worst of me, and its really starting to wear me down..............


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    HI OP, i think what you're describing is all too common in Ireland. I know I had very low self esteem most of my adult life ie from when I left school, and I drank to overcome this. I wasted so much of my early adulthood drinking because of low self esttem and also wallowing in self-pity and navel-gazing. That all changed when I had a kid - suddenly the world turned the right way up for me. But, yes, low self esteem is still there although not as bad. I don't know that this helps you in any way, but just know that you are not alone...Take care.


  • #3
    wolfric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭wolfric


    Trick is not to care. You'll probably rub some people up the wrong way when you start out. Learn to respect yourself and see self worth. So for example, treasure your time. Instead of assuming you're taking up someones times, be wary that they're taking up yours.

    In the end you just have to mingle more and see what works. If someone thinks you're an ahole great! **** them and go onto the next bunch of people. I'd perhaps see a counselor as a lot of people here will give the advice that worked for them which isn't necessarily what you need.


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