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A work interest

  • 26-07-2009 1:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Going unregistered for this one!

    Well, for the past year I've had feelings for someone I work with, but despite many ups and downs, nothing of substance has happened yet and I'm finding it hard to differentiate between friendship and otherwise. We have lots in common, which he has spoken about to others. There is what has appeared to me and others, flirting. But nothing of substance. A while ago I got a text inviting me somewhere, on my own initially, which appeared to be date-like. About half an hour into us sorting out this 'outing', then they said that we might ask others we know along!! It was such a mess!

    Anyway, I'm in a bit of a mess as to what to do now. There are such mixed signals, but half of me knows that I'm probably as mixed as him. I'm very shy and nervous when it comes to things like this that I'm sure I seem very aloof and offputting sometimes despite trying my best...

    And because it's work, I feel I can't take the leap of faith and speak to him about it!

    Any one been in this situation??


Comments

  • #2
    Blue_Wolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 861 ✭✭✭Blue_Wolf


    I wouldn't mix work with pleasure. Always goes badly!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Unregistered wrote: »

    Any one been in this situation??

    Yes i have. I understand what you are going through. If you have feelings for each other it should work out in time. Communicate as best as you can


  • #4
    thefeatheredcat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭thefeatheredcat


    OP,
    If you've had feelings for someone for the past year...how real are these 'feelings'? Could it just be an infatuation that you have? Have you had any reason to think that the person has feelings for you beyond friendship?

    For the trip, just take it as friendship... put your emotional feelings aside and enjoy spending time with them and the group. If that's the first time they've initiated a get-together I wouldn't read too much into it. They get on with you (I assume since you've stuff in common) and hence may just want to hang out. See how things go.

    Have you spent much time with them outside of work? You may just have a certain perception of them from work but they could be that bit different outside of work.

    After the get-together, see how you feel then or what happens during. And if you've had feelings about this person for a long time, I think you're better off finding out whether or not they feel anything for you and if not, keep things good workwise and move on.


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