Ladies, am I too posessive?

LegacyUser

I have been dating a girl for a few months now, we arent in a relationship but we really really enjoy each others company, we have made love, and we care about each other. Recently, we were talking about stuff, and she explained that 'she likes not being in a relationship because she likes the option to kiss someone else despite the fact she apparently hasnt' . I feel bad over her saying that to be honest....am I too posessive?

Silverfish

Not really I suppose, if you like someone it's never nice usually to think of them being with someone else.

Have you spoken to her about making it more of an exclusive thing? She may think you don't want it to be either.

Liam Byrne

Nope. If you were in a relationship, your stance would be perfectly acceptable.

It seems, though, that she and you want different things. Even the fact that you say "we've been dating", rather than "she's my girlfriend", implies that it's overly casual.

That'll work (as a step up from FBs) if both people are on the same page; but if you're thinking of investing in this one, proceed with caution.

Best of luck.

shellyboo

OP, what is it exactly that you want?

Do you want to see her on her own, exclusively? Because that's a relationship, regardless of how much you say it's not.

Either you want a relationship, or you don't. If you don't, she's a free agent. If you do, you have to ask her to be exclusive.

Ellsbells

I would suspect she was trying to suss you out givn that you are 'dating' for months. sleeping together but no mention of being 'exclusive'. She wanted to see your reaction and to see if it would lead to a conversation on where ye stand.

Novella

Unregistered wrote: »

I have been dating a girl for a few months now, we arent in a relationship but we really really enjoy each others company, we have made love, and we care about each other. Recently, we were talking about stuff, and she explained that 'she likes not being in a relationship because she likes the option to kiss someone else despite the fact she apparently hasnt' . I feel bad over her saying that to be honest....am I too posessive?

Well if you two aren't mutually exclusive then honestly, she is entitled to be with whoever she wants. If you feel bad about it because you want to with her and only her, then say that to her. Say you want to be in a relationship. Maybe she brought it up to see what exactly you're thinking considering you've been sleeping together for a while, or "dating". I wouldn't say you're being possessive at all. Situations like this can be complicated. It's probably best that the two of you have a talk now about where things are going.

LegacyUser

she is sussing you out... to see your reaction... hoping it might lead to a discussion on
becomming exclusive. she prob does not want to be the one to bring it up first she
is hoping you wll suggest it etc... girls go about things like that in a round about way
at times, maybe she lacks confidence to bring it up directly