Overseen text message - possible drug use - what to do?

LegacyUser

Ok, been with my girlfriend for just over a year. I'm not going to lie here, when we sit and watch tv she will get texts from her friends and I can see what they say. I know I should look away but I sometimes just glance. More out of curiosity. It's nothing my than just being nosy. Anyway, here lies the problem.

My GF has used cocaine once (she claims) before. She also did a lot of E back in her teens. She said she didn't like it and would never do it again. Now she also knows that I am very anti-coke (it really hit home, a cousin of mine got very messed up on it so I've very little tolerance for it) and she knows I wouldn't go out with a junkie.

Now, today she was getting texts about a night out later. She picks up her phone while we're watching TV and texts "Have you got coke for later" to one of her mates. She angled the phone a bit I think to make it harder for me to see as well. Now I know it could just as easily mean coke for mixing with vodka but I am feeling pretty paranoid about it. The thing is I don't want to challenge her by stating that I read a text over her shoulder so I haven't said anything. I also have full trust for her when she told me she won't do it again so I feel like asking her straight out is betraying this trust and I also feel terrible because clearly my doubts about this mean that I have an underlying suspicion.

Anyway, I just left the house and she figured something was up. I told her I was fine but she knows me pretty well. She thinks I'm annoyed because she's rushed off to get ready for her night out. I don't know what to say. I'm really confused now.

Sarah W

Sorry, but I really don't think it's Coca-Cola. And why has she rushed out rather than finding out why you are annoyed? That doesn't sit right either.

I think you do have to ask her straight out - but as she knows your stance on drugs - be prepared to be lied to. You will have to fess up to seeing her text but that's a minor detail.

Sorry.

LegacyUser

she is definately not talking about coca cola think about it unless they are going off to a bush, knacker drinking for the night why would she need to worry about someone bringing coca cola!!! i would come straight out with it, if she wants to do drugs its her business her life, but knowing how you feel about it, she needs to make a choice by the sounds of it, i would fess up to seeing the message its not your fault ye were sitting close and saw it like its not like you picked up her phone and went through her messages although i'd say the other poster is right be prepared to be lied too!

if you want to suss it out first go out on a night out with her you'll see the signs constantly sniffing running nose talking alot, dosnt appear that drunk after a rake of drink and then you can call her on it!

good luck!

Ellsbells

Well its not like you rifled through her phone. You genuinely saw the text when she was sitting beside you. I would ask her about it, reiterate your stance on drug taking and then watch her behaviour on nights out to see if she is stoned.

Loula

Hey OP, I think you know yourself its not coca cola that your girlfriend was talking about. Best to talk to her about it. From what you've said, I really don't think reading the text is going to be the biggest issue here. All the best

*Lees*

Sorry but I can't see why she couldn't have been talking about coca cola!!! If I'm calling to a friend's house for drinks before heading out I will sometimes ask if they have a mixer so I don't need to stop in the shop!
If it was cocaine I don't think she'd have called it 'coke' either!!
Only way of finding out though is to ask her!!

LegacyUser

Sorry but she could easily have been referring to cocaine when she texted 'coke'. I have been in this situation. My ex used to organise 'coke' (and yes it was cocaine) with a dealer by text. He borrowed my phone once and when he gave it back I read a text he had clearly forgotten to delete. In the text he asked his dealer to text back when he was outside as I was in bed and he didn't want me to know he was still on coke. While not everyone who uses cocaine turns into a junkie, he did develop an addiction and it tore us apart. He made endless promises to quit and while he meant it at the time, he only ever stopped briefly. You'll recognise the signs easily; on top of the ones given already, a lack of appetite, inability to sleep are two more. This is also an expensive drug so you'll notice if she is taking it regularly.
I hope things work out ok.

phancydan

she needs to let her youth go that's probably a big factor here, she associates this stupid drug with freedom, hedonism etc. tell her you'd prefer if she did it in your company, no secrets, that type of thing. she'll lose interest then. she may be talking about coca cola though as most people use an alias when talking about coke. either way don't take it personally as it's her problem

itouchmyself

*Lees* wrote: »

If it was cocaine I don't think she'd have called it 'coke' either!!

Are you serious??? Everyone calls cocaine "coke" what planet are you from or are you in your 50s??? serious question Mods im just genuinely wondering here????

Ellsbells

itouchmyself wrote: »

Are you serious??? Everyone calls cocaine "coke" what planet are you from or are you in your 50s??? serious question Mods im just genuinely wondering here????

Nope - some people call it Charlie

*Lees*

itouchmyself wrote: »

Are you serious??? Everyone calls cocaine "coke" what planet are you from or are you in your 50s??? serious question Mods im just genuinely wondering here????

Yeah people call it coke all the time in conversation but when your writing a text to someone you wouldn't want to make it very obvious to anyone who might happen to read the text that your taking the stuff!!! Did you just reply to this thread to make that statement?? :rolleyes: LOL
OP, I really would give her the benefit of the doubt!!! I hope it works out for you!

herya

*Lees* wrote: »

Yeah people call it coke all the time in conversation but when your writing a text to someone you wouldn't want to make it very obvious to anyone who might happen to read the text that your taking the stuff!!!

Yeah you'd rather text "cocaine" would you?

The Recliner

OK guys

This isn't a thread for semantics, I am sure there is a forum for this around here somewhere

Back on topic please

Pimpey

Bottle_of_Smoke

I think there's a slight yet unlikely chance she meant coca cola.

You're clearly not going to get past this unless you discuss it directly with her. I suggest you do that.

*Lees*

herya wrote: »

Yeah you'd rather text "cocaine" would you?

All I meant was that usually people wouldn't actually say 'Coke' or 'Cocaine' in a text just incase the text was seen by someone else!! As others have said, people do use other slang when talking about it in text messages!! I don't know how you found it so difficult to understand that from my other posts!!!
I just find it difficult to believe the girlfriend would be silly enough to be texting her friend using the word 'Coke' freely while sitting beside her boyfriend!!!

DaveMaC

"tried it once (she claims)"
You dont trust her one bit do you? ..you got to sort that out first mate.

messrs

i agree with Lees here, im sure she would have been onto her mate before hand, so all she had to say was have you 'that' sorted out of later, or did you get that 'stuff' im sure she woudlnt have been that stupid to txt it blatenly infront of her bf
op - your going to have to ask her, its the only way you will no for sure

The Big Red Button

Maybe I'm naive, but I also think that there might be a chance - no matter how small - that she's referring to the drink. Is vodka and coke her usual choice of drink before she goes out?

Rather than guessing, you should just tell her straight out that you saw the text. After all she was sitting right beside you, it's not like she was trying to hide it. Of course, she could lie, but presumably as her boyfriend you'd have a fair idea of whether she's telling the truth.

LegacyUser

DaveMaC wrote: »

"tried it once (she claims)"
You dont trust her one bit do you? ..you got to sort that out first mate.

OP here.

I think you may have hit the nail on head. I'm starting to feel like maybe I do have a suspicious side when it comes to her.

I was talking to her later on Saturday after she'd gone out both around midnight and later on around 4 and she was sounded just a bit tipsy, didn't seem wired or anything, I was only talking on the phone though. We met up next day and she wasn't hungover, just tired later on in the day, which I guess is a bit unusual as she usually would be bad but she hasn't been as hungover recently as her and her best mate are trying to limit their alcohol intake and avoid the shots. But the overall thing was she seemed fine both talking to me that night and the next day.

She was drinking Morgans and coke and she would drink vodka and coke before going out. I haven't said a word to her. I think I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. As the quote above suggests, I may have an underlying trust issue. I suppose it's due to her wild nature but this would be the 1st time I've had reason to suspect. She's had trouble sleeping midweek on a few occasions in the last couple of months which got me thinking after I'd seen the text.

I think the fact that she was drinking Morgans and coke and that I feel like I trust her (quoted post suggests otherwise and I now have my doubts) and when you trust someone you give them the benefit of the doubt but I know now I'll be looking more closely for signs and if I get any hunch then I will confront her.

LegacyUser

Right, Morgans & coke. Entirely possible.

And even if she was taking coke, not the end of the world. 95% of people don't develope serious problems. Just talk to your gf. Let her know she can tell you anything. Then no more paranoia.

Oh The Humanity

I also think it was Coca Cola having read the thread. People would tend to avoid explicitly using the word cocaine/coke/charlie in texts I would imagine....usually using maybe generic words such as 'that' or maybe 'the other' and stuff like that.

Also if she was in good enough form the next day, able to function rather than lying in bed sniffing with black circles under her eyes I would imagine she did nothing worse than have a few drinks.

Nice one ! :pac: