Meeting the right person

LegacyUser

I'm going unreg for this one.

I just wanted to t know if it is only me having such a hard time in finding the right person or if there are many people at their late 20's early 30's have the same issue?

I'm in my early 30's and find it really hard to meet a nice girl that potentially I can consider to have a long term relationship with. I know there are many good people out there but finding them seems to be a challenge and the older I get the more criteria I want in the right person which makes it more difficult.

I wonder what are the thoughts of other single people on this?

CDfm

Maybe you are looking for perfection rather then enjoying getting into a relationship with someone you like. If you are waiting for a fantasy woman and find her it will be a very boring and disappointing relationship as no one can match a fantasy woman.

LegacyUser

I am a 37 year old female, Fairly attractive with a good job own house car etc and I am finding it very difficult also. The nice guys never want to speak to me and all the guys out for one thing wont leave me alone!!!

I met a guy yesterday for a second date and he stormed off in a huff since I wan't ready to sleep with him. I mean really, he only called for a coffee and I had made it clear before we met.

Where can you go to meet nice people. And dont even start me on internet dating. The last guy I dated for 2 years, we got on fantastically, were planning a wedding and he wanted children and everything ...but one day I happened to stumble on an email from gillygstring, that obviously want work and when I dug deeped turned out he had been internet dating for a year of the relationship. Now maybe that is his issue...but he sure as hell has messed me up as a result!

Anyway - not much help to u but if u want to meet someone normal and nice where do u go?

abi2007

I have a similar problem, sometimes I think what I'm looking for doesn't exist yet I don't want to settle for 2nd best. I often battle with myself when I meet a guy if his flaw (everyone has them) is something I can put up with.. most times its not and I know this is my problem not his.

Liam Byrne

Unfortunately, you'll never "meet" someone that you "can have a long-term relationship with". You need to get to know each other first.

Yes, that leads to heartbreak along the way, when you give something a shot and it goes tits-up, but even those relationships have plusses that you can look back on.

So quit with the checklist and try to get to know someone, have fun with them, and maybe your view of them will change, or your checklist will appear less important.

abi2007

Unregistered wrote: »

I met a guy yesterday for a second date and he stormed off in a huff since I wan't ready to sleep with him. I mean really, he only called for a coffee and I had made it clear before we met.

If he was that into you he would wait, his loss. Men get it too easy these days that they no longer have to persue a woman.. so why would they?

LegacyUser

I'm in my early 30's also. I'm single at the moment. If I meet a guy I like, sure, it will be a bonus but I'm happy right now as I am. I have the freedom to do more things now than I did in my 20's due to higher earnings. While being with someone is nice, looking for a partner is not something I put on my to do list everyday to be ticked off. However, I do appreciate what the OP is saying and probably when we reach our age there are more people out there with the proverbial 'baggage', although I find that word quite derogatory.

LegacyUser

hey op im a 26yr old girl dont think im ok looking, i have a job ect and i find it impossible to meet anyone!!! my local is full of 18yr olds, and it seems the only ppl that look my way are alredy with someone else its awful!

and you see some people and they walk out of one relationship and they are in another before a few months is out and im always baffled as to how they do it! most peoples advise is to join clubs i guess or a gym is always a good place i hear, or maybe a weekend away somewhere else meet some new faces!!!!! and the old favourite if you stop looking you'll find somebody ahah!

best of luck with it!

Liam Byrne

abi2007 wrote: »

If he was that into you he would wait, his loss. Men get it too easy these days that they no longer have to persue a woman.. so why would they?

Because some are worth waiting for.....?

ladylouise

i can,t find right guy no matter how i try or where i go.may be i was meant to be alone.you
could find some one i don,t when.

YT

I'm not single now, but I just wanted to tell you about my boyfriend. When we met he was 35 (I was 23) and had resigned himself to being single, he said he had just given up, he had been single for 8 years after his last relationship. We knew each other vaguely through my uncle, one night we just started talking, something clicked and the rest as they say is history.
Two years later we are starting to save for our wedding (he hasn't proposed yet, apparently I keep ruining it by taking about it, so he has to put it off everytime!!) but we know what we are doing and where we are going.

I just wanted to tell you this in the hope that you will know you will find someone right for you and not to give up.

CathyMoran

I think that you need to kiss a lot of frogs first and also broaden the range of people that you would consider dating. I had a list of criteria so long for a potential date that it was amazing that I ever dated anyone...for example I stupidly wanted them to be 6ft plus and an IT nerd...my husband is 5ft 9in and did forestry in college (though to be fair he is an IT nerd). You may be suprised who the right one is. In my case my husband brings atributes that I never imagined were important (but are) to the table and I totally adore him.

John Mason

i had a must have list of what any future partner.

my OH doesnt have anything on my list.

i suggest you dump your list and take time to get to know potential boyfriends rather then disregarding for not being perfect.

LegacyUser

OP, its so so hard to meet someone you can love and who loves you.... I see a lot of posts on here where people are throwing away relationships over small issues and I wonder if people move on to find love in other relationship or if they run as soon as there is a problem.

This is no guarantee you will ever meet someone to speond your life with so its very important to be happy with your lot. A loving relationship should be the icing on the cake and not the cake....

Good luck. Stay positive and open minded and there is a chance you will meet someone.

LegacyUser

i dunno
i'm in early 30's single for quite a number of years. i'm decent bloke. try to be there for ppl when i can. and i just feel like i get used and abused for it. i'm done. i'm officially giving up. i don't even really believe in such a 'thing' as love at this point. its all just self-delusion. Some ppl are just lucky enough to meet someone with a mutually compatable selfdelusion and they then think they love each other. i'm officially becoming a loner workaholic as i least when i put effort into my job i get reward from it.

LegacyUser

I'm a 26 y/o girl and I'm always single, longest relationship has been a couple of months. I get compliments on my looks all the time and have loads of friends so I know its not cos I'm unattractive / have a bad personality. I can't understand people who go from relationship to relationship, how do they always meet people they really like? I think they might have lower standards or something, a LOT of people settle and I refuse to. People might say I'm fussy but I really don't think I am - I literally am looking for a best friend who I fancy and someone who has similar values to myself. Which I think is what most people are looking for. And it's SO hard to find.

I know how you feel OP, but there are plenty of people out there who refuse to settle. Better to be alone than settle. I get hope from my parents - my mum was single for years and then met my dad at 35 and married within a year and were very happy.

LegacyUser

hi,
I'm the exact same. My situation is the same as the above post.
I simply cannot understand how some people have such busy love lives, literally one relationship, and within a few months they are entering another.
I'm also not overly fussy, just want someone I can click with, fancy etc. It's so hard to find this!!!!
But going back to the OP, I dunno what's up with the world, there are nice people out there for all of us, but it's proving impossible for us to cross paths. W could be living/working within half a mile of the partners of our dreams, but how will it ever happen it you don't bump into each other!??! it's difficult!

G-Money

I think this thread is more proof, if any were needed, that we need some sort of boards page for single people to post their info and to get in touch.

Or some sort of boards singles night out...

I'm a 32 year old single male and in the same boat as most other singles on this thread.

CDfm

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i had a must have list of what any future partner.

my OH doesnt have anything on my list.

Do you mind saying what type of stuff you think now to be nonsense was on the list and what you now think important wasnt.

Silverfish

CDfm wrote: »

Do you mind saying what type of stuff you think now to be nonsense was on the list and what you now think important wasnt.

Can you explain how this will be relevant to the OP?

LegacyUser

I have just stumbled on this thread and i'm glad I did. I'm 36 and have been single for four years. I have had two long term relationships, both for around five years. After four years on the shelf I have been coming to the realisation that I may never meet someone. The pool of singles I can socialise with has dwindled and I just don't have the enthusiasm for pushing my way though pubs packed with 21 year olds. At least now I don't feel like I'm the only single person out there. Where do you go to meet someone though?

CDfm

Silverfish wrote: »

Can you explain how this will be relevant to the OP?

The reason is that PFB articulated stuff we all have done except a bit more clearly.I just thought it might benefit the OP to see from someone elses perspective how insignificant a lot of these specifications can be.

LegacyUser

Im in the same boat, im 34 year old woman, but i look younger which believe me is not a good thing when your out. If anyone ever hits on me (which is very rare) they are usually drunk out of their minds and 25 or 26. My friends all think this should flatter me but it doesnt because it cant go anywhere as more than likely a 25 year old bloke is going to be looking for different things from me.

Ive my own job/car/house/savings and im decent enough looking and make the most of myself but ive just given up meeting someone at this stage. I have had relationships here and there but i usually just end up getting dumped when the fella meets someone else or cheats on me and gets caught. Its been two years since my last relationship and i just feel like im invisible at this stage!